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| HELP! Rate my Profile and First Message https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=63737 |
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| Author: | ConstantTraveller [ Thu Mar 11, 2010 10:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | HELP! Rate my Profile and First Message |
Hey guys, I'm putting my balls to the wall and need help. this is a link to my POF profile: http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile ... d=16380335 and I'd like some advice on where it's weak or needs to be improved. Be blunt. I'm starting to get compliments from the girls who do reply but any help or advice is always appreciated. My first message - it's always a fuck-up for me. I have the worst reply ratios on the planet so I'm not even going to put up what I write. Can anybody suggest a first message format or a set of rules/principles I can apply to get some replies for once? Thanks in advance for any constructive criticism! |
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| Author: | salsero77 [ Thu Mar 11, 2010 3:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Just looked at your profile, it's actually not bad, but there are a couple grammar mistakes around the end... If you are sending messages that have poor grammar that could be one of the reasons why you are getting low responses. If I were you I'd lose the first date stuff because that sounds kind of wussy... but that's just my opinion. I'd take the last part of what you don't want in the first date section and move it to the main section because it's kind of funny. Hope this helps... |
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| Author: | Smartbomb [ Sat Mar 13, 2010 3:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Boring boring boring. Started off ok, had some potential, but as soon as I got to the panel van and accountant part I stopped reading. I had to go back and force myself to finish. Be entertaining. Push people's envelopes. Challenge their assumptions. Be unique! Be sexual! Your profile is pretty much like everyone else's. How will it stand out? If I'm a woman and I'm reading 10+ profiles a day, why would I stop at yours? It's not cocky-playful. It's not alpha. It's not even remotely sexual. The first date section is OK. It's a little trite. The images are good but there are too many of them. I'd pick the strongest one and ramp up the sexuality without overtly saying you're going to ass-rape her in the toilet behind the flower shop. Describe a first kiss, describe some of those first-contact kino escalations. Flip her relationship switches. Your picture is good but it doesn't display social proof. Put up pictures that show YOU are the center of attention. Keep your portrait but you want some group shots too. The glasses are ok but take a shot without them so a girl can see what your face looks like. Girls need to see your face in order to gain trust. Don't look smug in all your portraits. Make sure you have at least one shot where you are clearly and authentically smiling and having a good time. You DLV'd yourself a bit. For example: What I read: "I used to run my own business running a comedy troop in Australia but since coming back to work in the city I've started with an accountancy firm. " What I remembered: "I used to be cool but now I'm doing something much less interesting because I was a failure." Be EXCELLENT in everything you say. Don't self-deprecate on the internet. Don't share details of yourself that aren't 100% alpha and can't be spun into a DHV. Exude total confidence, even at the risk of sounding like an asshole. I've had plenty of women talk with me and admit that "at first you sounded like a total jerk but you're really a very fun guy." My explanation: Not everything on the internet is exactly as it seems, and sometimes one has to shout REALLY LOUD over the mountain of morons. Most of the time they say something like "you're completely unique. I've never talked with anyone like you." Never describe your ideal girl. Just set the bar high and let them self-select. For instance, you could say it as simply as "I only date very beautiful women. If you're not an "8" or above, I'm not interested." This will do two things. The fatties/uglies are immediately out. Also, the chicks with low self-esteem will melt away. The ones who are most up for the game are going to sense this as a challenge. Some girls who are not "8"s will reply anyway. These are the closet party girls. They zelig, meaning they will party if there's a party, but left to their own devices they're probably pretty quiet because they constantly recalibrate their personality to the settings. Show them a good time with obvious sexuality and you can go all the way with these girls, sometimes the first time you meet them. Summary: Be excellent Be cocky-playful (entertaining) Be alpha/confident Be sexual Don't DLV Don't self-deprecate Show social proof |
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