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| Author: | rtomala26 [ Sat Jan 08, 2011 6:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | ok cupid tune up profile |
IS it me or my profile is a bit long, dull, not attention grabbing? Any suggestions accepted. What should i change? My self-summary My Life is great but can always be better!!! I recently moved up from Miami best decision I have made to get one step closer to achieving my goals .The only two drawbacks are that I don’t know many people in the area yet, and I cant go to the beach four times a week anymore . This means I have to explore, any suggestions on places let me know…Road trips are my favorite thing to do, I have a road trip kitchen in my truck… Edited by My Life is great but can always be better!!! I recently moved up from Miami best decision I have made to get one step closer to achieving my goals .The only two drawbacks are that I don’t know many people in the area yet, and I cant go to the beach four times a week anymore . This means I have to explore, any suggestions on places let me know…Road trips are my favorite thing to do, I have a road trip kitchen in my truck… My Life is great but can always be better!!! I recently moved up from Miami best decision I have made to get one step closer to achieving my goals .The only two drawbacks are that I don’t know many people in the area yet, and I cant go to the beach four times a week anymore . This means I have to explore, any suggestions on places let me know…Road trips are my favorite thing to do, I have a road trip kitchen in my truck… Style guide Save Cancel What I’m doing with my life At the present moment I have two jobs well never mind just one the other one was one of my dreams so its not a job. I co-own a restaurant, and in the summer of 2011 I will be opening up another restaurant, it’s a work in progress. I also work at Wal-Mart for the meanwhile I need funds you know. I ‘m in the process of completing my real estate/ and appraisers license. When I get done with that I will be taking business courses, and attending a culinary program. I know what I want and know how to get it. I am busy most of the time so you can say my time is precious. I need someone that wants the best out of life like me…. Edited by At the present moment I have two jobs well never mind just one the other one was one of my dreams so its not a job. I co-own a restaurant, and in the summer of 2011 I will be opening up another restaurant, it’s a work in progress. I also work at Wal-Mart for the meanwhile I need funds you know. I ‘m in the process of completing my real estate/ and appraisers license. When I get done with that I will be taking business courses, and attending a culinary program. I know what I want and know how to get it. I am busy most of the time so you can say my time is precious. I need someone that wants the best out of life like me…. At the present moment I have two jobs well never mind just one the other one was one of my dreams so its not a job. I co-own a restaurant, and in the summer of 2011 I will be opening up another restaurant, it’s a work in progress. I also work at Wal-Mart for the meanwhile I need funds you know. I ‘m in the process of completing my real estate/ and appraisers license. When I get done with that I will be taking business courses, and attending a culinary program. I know what I want and know how to get it. I am busy most of the time so you can say my time is precious. I need someone that wants the best out of life like me…. Style guide Save Cancel I’m really good at Getting into adventures According to everyone cooking my photographic memory having a good time no matter what I'm doing Edited by Getting into adventures According to everyone cooking my photographic memory having a good time no matter what I'm doing Getting into adventures According to everyone cooking my photographic memory having a good time no matter what I'm doing Style guide Save Cancel The first things people usually notice about me I haven't developed psychic abilities yet, so why don't you tell me. Edited by I haven't developed psychic abilities yet, so why don't you tell me. I haven't developed psychic abilities yet, so why don't you tell me. Style guide Save Cancel Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food I’m an empty essay... fill me out! Edited by Style guide Save Cancel The six things I could never do without 1 Adventures 2 My truck 3 Water I drink 2 gallons a day 4 Beach, life would not be the same without it 5 My phone, people need to keep in touch 6 The person reading this :p Edited by 1 Adventures 2 My truck 3 Water I drink 2 gallons a day 4 Beach, life would not be the same without it 5 My phone, people need to keep in touch 6 The person reading this :p 1 Adventures 2 My truck 3 Water I drink 2 gallons a day 4 Beach, life would not be the same without it 5 My phone, people need to keep in touch 6 The person reading this :p Style guide Save Cancel I spend a lot of time thinking about 50%- random things that have nothing to do with whats going on around me. 15% How i can change the world 15%- School 17% my next adventure or road trip 3%- Dirty minded thoughts. Edited by 50%- random things that have nothing to do with whats going on around me. 15% How i can change the world 15%- School 17% my next adventure or road trip 3%- Dirty minded thoughts. 50%- random things that have nothing to do with whats going on around me. 15% How i can change the world 15%- School 17% my next adventure or road trip 3%- Dirty minded thoughts. Style guide Save Cancel On a typical Friday night I am Nothing typical here. Its Friday same as any other day, same 24 hour day. I'm up for anything 7 days a week anytime. i have a saying "you can sleep all you want when you die, so make memories now". Edited by Nothing typical here. Its Friday same as any other day, same 24 hour day. I'm up for anything 7 days a week anytime. i have a saying "you can sleep all you want when you die, so make memories now". Nothing typical here. Its Friday same as any other day, same 24 hour day. I'm up for anything 7 days a week anytime. i have a saying "you can sleep all you want when you die, so make memories now". Style guide Save Cancel The most private thing I’m willing to admit Ask and i will tell... Warning be prepared to laugh... Edited by Ask and i will tell... Warning be prepared to laugh... Ask and i will tell... Warning be prepared to laugh... Style guide Save Cancel I’m looking for * Girls who like guys * Ages 18-27 * Near me * Who are single * For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners You should message me if As you can see I know what I want and I hope you do to. If you're cool with someone who wont play games and will just be themselves and does what comes natural, and is willing to test new boundaries and try new things to take a risk, just get out there and live life to make it count that’s me. I'm always happy and like to be around people that are happy and have positive outlooks With life and themselves. ( If you don’t believe in your self who will?). Or if you think your awesome like me…. |
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| Author: | ix. [ Sat Jan 08, 2011 6:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Well just my thoughts: "I don’t know many people in the area yet" IMHO, This is a huge DLV in your opening paragraph. Remove it, or replace with "I'm looking to meet more people in the area." See the difference in attitude? Also "and I cant go to the beach" is very negative. Reword it something like: "I miss having fun on the beach but now I get to explore new places instead". This is far more positive. "At the present moment" While not a DLV/DHV it's a tautology and just makes it odd to read. Replace with "In the present" or preferrably "at the moment" The resturant stuff is good. Great DHV and you don't come off as smug about it but "I also work at Wal-Mart for the meanwhile I need funds you know" then cancels it out. I'd Just take that off. The time is precious stuff is good, it both explains your reasons for being on a dating site and " I need someone that wants the best out of life like me" makes her want to qualify herself to you. You REALLY need to remove "6 The person reading this :p " It looks very needy. Huge DLV imho. "Ask and i will tell... Warning be prepared to laugh..." is good, adds an element of challenge and curiosity. Finally, I'd take off "activity partners". It's a dating site. It makes you look indecisive and that you'll take what you can get. Remember: You're the prize. Others will probably disagree, but there's my opinon for what it's worth. |
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| Author: | rtomala26 [ Sat Jan 08, 2011 7:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
i completely agree with you, making changes as we speak. Thanks for the input. |
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