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| Feedback on my profile https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=70625 |
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| Author: | aktor [ Tue Jul 06, 2010 10:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Feedback on my profile |
Hey guys. Anyone care to give me a critique? It's translated from my native language to English. -- A few things about me: Where I am at the moment: I play guitar and sing in a band. I'm taking a masters degree in economics. I have awesome friends. I have a really fun and creative job. What I plan on doing: -I want to go backpacking in Asia and South America. I want to see the ancient Ink sites, eat Dim Sum in Hong Kong and lie on a white beach in Puetro Galera and let little fishes nibble my toes. -I want to drive across the USA. Mainly I want to stop at small villages and get to know the people and tap into the "small village"-spirit that these people have (seen grounds hog day? Love that movie). -Go skydiving. I want to experience what it feels like rushing at 200 km/h towards the earth. -Learn Arabic. After that travel the middle-east. The things I look for in a friend: Positivism and ambition. -- |
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| Author: | deviated rationality [ Tue Jul 06, 2010 11:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Broke it down with different colors to point out areas of improvement. Hope this helps. Where I am at the moment: I play guitar and sing in a band. I rock out on stage in a "music genre" band, I play lead guitar and vocals. Basically you want to give *everything* you do or is about you some flavor. Make it seem amazing, even if its scooping dog shit. I'm taking a masters degree in economics. dont put what it is a degree in. Just say you are working on finishing up your Masters and look forward to whatever comes next. This leaves an open question so she can ask you what major it is, which is an IOI. I have awesome friends. Let pics or comments dictate this. This right here is a DLV because you are trying (unsuccessfully) to convey that you are popular, but there is nothing to indicate you are other than this statement, which has no details about them or your popularity I have a really fun and creative job. What about your job do you like, what makes it fun and creative? Be vague. In fact, I would make shit up, that is absurd. Saying exactly what you do could indicate your value, and that alone is bad because if its high they could be gold diggers, if its low you might be overlooked. Basically something along the lines of a good joke to make them IOI you again and ask. Never tell anyone how much you make in real life, ever though. What I plan on doing: -I want to go backpacking in Asia and South America. I want to see the ancient Ink Incansites, eat Dim Sum in Hong Kong and lie on a white beach in Puetro Galera and let little fishes nibble my toes. excellent usage of imagery and sensation here -I want to drive across the USA. Mainly I want to stop at small villages We don't call them villages, but towns and cities. and get to know the people and tap into the "small village"-spirit that these people have (seen grounds hog day? Love that movie). -Go skydiving. I want to experience what it feels like rushing at 200 km/h towards the earth. I would talk more about the feelings you anticipate and how anxious, intimidated, yet excited you are to tempt fate, which means youre fun and a thrill seeker -Learn Arabic. After that travel the middle-east. All of these places are great, but you should emphasize exploring and getting to know other cultures and people. This would make you seem like you are very outgoing and socially more advanced, understanding, experienced, and worldly. Might also list places you've already been as a way for them to IOI you by asking about them. The things I look for in a friend: Positivism and ambition. Take out Positivity and add passion. Most women have self-esteem issues and are by no means positive. Passion and ambition are great, as is a sense of adventure and spontenaity (which is highly sought after by women, so you should indicate that you rarely set, or rather, follow plans and love to "just do whatever feels right" or something to that affect.) Add a ton more humor and playfulness. Hope this helps. |
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| Author: | aktor [ Wed Jul 07, 2010 9:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks for a really good answer. I'll go work on those things. |
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| Author: | deviated rationality [ Wed Jul 07, 2010 10:24 pm ] |
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not a problem. think of your profile as a movie script; would you want to sit through your profile? or would you like to enjoy it? Add spice and character according to your personality to make yourself seem as interesting and entertaining as possible. |
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