In fact I took action before reading your advices. Thanks for them btw. Especially the tip that I should not use txt message to ask girl out. So true. It’s much harder to decline on the phone. Also to reward a good behavior is good.
I asked her to meet me next weekend (txt messaged, mistake, I know now) and she replied that she is going to a festival with her friend. I texted her back that I don’t know if we’re moving on and that relationship’s don’t work from my side the way that I am the one that only contact’s to people. I led her to understand that I am kicking her out if it doesn’t change, but subtly. She said that she hasn’t done that even when she has been in relationships and is a little pessimistic about our living distance. Well.. later that evening she called and the day next she texted me, first. So she did something that she hasn’t done even with her boyfriends. A good sign I think? Never the less, I think she is smart and knows how to come towards in relationships. This is probably the main reason I am interested because I am “seeking” a mature woman.
The attraction started from her side. She commented on my profile publicly that if I ever would start traveling I should start there where she lives. She wants to get to know well before starting a relationship. She has a child.
I know that when I get to this phase it is just a matter of time that woman fall in love with me. I have definitely been myself the whole time. Not a pleaser. It is easy because she aren’t either. The problem still probably comes when it comes to showing feelings. She doesn’t use words of affirmation. Probably the main love languages for her is quality time and acts of service (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_Love_Languages). One of my main love languages is words of affirmation, so this is a conflict. Any tips for this? We have already discussed about the subject. Romantic word’s makes her feel sick.
Any tips that arise from what I wrote?
Just a bonus information here: We match perfectly via Helen Fishers theory about suitable partners. She is a “director”, I am a “negotiator”. Our MBTI- type also matches. I am INFJ and she is ENFP, one of the ideal. Her enneagram is type 8 and I am 6 – this doesn’t tell much, but these are one of the most common pairs to become in relationship. Her chinese horoscope is dragon and I am a rat, the year makes us the perfect match (she says), my horoscope is pisces and so is hers, water types comes along well and pisces are passionate together (this is also somewhat important to her, I rely more on science even when I also like nonsense
).
You're FAR too focused on how you can get this girl into a relationship. Again, like you need to win her or something.