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How to respond to a facebook friend request
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Author:  Congo [ Mon Aug 23, 2010 7:47 pm ]
Post subject:  How to respond to a facebook friend request
I was on a party the other day, where I met an attractive woman. We got very intimate but never kissed or had sex (not that I would go for the latter on day one anyway). The day after, I got to know through a common friend that she is actually in a relationship. Anyway, I'm gonna spend the next year in a remote place. My goal is thus not to get involved in a relationship with her now, but rather to find a way to make her keep the interest, so that I can resume the process when I get back if we're both single then.

So here's the thing: Today I received a friend request from her on facebook. I'd like to know a good way to answer this. Here's what I've come up with so far:

WHAT!?

Another friend request after less than one day of acquaintance! People are really socially in demand these days. Give me ONE good reason why I shouldn't ignore your request like all those from the other folks that I met


What do you think? Any better ideas?
Author:  afc_gone [ Tue Aug 24, 2010 9:11 am ]
Post subject: 
Too strong. I had a similar experience. A sister of my colleague (they are both very close to being HB10) added me on FB, after only briefly speaking to her (like less then a minute) on a party. She lives fairly far away from me. What I did is I added her and when I first saw her on chat I started teasing her softly. Now I have her on FB for about half a year and we speak only once in a month or so. But the teasing is now much more sexual. I think the next time i see her, there will be no problems getting with her.
Author:  Congo [ Tue Aug 24, 2010 3:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
How about this?

Hello again, Miss (funny name for her)! It was a real pleasure to meet you at that party! But being cute and charming does not automatically qualify you as a facebook friend. Did you think it was THAT easy ;-) You know, I don't usually add people that I've only met once or twice. But feel free to wish me a cool year in (where I'm going) here! That way you also avoid disappearing among all the others on my wall ;-)
Author:  afc_gone [ Tue Aug 24, 2010 7:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree with the miss (funny name- something special she did at the party...example she spilled her drink: what's up miss I-spill-free-drinks:P) But you have to be careful about the rest...it may come up as too arogant.
Author:  Congo [ Wed Aug 25, 2010 12:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Here we go again

Hi Miss (funny name)! It was a real pleasure to meet you at that party! It's always a lot more fun at home parties than at bars and clubs, don't you think? When it comes to facebook, I'm a bit more picky than most, and I don't add people I've only met once or twice - even nice and cute girls (did you think it was THAT easy ;-) ) Anyway, I'm off to (where I'm going) next week for a year of studying, but I'll see you again soon!

Is it still too arrogant?
Author:  Samm101 [ Wed Aug 25, 2010 3:47 am ]
Post subject: 
I think you guys are writing a bit too much. I would just accept the friend request and then send a message saying "hello" and wait for the response to determine her enthusiasm eg smiley emotocon = good, blunt response = not so good. I think you should limit the messages there after to only 2 sentences. Anymore and I think she'll think your trying too hard to impress her ie think your a little desperate.
If your away and you've been messaging for a bit you can expand and get a penpal relationship going but from the start my advice is to keep the messages short and brief.
Author:  fox_theone [ Wed Aug 25, 2010 6:03 am ]
Post subject: 
Just accept it and send her a message. You'll have lots of chances to disqualify her otherwise. Relax.
Author:  Congo [ Fri Aug 27, 2010 11:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
I actually accepted her, and wrote this:

Hello again Miss (funny name)! It was a pleasure to meet you at that party! It's always a lot more fun at home parties than at bars and clubs, don't you think?

I received an answer today:

Hello again! It was in time I met you after all I've heard from (common friend which she and another guy share appartment with) ;-). Yes, home parties are definitely better, bars and clubs are just foolery. You should join us if we set up a home party at our place before you leave :)

I don't have time for that, so is it better to leave the conversation open until next time I'm back in town?
Author:  fox_theone [ Sat Aug 28, 2010 3:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Keep the conversation going for a little longer and keep it fun and teasing. She'll enjoy talking to you. When you have to leave just leave. Leave the conversation with a cliffhanger. She'll be wondering why you didn't respond and probably start asking friends about you.

If those were her exact words you're doing great man. Keep it up. You've got rapport going.
Author:  Congo [ Sat Aug 28, 2010 4:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks, sounds like a plan :D

Any tips regarding how long I should wait before I respond to her messages? I don't want to give her the impression that I'm a facebook hore either...
Author:  afc_gone [ Sat Aug 28, 2010 4:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Once or twice a day is good enough. btw you did the right thing by not typing too much. Like fox_theone said, you'll do the rest later.
Author:  Congo [ Sun Aug 29, 2010 12:12 am ]
Post subject: 
She has a funny accent, so I came up with this answer:

LOL, so you're WRITING in that weird local accent too :-D

I'm leaving already next week, so my next party will be dominated by (funny peculiarities of the region I'm travelling to). But tell me if you know of any good student discounts at one of those cloning companies, so that I can join the fun back here as well!
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