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Tinder advice - who can solve this?
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Author:  Spanishrocket [ Tue Sep 29, 2015 7:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Tinder advice - who can solve this?
Ok, so here is the story. I think I have messed up with a girl I have been talking to on Tinder for a while. Your advice would be great.

We were supposed to meet when she came back from London, so I sent her a message on Saturday. She replied promptly and said she had a hangover, so we carried on chatting for a while until I met with a few friends, and did not get back to her until the next day in the afternoon.

On Sunday, the next day, I tried again to meet up. When I asked her about going for a drink, she responded that we should meet in a Sauna as she was going there in the evening. Saunas are popular in Prague, but I felt that being naked with other people around was kind of strange for a first meeting (I have met girls through tinder who came straight to my house for sex and didn't feel weird about it).

Anyway, as I didn't think she was on Tinder for a hook up and/or she was serious about it or if she was just testing me, I responded something a little lame, along the lines of, "Sauna? That's how two of my gay friends met up their partners", which is true. She responded that at least that way "you avoid any disappointments".

My response was that I would have a shower and come an collect her (trying to take the lead). She answered: "no no no, I have changed my mind."

So my final reply to her was: "I meant for a drink so you can go to your sauna later." Then I added, "honestly, I don't think you are that interested about meeting up. I am old enough to know that it should be a lot easier".

Not sure this last bit was very clever, since I was basically prompting her to prove me right. So no surprises when I got no reply from her.

Anyway, what do you think? Anything I can do to get back on track or like I normally do in these cases, I delete her and move on?

Bear in mind, I kinda of like this girl unlike the many I have met online.
Author:  Dragula [ Tue Sep 29, 2015 8:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tinder advice - who can solve this?
She is flaking you each time.

Next time, take her offer of sauna, better than nothing, right? I have a gut feeling she was tooling you though because I agree, who would have a 1st date like that?
Quote:
"honestly, I don't think you are that interested about meeting up. I am old enough to know that it should be a lot easier".
So needy, but she lost interest WAY before this anyway.

Seek out other options
Author:  Spanishrocket [ Tue Sep 29, 2015 8:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tinder advice - who can solve this?
I was not on the top of my game with this one. It's kinda typical when you like a girl that extra bit.

But I agree with you on every point. In reality, I knew it was like that, just felt like having a confirmation.

Girl unmatched. Should be forgotten in couple of days.
Author:  ealltech [ Wed Dec 16, 2015 8:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tinder advice - who can solve this?
Anyway, as I didn't think she was on Tinder for a hook up and/or she was serious about it or if she was just testing me, I responded something a little lame, along the lines of, "Sauna? That's how two of my gay friends met up their partners", which is true. She responded that at least that way "you avoid any disappointments".

She is flaking you each time.

Next time, take her offer of sauna, better than nothing, right? I have a gut feeling she was tooling you though because I agree, who would have a 1st date like that?
Author:  spacco [ Sun Dec 27, 2015 6:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tinder advice - who can solve this?
It does sound a bit strange place for a first date. Anyhow I would say take a break from her (Freeze Out). She might even re-engage you. Find some other prospects and then come back and revisit. That should by default take a bit of the neediness and outcome dependance out of the equation which happens to everyone. And may help to recover the situation.
Author:  199Flags [ Sun Jan 10, 2016 12:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tinder advice - who can solve this?
My first question was the chat taking place inside Tinder or through texts? If it was just a Tinder chat there is really nothing to solve here.

If you were texting yes that last bit you need to learn to avoid comments like that. Girls get turned off fast when they can see a guy feels unworthy or flustered. She may come back around see how it plays out. If she is leaving you mine as well give it one more shot in a few days before she leaves.
Author:  Chef89 [ Thu Jan 21, 2016 8:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tinder advice - who can solve this?
Quote:
Ok, so here is the story. I think I have messed up with a girl I have been talking to on Tinder for a while.
I stopped reading here.

Man, why worry about messing up with a girl on Tinder? It's a pure numbers game. It could be that her grandpa died, maybe her dog took a shit on her bed, maybe she got distracted by the 10 other guys that talk to her on Tinder. I mess up with 60 - 70% of the girls on Tinder and still I can go out with a girl from Tinder every weekend if I want to.

Point is, don't even worry about messing up. If she doesnt react the way you want, move on. You cannot control it.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tinder advice - who can solve this?
My fav transition out of texting or talking and into real life is:

"So my dear, are we getting a drink or are we keeping this relationship virtual?"

Forces an answer - let's you know immediately where you stand, and is playful. Win-win-win.
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