STEP ONE: COMPOSING THE AD

It goes against all logic, but the best profile is one in which you are a TOTAL ASSHOLE. The first line of my profile is: I'm a selfish prick. THEN I go on to describe my looks and physique. FINALLY, I tell them that I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks. I do what I want when I want. (Most of this is from Lovedrop, so I'm only paraphrasing in case he doesn't want it posted.)

Everything in the profile is designed to make me seem like a choosy selfish asshole seducer. My tagline, adapted from Zan, is: "Run away, little girl."

Finally, for the coup de grace, is something adapted from Gamemaster. When I describe what I'm looking for, I say, "If I had to write a newspaper personal, it would read something like this…" Then I go on to describe, somewhat facetiously, that I'm a well-hung sexually talented stud looking for a married woman who wants to make her husband jealous in order to procure expensive gifts from him."

Again, you can figure out your own wording. If you're really retarded and need it spelled out, let me know and I'll consider posting a link to my profile.

For the picture, I don't post an actual photo. I post a SKETCH someone has done of me. If you don't have a friend with art skills, just get a sketch of yourself done by a street sketch artist or at a comic convention or something. This way, girls looking for profiles with photos will come across your profile, but at the same time, you'll be able to hook them with your personality before they can just disqualify you as not being their type.

Often, girls will write me just to ask, "Are you for real?" because my profile is so outlandish.