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Tinder convo went cold! Why?!
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=187397		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  SkippyASW [ Sun Jan 25, 2015 7:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Tinder convo went cold! Why?!
Cheers guys!
So I got a match on Tinder with a 8,5HB. These is the following convo. What did I do so wrong and how can I reverse this?

Me: 6 miles away? I think Tinder put us in the same neighbourhood haha
HB8: Quite possible :))
Me: By your sophisticated look, I'd say you're from (name of some area)
Or maybe my masculine intuition isn't at its best!
HB8: Nope :)))
Sophisticated?
Hell noo
(name of her area)
Me: Reserved smile, hair worn on left side, misterious gaze, these scream sophisticated from miles away :))
HB8: :)))
I never smile in pictures :))
But most of the time I'm a giggling machine
My misterious look is from the alcohol, but also I'm the most misterious woman around haha
Me: So a misterious smiley woman with impecable taste in cocktails? :))
HB8: :))
Absolutely
I always choose the best bottle of Rum
Me: And how many coke bottles go with that rum? :)
HB8: As much as i can find around :)))
Me: And then you get grumpy with the hot men that approach you with "hey babe, whats up?" :))
HB8: :)))
That night i was with my harem... my best male friend and another 3 guys
And women would rather had to ask my permision to talk to them haha
Me: Do you always need bodyguards?
Trouble whenever you go out? hahaha
HB: :)))
No, not really
Me: So did you have to pick women for each one of them that night?
HB: :))) No
They're grown-up cowboys
Me: Why do I have a feeling that you're trouble? haha :)
HB: Trouble?
Why am I trouble?
Please explain
Me: To be honest, I don't like shy or too nice type a women, so you're safe :)
HB: But i am nice :)
However not shy
Me: Nice? I dont believe what woman say when we first talk, so you'd better ask 10-15 friends to confirm that in writting hahaha
HB: :))) Cmon
Me: Fine, smiley, misterious and on the top of that nice! Got it!
HB: :)))
Me: Two brownie points so far haha
HB: No need to be ironic
Or imma switch to the real mean selfish bitch i really am
Me: It does take a cute, mean, wild with a romantic side bitch, to get my compliments :)
HB: :) Compliments?
It takes a huge amount of effort to combine all those elements in one stunning personality and all she gets is a compliment? :)))
Yeah...she'd better pass
Me: We haven't gotten to the hot kiss on the neck that truly reflects our personality... yet :)))
For now, just turning some pages haha
HB: :)))
Either way...its not a good deal
Me: Well... thank god i always like a good challenge! :))
HB: Oh..please... be my guest
Its not a good start though


So? Advide appreciated. Thx!
Author:  detox75 [ Sun Jan 25, 2015 7:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tinder convo went cold! Why?!
I didn't even read through all of this, but first and foremost it is way too much back and forth without planning a meet up. At some point you are just building rapport instead of attraction and your window of opportunity closes.
Author:  SkippyASW [ Sun Jan 25, 2015 7:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tinder convo went cold! Why?!
Quote:
I didn't even read through all of this, but first and foremost it is way too much back and forth without planning a meet up. At some point you are just building rapport instead of attraction and your window of opportunity closes.
Plan a meet-up? I usually just get their number through this sort of phone application. And then push for the meet.
But I think you're also right, I tend to focus too much on building rapport than on attraction. But their lenghty response is a way of telling that they're into me. Isn't that equivalent with attraction?
Author:  detox75 [ Sun Jan 25, 2015 8:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tinder convo went cold! Why?!
No,

Even if you have the best PUA rap and routine in the world you are losing attraction by non-stop texts and writing. So while a lot of new guys focus on great content, which is important, you are undermining all your great work by being too available, texting too much, responding too fast, and not escalating correctly. So whilst the content sets one frame, your availability and chattiness sends the exact opposite message.

I read through all your texts and you should have gotten her offline about 30-40% through that thread. You were too solicitous and gave her the entire frame. Don't make the convo all about her, it's push-pull: about her, about you, humorous aside, more about you - make her chase more.
Author:  SkippyASW [ Sun Jan 25, 2015 8:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tinder convo went cold! Why?!
Quote:
No,

Even if you have the best PUA rap and routine in the world you are losing attraction by non-stop texts and writing. So while a lot of new guys focus on great content, which is important, you are undermining all your great work by being too available, texting too much, responding too fast, and not escalating correctly. So whilst the content sets one frame, your availability and chattiness sends the exact opposite message.

I read through all your texts and you should have gotten her offline about 30-40% through that thread. You were too solicitous and gave her the entire frame. Don't make the convo all about her, it's push-pull: about her, about you, humorous aside, more about you - make her chase more.

You're right, I do tend to focus more on her... I guess my AFC ways come in more often than I expect.
Also it could be the fact that usually when men don't talk about them, women tend not to be as responsive. But I guess that leads back to the level of attraction!
Do you have any suggestion of how can I can reverse my situation? Thx mate!
Author:  detox75 [ Sun Jan 25, 2015 8:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tinder convo went cold! Why?!
Dude I've been at this game a very long time and have busted my ass to get pretty good at it. Having said that I still have to be very deliberate and I still tend to make AFC mistakes if I'm not intentional. Its like heroin addiction, you may effectively beat it but the AFC beast inside will always be there and need to be tended to. As long as your willing to listen and work hard you will keep advancing. I see about 80% of new guys on this site fail because they wont listen, take advice, or work hard. So you have a great attitude.

To address your question, it's a great one. Your asking one of the three most important things in PUA, how to attract a woman without supplicating or soliciting her. The thing is to understand how a woman determines value. The easy AFC route is to give her attention, compliments, supplication, positive feelings, and be solicitous in order to receive attention. While this AFC technique works to garner attention it fails to generate attraction, Boom welcome to the friend zone. This is what David DeAngelo aptly called "trying to trade status for approval, its a deal that a woman don't like and will never accept" basically It appears to work but it never does.

The best way to avoid this sticky and difficult situation is to use good "framing" and understand DHV. Once you realize how to properly frame an interaction with woman and demonstrate equal to higher value then problem fixes itself, also these are the two vehicles for attraction. And, of course, you have to be willing to walk away when things don't break your way, and they often wont break your way. This secondary problem is solved by abundance. Ok I can write 15 pages on just this question but it is a deep one. I Hope that was helpful
Author:  Dragula [ Sun Jan 25, 2015 9:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tinder convo went cold! Why?!
Haven't read the replies, but the girl is giving you one word responses (not good) which means you should do some attraction stuff like busting her balls and then get her to invest. 'What do your friends say about you? the good and the bad.'

everytime you reply to her more than a one word yourself, you're losing man points.

This will get a deeper response, but she will not answer it if she isn't attracted. ATTRACT ~ QUALIFY
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