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Totally baffled by this girl on OKCupid, help please!
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Author:  zazazaza [ Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:45 am ]
Post subject:  Totally baffled by this girl on OKCupid, help please!
OK so I just created an account there a couple of days ago and opened a very cute HB8 with the tried and true "married and divorced you in my mind" routine, here's a breakdown of the convo:

Me:
Title: I should let you know...
After a rigorous review of your profile, I have already married and divorced you in my mind.

Thanks for all the wonderful imaginary memories... you will always have a special place in my heart.

With love,
Justin, your ex-hubby

P.S. I'm totally keeping the house in Hawaii.

Her: Uh... alright.

I have received so many messages from people on this site.... this one is the best.

The breakup sex was great,

Melissa

Me: Tell me about it, why you waited until the end of the line to unleash your inner freak I'll never know.

It's just a shame we had to call things off 'cause of your fling with Enrique, the Latino pool boy.

Her: Listen. I couldn't do anything about it. The thong bathing suit he wore was calling to me.

What about you and the baby sitter?

Me: Well, you were taking sooooo long to get ready to go out for dinner, what was I supposed to do? I had to be a good host.

You know this doesn't have to get bitter. Remember our pillow fights right before the great sex and the romantic dinners I would make you?

Her: You are right. The good definitely outweighs the bad... think we can make up? Or at least be epic FWBs?

Me: I guess with all our history, we owe it to ourselves to at least try. And it's not like I can just lie to myself and pretend that you weren't the most incredible lover I've ever had.

I seem to have lost your number in all those messy divorce papers though. If you send it my way maybe we'll see if lightning can strike twice.

Her: ;)

Me: That's so weird, I tried punching that into my cellphone but all I got was a middle aged woman telling me to please check the number and dial again. She didn't sound very happy either.

Her: Are you fo realz?

Me: Of course not, lol.

The Melissa I married totally would have known that though. Don't tell me you've changed, that would almost be too much to bear.

Her: ahem haha


This has really left me scratching my head, she seemed really into it at first and now I'm getting cryptic responses. Did I go for the # too soon? Is she just screwing with me? I'm baffled.
Author:  a40536 [ Thu Jul 01, 2010 8:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Totally baffled by this girl on OKCupid, help please!
Quote:
This has really left me scratching my head, she seemed really into it at first and now I'm getting cryptic responses. Did I go for the # too soon? Is she just screwing with me? I'm baffled.
You have HER # you do NOT continue to message her on OKCupid and the wedding stuff is probably getting boring it has been going on to long, certainly do not continue it when you txt her but you can call her Ex-wife as a funny kickname for her :)

In general she is fun and playing along she even says she wants be have sex with you and be FWBs... just grab the bull by the horn lock down a meet up, and fuck her, be her FWB...
Author:  Dr. Beat [ Thu Jul 01, 2010 11:39 am ]
Post subject: 
It's my understanding that he doesn't have the number... isn't that correct?

To be honest, I think you went for it too soon because you kept up the marriage thing. After going back and forth with that stuff, she doesn't know anything about you still. You're just this guy who's joking around with her, but you haven't said anything to make her know you any better.

I would only run that for 2 messages or so, and then segue into real conversation.
Author:  a40536 [ Thu Jul 01, 2010 12:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
It's my understanding that he doesn't have the number... isn't that correct?
Ah yes, i just skim read it, i assumed he had her number and had replaced it with a wink, especially becuase i only skimmed the next reply... but now i read it propperly i can see she put a wink instead of her number, and he is joking about trying to call the wink blah blah...
Quote:
To be honest, I think you went for it too soon because you kept up the marriage thing. After going back and forth with that stuff, she doesn't know anything about you still. You're just this guy who's joking around with her, but you haven't said anything to make her know you any better.

I would only run that for 2 messages or so, and then segue into real conversation.
Yep... Agreed, the marrage thing went on a bit long... you need to change subject, and like i said in my first message she says she wants be have sex with you and be FWBs... so lock down a meet up, and fuck her, be her FWB... :)
Author:  zazazaza [ Thu Jul 01, 2010 5:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah you guys are right, I don't have the number yet. I'm not sure I'm gonna put too much weight into her FWB comment, it seems like it could be a bit of a shit test. But at least it shows that she's being a flirty.

I definitely think you're right about keeping the marriage thread open too long. What would you guys recommend I segway into then? Just regular conversation, ask her about herself, etc. to build up some comfort?
Author:  a40536 [ Thu Jul 01, 2010 8:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Yeah you guys are right, I don't have the number yet. I'm not sure I'm gonna put too much weight into her FWB comment, it seems like it could be a bit of a shit test. But at least it shows that she's being a flirty.
Depends what you want out of her, to how you will ultimatly approach the meet and what you percive she wants, if for instance she is in a relationship, she doesnt need another bf...
Quote:
Just regular conversation, ask her about herself, etc. to build up some comfort?
Fuck NO! it has to be a slow transition, you cannot go from talking the piss, and having fun to being all mr serious.... As mentioned You need to slowely tranition, a few games, (to covertly get information) then after a few more messages you hit her with the meet, (again depending on what you percive you and her both want! you will approach it a few diffrent ways) the serious way "Do you still like tacos ?" if she says yes, invite her out with you and freinds, and tell her she can bring a freind for taco tuesday aslong as her freinds are fun or something....

If it is going to be a non-serious relationship, text for a bit, then suggest meeting at Starbucks or something....
Author:  zazazaza [ Thu Jul 01, 2010 9:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Do you know of any good playful comfort routines to make the transition? I'm trying to think of one/find one myself but I seem to be coming up empty at the moment.

Thanks for your help so far BTW.
Author:  zazazaza [ Sat Jul 03, 2010 5:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Damn, I think I lost her, posted this reply on the 1st and haven't gotten a reply yet.

Me: Oh dear.

In that case, I know a fun little way to get to know the new Melissa and see if she can top the old one.

1. You're stranded on a desert island with no hope of rescue and your cellphone only has enough battery to make one call, who do you call? Why?

2. If you could be invisible for one hour, where would you go and what would you do?

*sigh* what a shame.
Author:  a40536 [ Sat Jul 03, 2010 6:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Damn, I think I lost her, posted this reply on the 1st and haven't gotten a reply yet.

1.You're stranded on a desert island with no hope of rescue and your cellphone only has enough battery to make one call, who do you call? Why?
2. If you could be invisible for one hour, where would you go and what would you do?[/i]

*sigh* what a shame.
When did you send it to her, it took a girl 2 weaks to respond to me on a social site, a few days ago LOL.. seriously thought it can take a girl a day or two, to reply, the 2 weaks was a bit exteme but she did have a good reason (hols) and i got a sorry :)

Generally if it is more than 2 weaks, i will send her a c&f message saying something like didnt your mum ever teach you it is rude to ignore people..... but you will get the bitch with that one :)
Author:  minsok [ Sun Jul 04, 2010 11:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Look. Use the married couple routine to get your foot in the door, then you have to start asking her actual questions and revealing a little bit about yourself. Did you think the routine was going to take you all the way to getting laid? What were you even going to do after you got the number, pretend to be an ex-husband?
Author:  zazazaza [ Tue Jul 06, 2010 4:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah I fucked up, no doubt. This isn't a mistake a constantly make though, my interaction with this girl has been pretty unique.

Anyways, I decided to give it one last go before walking away and she actually responded, went down like this:

Me: Are you still thinking? Geez, they aren't THAT tough. I thought you were supposed to be the brainy type.

Her: lol.. sorry... ive been working on stuff for school.

this is my week from hell

Not sure how to proceed, should I tease her a bit about ignoring me and get her to answer the questions I asked before or forget about them and move on?
Author:  minsok [ Tue Jul 06, 2010 5:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Nah, forget those questions. You know what questions tend to open the doors and get the girl in the right mindset for me are; "So why are you on here, don't get hit on enough by guys in the real world?" Or "So what are you looking for in a mate?" I think those will be much more informative than hypothetical questions. You still have to be humorous and fluff a bit more before asking for her number again. Keep your messages as short as hers.
Author:  zazazaza [ Wed Jul 07, 2010 4:41 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeah that sounds good, I guess I'll wait until the end of the week to send anything since apparently she's busy. Would that create a risk of any remaining spark diminishing though?
Author:  minsok [ Wed Jul 07, 2010 6:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Yes, every day you wait, the interest you've set up decreases. 5 days is long enough if she logs in every day. Another good question to ask is if she's had any success with dating on the site, that opens up a good conversation. Recall your married and divorced routine and then transition to questions. Maybe, "you're always busy with school, that's why we divorced at such a young age. But seriously..." Try to get her on chat. I opened a girl yesterday, she responded today and I caught her on chat while she was still on and now we're meeting tomorrow after midnight...
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