So you're trying to get over oneitus by developing oneitus for another chick. Open up your options, pursue some other women, and when this one flakes out it won't bother you nearly as much. You have all your eggs in one basket, which puts her in control of your emotional state. She can drop that basket at any time she wants.
Avoid talking about past relationships like the plague... especially during the attraction phase. It's not something anyone wants to hear, and it make it look like you are still hung up (thus her response). If she insist on talking about her old relationships, you're job is to listen only and DON'T TRY TO SOLVE HER PROBLEMS. If she really can't drop the subject, consider that she might be hung up on her past relationship (I think it's obvious that she is), and you might want to consider moving on.
She asked for the date and set the place? Please don't tell me she picked the time too and you just said "Ok"? She's in control. Maybe that's ok if you're a woman as well, but you still want to retain some control no matter what. No, a cinema is not a great place to talk and you should have said that right away. You should also be busy at the first time she asked, even if you weren't. Friday night is a horrible time for a first date. First of all, you don't have anything better to do on a Friday night? You should. Weekdays are much better because there's less expectation placed on the date. You should have pushed back right away.
You're in a really awkward sitation now, and I don't think there's an out that gets you the girl. She's demonstrated that she is unstable and and hung up on her ex, and you should cut-and-run. She is not deserving of your attention, no matter how hot she is. Being hot is not a license to be crazy. Recognize the red flags and move on.
If you really wanted to salvage this, I'd say your best bet would be to play along that you are her ex and you are stalking her. You don't want to be too serious about it, though. You want her to be unsure whether you're joking or not. It creates some mystery and it's a much better position to be in than desperately trying to convince her that it's not true. Also, I doubt she'll expect it. You might be able to get it to work for you in the long run, or it could backfire horribly. You don't have anything to lose, though, because you are very far from having this chick. Chances are it's already too late though.
Really the best advice I can give you is to move on. When you do move on, though, you need to recognize that you put yourself in that sitation because of your actions, and recognize how you can change those actions in order to avoid these sitations in the future. I'm pretty sure you lost a lot of attraction when you started talking about your ex, even if you were only trying to relate it to her experiences.
--J
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Seriously, this is the most random situation. What do I do?