"I unblocked you, so you can say you're sorry"
"OK, I'm sorry for being so intruiging that you couldnt keep away from me
, anyway ... "
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| Breaking her dominant frame... https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=70043 |
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| Author: | Lysander [ Sun Jun 27, 2010 12:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Breaking her dominant frame... |
Hey guys, I'm new to the game and still learning the ropes. So far its going well- I've got two dates lined up this week and always looking out for more. One of the things I've been using as practice is an online dating site and there was this HB9 that's apparently a model that I wanted to write to for a while. I eventually did. Normally I come in with something stupid to make her laugh but with this one I thought she needed something serious and challenging. So I wrote to her and tried to tell her about herself based on the clues from her profile. It worked and she replied- she agreed with a lot of the stuff. Great. 2nd message, I went overboard with it. Her profile had a lot of shit about how she terrifies men and how they run away from her cause they're commitmentphobes but also that she attracts assholes. So I decided to challenge that whole frame she was setting up of being dominant. I essentially said she puts on a hard shell but i could tell she's just a vulnerable pussycat inside. WELL. She didn't like that! She wrote a massive rant saying how she was abused in a past relationship and how people are jerks etc etc. I remember in Double Yr Dating it talks about confronting women with their inner selves and how, if you do it, you better be prepared for personality meltdown. I guess this was a case of that. I was tempted to apologize but instead I wrote: "Wow, that was intense! I had nothing to do with your abusive relationship so don't even start laying that guilt shit on me. I am only responding to the information YOU have put in the public domain. If you don't like the perception you give people, that's not my fault either. The fact is, I'm not a jerk. I'm an intelligent, funny, honest, creative guy with a hell of a lot more to offer than the 95% of guys on here who just wanna get laid. I can't waste any more time on someone who refuses to have a sense of humour about this internet dating thing, which is inherently silly. Good luck' A week passes. Today she messaged me again, two lines: "I unblocked you, so you can say you're sorry" Haha! She re-established contact! Plus she had another look at my profile. That has to be an IOI right? So, what should I do here- cut her off because she seems a bit nuts. Or continue with the dominant frame and see what happens? I'm mostly interested as an experiment because normally I would instantly apologise and tell the girl how great she is blah blah blah. Any advice? |
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| Author: | Eric Lercara [ Sun Jun 27, 2010 11:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
This girl obviously has issues. You are willing to look past her looks and see that this person is not worth spending time with. That is a good thing to be able to recognize. Many guys will only see her looks and place her value above them based on looks alone. I don't think you want to play dominant here. If you are trying to get used to maintaining 'power' in a relationship, then this is not a good place to practice that. For power (the healthy kind) to exist, there has to be mutual attraction and investment. Here you are just two strangers who happened to cross paths. She won't respect your attempts at dominance because she hasn't invested in you. The best thing you can do, in my opinion, is to practice being non-reactive to her emotional outbursts. Practice letting it fall off you like nothing even happened. That is the kind of strength all women are looking for; so far, this girl has not met men who possess that strength - or she wouldn't be in the position she is in today. |
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| Author: | Lysander [ Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks Eric, You're probably right. I don't really want to practice dominance and, as I said in my original post, I'm tempted just not to reply. I guess the main thing that interests me here is that where normally in life I would have backed down and apologised to avoid conflict, here I decided to try a different tactic. I didn't expect to hear back from her again but now she's re-opening the conversation. So the question, for experiment's sake, is how do you recover a situation with a girl and take it from conflict to attraction. I'm gonna go do some reading and see what the experts say... Thanks again |
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| Author: | Dr. Beat [ Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Just reply with "lol." Show that bitch what's up. |
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| Author: | Eric Lercara [ Tue Jun 29, 2010 1:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
No problem. By the way, the best way to challenge a frame is to remain completely non-reactive to it. Any kind of reaction just validates their frame. |
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| Author: | Asserter [ Tue Jun 29, 2010 8:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Dr. Beat hit the nail on the head. So use either his suggestion, or cut her off completely (don't reply). The chick has issues, no point trying to waste your time playing therapist, you have better things to do. |
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| Author: | sapphire [ Wed Jul 14, 2010 2:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
"I unblocked you, so you can say you're sorry" "OK, I'm sorry for being so intruiging that you couldnt keep away from me , anyway ... "
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