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Time period between setting the date and the actual date.
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Author:  anonymousdt [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 10:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Time period between setting the date and the actual date.
Okay, so here's the story.

I hit it off with this woman on OKCupid. Things went smoothly. We exchanged numbers and e-mails. From e-mail we made a date for Friday night. She text-responded to a later e-mail I wrote (she was the one that took it from e-mail to text). At this point, I'm getting a lot of IOI's. She is very direct and doesn't play games.

The problem is that I feel like things are starting to run a little dry. It started off with long, substantive messages back and forth on a daily basis. Now that the date is set, and things are at the text stage, I feel like conversation is running thin, and there's a chance that the fire will die out by Friday. Now, I don't think she's going to cancel or stand me up or anything, but I don't want an uphill battle. I feel like if we had a date tonight, then things would be golden. But it's the gap in time that's killer.

So, has anyone else dealt with that gap in time? How did you deal with it?
Author:  Faust23 [ Tue Feb 01, 2011 10:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Check out text message game routine, but just don't shoot yourself in the foot as coming off as to needy. Remember you can over water a seed.
Author:  Miko999 [ Wed Feb 09, 2011 1:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
I asked around the forum once about the same thing and decided that the longest I would schedule a date is for the day AFTER tomorrow. Makes sense...and don't go scheduling dates too far ahead if your game wasn't perfect(whose is?) then she'll have plenty of time to imagine scenarios she might want to avoid.

Good Luck
Author:  luthor [ Wed Feb 09, 2011 9:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
I kind of disagree. It's logical that you're not sending long penpal letters anymore because you're meeting up. You'll do the deep connection stuff, getting to know each other on the meet up.

Just try and keep you texts fun and flirty, maybe role play a little. But I wouldn't get too talky in them. Build some anticipation rather than thinking it's dying.
Author:  anonymousdt [ Sat Feb 12, 2011 9:36 am ]
Post subject: 
I think I have to agree with Miko: don't set the date too far in advance.

Here's what ended up happening. We started sending flirty texts, so things picked up better than I had hoped for. She told me where she worked and I showed up randomly two days before the date (while things were still hot). It was a ballsy move because it could have bordered on stalker-ish, but I knew it wouldn't be weird in this particular situation. The rest is history.

What I learned from the experience was that if things are done right, then it will get hot quick. And if things are getting hot you don't want a long interim for things to get stale. It's important to first figure out how often she responds. If she only logs in every two days, then ask for a date on monday, so she responds on wednesday, and then see her on friday. The time gaps are perfect there. Don't ask her on thursday, so she can read it on saturday and already have plans and make plans for the following week. It's too much time; things are likely not going to be as hot and spontaneous. But, as always, it depends on the situation.

Also, I learned that spontaneity and confidence can accelerate things very quickly ;)
Author:  Mig [ Sat Feb 12, 2011 5:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
I couldn't agree more, you have to set the dates asap once you get the #. My personal favorite thing to do is get the number, text a few times, then say, "In a bit, I'm going to take a 20 minute break from work to get some coffee, need caffeine?"

Just meet them...with online dating, there's a 50-50 chance you'll have no attraction to her as soon as you meet her, so don't go overboard with the dates.
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