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Tried many things to no avail
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Author:  Heffty [ Wed Jun 01, 2011 2:34 am ]
Post subject:  Tried many things to no avail
I've been on this site reading this online sarging section for seven months now. I've switched up my profile at least 6 times to try and get more replies to my messages. There were a few profiles I wrote that were much shorter, with more humor, and there were some that were just copied and pasted from what I found people using on these forums. I've written my own messages...100's of them probably...and I've used ones I've found on this section of the forums. While some of the pre-made messages work to get a reply, most girls don't write back more than once, and it's usually some two word reply or at best a sentence.

So, I've gone back to my original profile. I figure if none of the other stuff was giving me huge improvements...I may as well just stick to who I am and what I'm looking for. I've stopped trying to just mail anyone and I'm just mailing the girls who's profile I really like. I'm still not getting replies for the most part, but at least I am putting the real me out there.

From what I've read on this forum, online sarging should primarily be used for practicing lines and banter that you would use out in the real world. I've definitely been improving my real world game...I've improved on my approaching quite a bit and I'm trying to build on the escalate build attraction through touch concepts. I've read many guys don't get responded to online, that girls rarely even look at your profile, rarely write back, and rarely initiate conversation. I've probably put in far to much work online and not enough in the real world. That is changing, still...there are nights I end up at home and start flipping through profiles to see what's out there...even though it's defeating to know I will likely not get a response to any email I send.

So, I just thought I'd post my profile for you all to see. I'm sure I will get flamed for it. I wouldn't mind some suggestions on how I could add some humor to it without losing the core idea behind it, or making me sound immature. I'm 32 after all, and I'm not out trying to score on 18 year olds. I usually search for 26-35 year olds.

http://www.plentyoffish.com/member20239239.htm
Author:  dlightmen [ Fri Jun 10, 2011 5:29 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm not the best at profiles, according to most my profile suck. But I'll give ya my two cents anyway.

Your biggest problem is your profile is just too plain. In your pics, it looks like you're probably a cool, and honest guy. But, you need to throw some excitement into the mix.

For example, you have a pic of you, and your friends standing around in what looks like floor hockey gear. You're projecting the image you like to hang out with friends and play sports. What you need to do is put up a picture of you playing hockey, showing you're an athlete and healthy. You should be the center of attention in group pics if possible.

Also, don't talk about your home too much. Yes, it's a DHV, but be more subtle... For example, just show a pic of you standing in font of the home, pointing at it and a caption of something like, "My first day in the new bachelor pad.".

Don't copy other people's profiles either. Of course we've all used a clever line or two from a good profile, but if you just copy and paste another person's profile, it's not you.

Just another note: I would really think twice about posting the criteria for messaging you. If you do, just put something like:
- Must love to meet new people and enjoy intellectual conversation.
- Must want to have some serious fun in life

You can always find out if a lady meets your standards later. If she doesn't then just don't text or call her.


Also, be more playful. Women love most any kind of social stimulation. If you can stimulate them in your profile, by coming off playful, and a little silly, they will look forward to taking with you.



Again, I'm not the best at online dating, but hope some of the suggestions help.
Author:  Beetle [ Fri Jun 10, 2011 3:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Some problems I see at first glance:

-Creepy and low quality profile pic. A genuine smile in a casual environment, not entirely turning toward the camera is the best. And make sure it's good quality. If you have lots of quality pictures about you, it shows that you always have good pictures of you - if you cling onto one, then that shows your current arsenal is not very good. You have other good pictures in your gallery, check what else could you use.

-Many boring requirements: Some things are obvious (no liars, etc) and most of them are boring in a checklist kind of way. I see people getting the "tl;dr" or the "I don't care this much" attitude upon reading it. You want to seem like a fun dude, and checklists are not the way there. It's important to state your requirements, but not like this. This way makes you look old.

-Boring introduction: Your introduction is not that bad, but it should be less of an American-style resumé and more of selling yourself with your best foot forward. For example, instead of stating you are funny, be funny, and people will understand.

-Relationship history. That one is a no. If you state that you are over a 5 year relationship and looking for someone longterm right away, you look like a heartbroken fellow who is trying to fill the space. Show that you are open for longterm, and that you had other women in your life, but be casual about it.

Get the e-book by Derek Lamont called The Online Game. Great tips in there.
Author:  Heffty [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 1:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the tips. I need to take some more pictures of myself. I don't have many to choose from.
Author:  Jer585 [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 4:18 am ]
Post subject: 
About 90% of girls who I message look at my profile but none of them ever message me back... So im always changing my profile trying to find something that might catch there interest and message me back.. the one I have now im hoping will do the trick It wont be like reading a novel to them and it has a little bit of humor in it.. to bad all the girls im interested in on the sites ive already messaged
Author:  Beetle [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 10:53 am ]
Post subject: 
Jer, I can only say the same thing I tell everybody on this forum section: Derek Lamont, The Online Game. It helps a lot.
Author:  Jer585 [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 9:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
I am getting more replys now.. I messaged 4 girls before I went to bed last Night and when I woke up 3 of them reply'd And im 90% sure its due to changing my profile a bit and the way I am writing my messages In my messages I stopped putting "message back so we can talk and get to know eachother" and just ended it with a message about either the girls profile or something in one of her pics... all 3 of them answered the question I ended the message off with in the first sentence of theyre reply but didnt ask any questions In return So now I will have to think of something to witty to say about the answers I was given
Author:  Heffty [ Mon Jun 13, 2011 4:12 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeah I changed my profile up...still need some other pictures but I added a few better ones I think. The written part of my profile is completely different with some humor. I cut most of the point form stuff out. I read that book that was recommended and messaged some girls and bugged them a bit about things in their profile.

I will report back in a few weeks time with my findings.
Author:  Heffty [ Thu Jul 07, 2011 5:11 am ]
Post subject: 
I figure it's time for my update.

I would say I have had slightly more success since using some of the suggestions given in this thread. Still, the reply rate is pretty dismal.

Over at match.com I have sent out 96 emails. Some of them were pre designed ones found on here that others claimed to have success with. I'd say around half were ones I created myself. Of those 96 emails sent out I've had 5 replied to and I have gotten one date out of it...happens to be tomorrow actually.

Over on plentyoffish I've sent out 80 emails. Of those I had 11 replied to and got one phone number out. The number was recent so I've only asked once for a date and she said she was sick. Again, half were pre-designed messages and half were probably ones I made up myself.

Overall, still pretty sad. My profile is quite a bit different now. I read that book and I've been using those techniques to write my messages. Still...not working out so well.
Author:  rakeal [ Wed Jul 13, 2011 1:44 am ]
Post subject: 
By messaging a woman randomly on the internet you are showing interest right away. You can't claim to be strolling by, if anything you'd seem like a creeper saying: "Just searching random girls and came across you."

I have MUCH better results in person. I am checking out that book and the forums here because I think I should work on my sticking point... the internet.
Author:  Max DHV [ Wed Jul 13, 2011 6:24 am ]
Post subject: 
Dude-am assuming the link in the first post takes us to the CURRENT version of your profile? All in all id say it reads well, you shud be doing ok with this, course we'd need to see your emails too coz this is only half the picture. I would say leave the 'past longest relationship' section blank, this is an irrelevant piece of info that cannot help your future prospects and serves to kill some of the mystery you have. Also dont be affraid to neg-where you say 'LOL kidding, sort of' it should just read 'Lol'. Shows a stronger frame.
Also less pics is more, you want ONLY GOOD shots of you up there. Get rid of the standing by the fire shot, replace the standing with girls shot (is this a family photo??!!) of one of you with chicks at a bar/party. You may consider the lake shot which is good as your primary and see where that goes (it has a mystery element). Personally out of those I would have Lake/golf/close up fishing shot only. The orchestra thing is good but more something you could speak of as a passion since the photo isnt really doing much.
I can finally talk like this because after many attempts I am now getting the success I wanted with int-dating. Good luck.
Author:  Heffty [ Fri Jul 15, 2011 4:11 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Dude-am assuming the link in the first post takes us to the CURRENT version of your profile? All in all id say it reads well, you shud be doing ok with this, course we'd need to see your emails too coz this is only half the picture. I would say leave the 'past longest relationship' section blank, this is an irrelevant piece of info that cannot help your future prospects and serves to kill some of the mystery you have. Also dont be affraid to neg-where you say 'LOL kidding, sort of' it should just read 'Lol'. Shows a stronger frame.
Also less pics is more, you want ONLY GOOD shots of you up there. Get rid of the standing by the fire shot, replace the standing with girls shot (is this a family photo??!!) of one of you with chicks at a bar/party. You may consider the lake shot which is good as your primary and see where that goes (it has a mystery element). Personally out of those I would have Lake/golf/close up fishing shot only. The orchestra thing is good but more something you could speak of as a passion since the photo isnt really doing much.
I can finally talk like this because after many attempts I am now getting the success I wanted with int-dating. Good luck.
No not sisters...its just the only picture I have with girls. They were musicians I performed with at one point and still friends.

As far as the profile goes, I did what you suggested. I have however had some comments on the orchestra picture, so I think I'll leave it up. I put some captions on there.

The emails I send out are varied. Not the desperate sounding ones but I pick stuff out of her profile and try to neg her a bit but not too much. And I try to make it sound like I'm the one being choosy about who I'm with. I don't know. Send me a few of yours emails in a PM if you would, and maybe that will give me some ideas. I'm not a dumb guy, I can adapt. Just need some help I think. I don't copy and paste for the most part...I have tried a few of the openers posted in here...but they don't usually get much response either.
Author:  Goldfinger1 [ Tue Jul 19, 2011 4:04 am ]
Post subject: 
online as in real life is definitely a numbers game, don't feel bad about low response rates. They will rise. As far as your profile, basically what every body said. Definitely lose the pre written messages and I would love to see what your messages say. As for why they don't respond here are some of the reasons: over burden with mail, too shy, not really into online dating just testing it out, different interests, didn't like your message, think you're a player, just are not attracted to you. There's so many different reasons, so don't even worry about it. Just keeping on busting out those messages and everything will fall into place. You'll be closing strange left and right in no time :lol:
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