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| Could do with some help... https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=70833 |
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| Author: | Forn68 [ Fri Jul 09, 2010 7:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Could do with some help... |
Firstly, Hello... I am new here. I got involved a few years ago, got a girl, moved in together... then she turned mental on my ass. So I find myself back in the game, after a year. I add a friend of a friend on Facebook. There is instant attraction between the two of us. We exchange short banter convos via email. The banter went on for so long, then she sends... ' Tell me something' So I told her the truth, that ' I can't get your face out of my head' She liked that and replied ' I want to know more about you' So I told her more. She liked again and replied, that she has a boyfriend, but can't stop looking at her phone to see if I have got in contact! It then became awkward as she didn't know what to say! I got passed this and it became full of banter that turned sexual. She said her boyfriend is going away for two weeks, so she will decide if she wants to stay with him, so that we can meet up. So, some serious IOI's. Then she just goes quiet on me. I didn't bother contacting her all day as I thought I would play it cool. Comes to now and I had to txt because it was doing my head in her not contacting like she had been. She was very cold and short in the reply's, saying that she was tired from work. So I said something funny and left it at that. What can you guys make of this? It seems like she has lost interest over night... Thanks a lot |
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| Author: | Graybeard [ Sun Jul 11, 2010 9:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
We are all new at some point and of course we all make mistakes. Sometimes we don't even actually make a mistake but it's like we hit a hot button that puts things in complete shutdown mode. All you can do is try to learn from mistakes. I really don't like how you told her that "you can't get her face out of your mind". I don't think it's bad to say that exactly. I think it's bad to say that before there was ever a date. To me, that's something to say after date number 2. After the first date would seem rushed. By you saying it now though, you did several things. First you traded a compliment in hopes of gaining points without expecting anything in return. Also, I think it makes you seem a bit clingy or inexperienced and in a girl's mind like a possible stalker. I've been following this stuff for about 10 years. One of the first things I learned is that if you meet a strange girl at a bar, you NEVER buy them a drink. You would be giving them something for nothing which makes you weak. Your big time compliment is much the same thing. In the bar situation, maybe you have the girl do something embarrassing or physical to earn her drink. You don't just give them one. I think you should have held back. If you really wanted to go with anything concerning thinking about her, I'd suggest saying something like "I thought of you today.", which naturally she's going to ask what you thought to which you reply something like "oh, don't you worry about it." . If you do it that way, it's like a riddle and she's going to bug you about it. It's a game and you make her earn the right to know. Now I wouldn't follow this up with anything too dramatic. About the boyfriend--- First off, I am not someone looking for relationships. So perhaps my advice will not be valid. But I never worry about the boyfriend. His job is to be at home keeping the gf off the computer. If she is making an effort to flirt with guys she is either missing something or is a tease. I just keep pursuing. They can walk away anytime they want. They usually don't. I wouldn't be giving her time to think of if she wants to be with the bf. I'd just be like , "you're bf is gone, you're available, I want to do something with you." There may be hesitation but often they think "oh it's just hanging out". What do I care what they think it's going to be? I'm the one now spending time with them. I just don't back down and turn it into a game of chicken with an open door for them to walk out of. If out and they say "I have a bf.", I just say "well, I don't see your bf here.". As long as you are moving forward and not flinching at their defenses/excuses it just gives them more time for rationalizing reasons to be with you. Most girls seem to only learn saying "i have a bf" but don't learn any followup excuses for when you don't care if they have a bf. I think most likely her sudden lack of communication is out of concern that you are clingy. I"m only going from a little bit here. I don't buy the "tired from work." thing. When you have rapport with a girl and they are tired, often they will talk to you well past the time they said they think they will need to go to bed. There is always time for a phone call or a text. My guesses about her seemingly loss of interest is that either you scared her or more likely that she had a couple other guys she was talking to and one of them is going to be the replacement for her current bf. I'd say to play this by ear. Whatever you do don't be all needy and gush sweet nothings. She's just another girl. For the most part ,they are interchangeable. I can see how being either aggressive could mess this up or how being distant may cause this to fade out. I think the best solution would be to act busy. Basically having the attitude of "I can't wait around for each day. I'm going to have a good time and you can show me attention and be part of it or I'll just have fun with or without you.". I think that breaks up a bit of the needy image a bit. I also think it puts her on the spot and makes her work. Plus it makes it seem like maybe she is missing out on a good time. You have to read her as you go. Just don't treat this like making a friend. Getting women is not the same as making friends. |
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