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Convo Problem For Newbie
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Author:  delacroce [ Sun Sep 09, 2007 5:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Convo Problem For Newbie

Hey. I'm 31 yo and new to the community. I need your help with pulling women. Here's my issue: I am above average in the looks area - an 8 - dress with style and when I'm at the club, women stare and whisper and such. Problem is that when I go over and start talking to them, my convo's usually go something like this:

I approach.
Delacroce: Hey. What's hap'n.
HB: Hi. (with smile)
Delacroce: You enjoying yourself?
HB: A little bit. But it's a lot of young people in here. Feels like high school.
Delacroce: Well, how old are you?
HB: 26
Delacroce: You don't look your age...
HB (quickly): Well, thank you. (still smiling)
Delacroce: You look like you're about 42. (my attempt at funny)
HB: lol. Really?
Delacroce: Just teasing. What's your name?
HB: I'm Rachel. (offering the hand)
Delacroce: Hey. I'm Steve. (we shake hands)
Delacroce: Rachel, it's a little loud in here. Let's go over here so I can hear you better.
Rachel: Maybe later. But, it was nice meeting you.
Delacroce: laugh. Ok, nice meeting you too. (a little irritated at the blowoff and walk away)

My frustration is that if I am being "undressed" with stares and stuff, why am I getting resistance? I know women focus on personality more than looks, and I communicate with pauses, good eye contact, and don't smile too much when I talk to them. I also have to project my voice a little bit due to the loud music.

What am I doing wrong? Can someone break this down for me? It seems like because I'm a different above average looking guy, women expect me to say "above average" stuff or recite poems or something. I hear other dudes (5's) saying the same things with the same delivery but are not getting the blowoff. Do women elevate their expectation of my game due to my looks? In other words, if he's an 8, he should say level 8 stuff. ?? This is a BIG frustration for me that comes up repeatedly!!

I'm not shy but also not extremely outgoing. I'm more of the cool, mysterious, laid back type of guy (think Bruce Willis).

Big thanks to all advice!!

Author:  deadman [ Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:13 am ]
Post subject: 

here's wot yr doin wrong: posting in da wrong section

Author:  Titan [ Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:24 am ]
Post subject: 

You didn't offer her anything interesting.

Author:  EvoJ [ Mon Sep 10, 2007 1:59 pm ]
Post subject: 

Okay, first (yes this is in the wrong section.)

Second. Instead of saying "You look like your 42" Say something like Thats quite an assumption there, thinking that I was going to say younger."

But even if this isn't your style, thats okay. The one thing you need to do is when you say "You look like your 42." do it with a really big smile so that she KNOWS your kidding.

Don't SAY "Just teasing". IT sounds like an apology. You just met her, you don't want to be apologizing so quickly. Makes you look like a wuss/no confidence.

She laughed, she KNOWS you are teasing, no reason to tell her.

If you do want to make sure she knows your teasing then instead of saying "Just Teasing" you could say "Relax, when I'm around these youngins I get worried about breakin my own hip." This associates her with your "Age group" and she will probably ask how old you are.


Also, Don't as her name. You don't need to know it yet and if you get her real interested she will ask you.

Next, when you try to isolate her Don't say "So I can hear you better" instead say "So that we can actually hear each other." Your statement implies that YOU are having a problem. The new statement implies that you both are having it and you have the solution.

Oh yes, and build attraction a bit more before you try to pull her over into a dark corner.

Ask her things like "So, why are you here? Chaparoning these youngins?"

Or even better, explain why YOU are there and end it with a open-ended SPAM.

Hope this helps.

EvoJ

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