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| My "About Me" on Badoo [Need Critique] https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=167473 |
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| Author: | Beetle [ Sun Aug 18, 2013 11:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | My "About Me" on Badoo [Need Critique] |
This is my "About Me" section on Badoo. I'm trying to get a girlfriend again, it's been too long. I think it's not bad, but I've been looking at it so long I don't even know what's good anymore, so read the whole thing and give me your thoughts. "I'm a man without harmful habits, doing physical work, having artistic tendencies, and working out regularly. I'm looking for a fan of films with a playful personality, a romantic soul, appreciative of humor, intelligent, well-read nice lady who would suck me off. In case I didn't scare you off with my strange humor, let me change the tone of the written word a bit more serious; I'm looking for a partner in crime for the summer and beyond, trying out cocktails, watching horror films, and doing other couples stuff. I have a positive attitude in my awesome life and there is always space for people with a similar attitude, so don't be afraid to come and chat regardless of your goals on this site." Edit: There is also a "My Ideal" section. Mine says "I love it when a woman has a pulse." |
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| Author: | TheFury [ Mon Aug 19, 2013 5:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: My "About Me" on Badoo [Need Critique] |
maybe this works in hungary but this is not good in my opinion ... (1) Don't talk about what you want in a woman. It adds no value. (2) Don't write suck me off, that is sleazy not funny (3) Try to add actual humor not just list your attributes, or do it in a funny way (4) partner in crime.. get rid of that, everyone says that (5) I would rework your profile entirely. Funny is good, but no direct sexual humor in the profile, it doesn't work that well. Talk less about what you want in a woman if at all, talk more about some of your good attributes without a long list, list a few things that are very different instead, like working out and art are two great things to list because they show balance in your life. |
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| Author: | Beetle [ Mon Aug 19, 2013 6:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: My "About Me" on Badoo [Need Critique] |
The joke flew over your head. It's the parody of the classic newspaper dating ad. The joke is along the lines of "hopeless romantic seeks filthy whore". |
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| Author: | TheFury [ Mon Aug 19, 2013 7:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: My "About Me" on Badoo [Need Critique] |
Quote: The joke flew over your head. It's the parody of the classic newspaper dating ad. The joke is along the lines of "hopeless romantic seeks filthy whore".
If it flew over my head...got news for you, it won't work. I got it, but it didn't come off as funny is my point.
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| Author: | Beetle [ Mon Aug 19, 2013 7:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: My "About Me" on Badoo [Need Critique] |
From the way you criticized it, it didn't seem like you recognized it as a joke. I'll rework it, though. Edit: There we go. I wrote it in the few minutes between posting and editing this comment. Kept it short this time. Should I write more about myself as a person, or should I just let it speak for itself? "I work, I work out, and whenever I can, I draw, everything from nudes to animation. I listen to metal and classic rock, and watch movies with snacks and cocktails. So yeah, my life's awesome, but there is always space for more good things!" |
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| Author: | TheFury [ Mon Aug 19, 2013 8:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: My "About Me" on Badoo [Need Critique] |
Quote: From the way you criticized it, it didn't seem like you recognized it as a joke.
I would take out the drawing of nudes (replace that with something else) .. that looks better to me. a bit short and lacking some humor but short is better than weird and long.
I'll rework it, though. Edit: There we go. I wrote it in the few minutes between posting and editing this comment. Kept it short this time. Should I write more about myself as a person, or should I just let it speak for itself? "I work, I work out, and whenever I can, I draw, everything from nudes to animation. I listen to metal and classic rock, and watch movies with snacks and cocktails. So yeah, my life's awesome, but there is always space for more good things!" |
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| Author: | Beetle [ Wed Aug 21, 2013 3:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: My "About Me" on Badoo [Need Critique] |
I improved it a bit. "I work, I work out, and whenever I can, I draw; I listen to symphonic metal and classic rock; I watch movies in the original English with some snacks and cocktails I made myself; I try out new things, because that's always worth it. You guessed it, life is awesome over here, but as I learned, there is always space for more good things." |
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