| PUA Forum https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/ |
|
| Bring on the critics!! https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=41462 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | LondonLatino30 [ Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | Bring on the critics!! |
Hi all, I've posted the following on a London dating site, Anywant fancy coming up with some (constructive) critics? 3 things I could not live without Music, internet and books A bit about me... A bit of a character and a very passionate guy, thankfully I have come to the realisation that my mission in life is to make good friends and have as much fun as possible. I was born in a South American country (will tell you later) and completelly felt in Love with London which have been my home for the past 6 years. I am generally in to good music, gigs and crazy nights in East London, but also like to relax and stay at home every now and then. Best thing about London The variety, the restaurants and the fact that it is the city with more interesting people per square meter in the world. Five words to describe London... Intense, huge, cosmopolitan, interesting and adictive I am hoping to meet... Friends first at all and interesting people I can share nice things with, I like going to festivals, gigs, arts exhibitions etc. My guests (living or dead, actual people or fictional characters) to the ultimate dinner party would include... Jimmi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Andy Warhol and Kate Moss. My ideal date would be (e.g. candlelit dinner) A dinner in a funky unusual restaurant and then dancing the night away until the morning to end up jumping in a lake with a bottle of champagne laughting out loud. Worst thing about London Commuting, fortunately I can walk to work. more details After First Date Peck on cheek Body Type Athletic Drink? Regularly Education University Ethnicity Latino / Hispanic Eye Color Brown Favourite Flirting Ground In the Laundrette Favourite Read Economist Hair Color Black Height 6ft - 6ft3 Hobbies Art, Cinema, Clubbing, Cooking, Live Music, Music, Reading, Relaxing!, Travelling, Writing I enjoy visiting London Parks, Nat. History Museum, The Barbican, The British Library Lived in London Last few years London cool starts... North of the river Religion Pagan Smoke? Every day Star sign Scorpio |
|
| Author: | nightrider767 [ Sat Mar 14, 2009 11:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Dude,,, I think it needs some work. I found it flat and "wordy". Are you really a latin guy inside? I grew up in Miami and have many hispanic friends. One thing I know about latin men, like the women, they are very in touch with the passinate side of life. So show some more passion for life in your post. Here's one of the few things that I really liked about your post. Don't get the wrong idea, you had plenty of descent stuff. But this: Quote: My ideal date would be (e.g. candlelit dinner)
A dinner in a funky unusual restaurant and then dancing the night away until the morning to end up jumping in a lake with a bottle of champagne laughting out loud. That shows 2 things. SOme passion for life that can generate attraction,, and some polishing that needs to be done on the whole thing. A problem with guys is that they'll just write a bunch of stuff. But you should be creating "visializations" that will spark an interest. Get rid of dinner in a funky unnusual restruant. Ditch it. Now sit back and envision an actual restruant. See it. Is it a Morocan hide-away? Are you sitting on the floor on cushions feeding eachother middle eastern delicasies? Is the room dimley lit with oil lamps? Whatever it is. Describe it. You say Disco. Do you really have a level ten disco in mind? Name it. Sneaking off to a lake for morning champaign drinking and skinny dipping in the wee hours of the morning, shows you get it. So bring more of that on. One other thing I did not find is much, if any, witty humor. That's is something you always want a bit of. The first couple of pages on any book are the hardest to get through. Just like the one page of our profiles. So help them out. Add some humer. Put a smile on their puss. Good luck |
|
| Author: | LondonLatino30 [ Mon Mar 16, 2009 1:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Hey NR, Thanks for the feedback, definetily will take it on board, and yes I am a real Latino living in the UK, but at the moment I am struggling to show my real personality which I know it's great and that is the reason why I got in the game, it's been a couple of months and I am already seeing some progress but the road is slow an though. Cheers, Daniel |
|
| Author: | jurupa [ Wed Mar 18, 2009 9:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
LondonLatino30 - Besides that I also found it long. I also found it to be boring as well. It had no life in it. Your profile also came across as a "stat" page about you and not as a profile about you. I think if you made it more lively and use paragraphs instead of laying things out it will help you a lot. |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|