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Today I was remembering this weird experience that happened to me about 2 or 3 years ago, and I thought I would share it, partially to ask what you guys think (What do you think about this? Has anyone ever done this before?) and maybe partially as a warning sign (Don’t do what this guy did.) So here goes:
About 2 years ago, I was doing online dating, and I came across this guy’s profile (pretty sure it was on eHarmony). He seemed clever and witty, really outgoing and extroverted.
He had this one line in his profile that I particularly liked- I can’t remember exactly how it went, but it was something like, “Beauty is common, so a girl has to have something extra about her to impress me.” I thought that was a nice sentiment, especially after reading profile after profile of shallow physical descriptions guys wanted. I was horrified when I talked to one guy on the phone and he told me that if any girl he was dating ever exceeded 130 pounds, that was grounds to dump her on the spot. He claimed he was joking, but I couldn’t delete his number fast enough. So in contrast, that line about beauty being common seemed refreshingly unsuperficial.
We talked on the phone, and the first thing I was immediately struck by was how different he seemed from his profile. He seemed shy, a little nerdy, introspective and thoughtful. Kind of socially awkward, not anything close to the confident, outgoing guy in his profile.
I talked to him on the phone a couple times, trying to catch a glimpse of the guy I had seen online, but no luck. He was interested in meeting up in person, but I wasn’t, so things ended right there.
…Until maybe 2 or 3 months later when I was reading The Pickup Artist and recognized the same words on the page as words I had read months earlier. Word for word, exact quotes. I was shocked. Here were my general thoughts:
1. That is so fucking messed up. I’m really pissed off! I want to slap this guy across the face!
2. What a desperate, pathetic loser that his own personality is so bad, he has to imitate someone elses.
3. So that explains why he was completely different over the phone!
I actually ended up sending him a couple nasty texts and then deleting his number.
MUCH later, I got a text from an unknown number. I asked who it was. He wouldn’t tell me who it was until he had played this whole “guess who I am” game with me for ten minutes. I think it was his way of feeling powerful and in-control, and a way to get me to talk to him. And then when he finally revealed his name, I couldn’t remember who he was at first. Anyway, he told me that I was basically a bitch because at the time I had sent my mean texts, his dad had been in the hospital with a stroke. I apologized for the timing but not for being angry about what he did. To my surprise, he completely defended himself, saying that even though he had gotten the ideas from The Pick Up Artist, he still believed in everything he had written and it was no different from “quoting your favorite line from a book.”
Anyway, I never talked to him again, though I saved his number until I got a new phone so I could ignore any future texts from him.
Any thoughts? Would you guys ever do something like that? HAVE you guys ever done something like that before? Do you think he was justified? You could say that because he got a phone call out of it, he succeeded in “gaming” me. But it didn’t end up working out for him.
Thanks. Looking forward to hearing any thoughts!
About 2 years ago, I was doing online dating, and I came across this guy’s profile (pretty sure it was on eHarmony). He seemed clever and witty, really outgoing and extroverted.
He had this one line in his profile that I particularly liked- I can’t remember exactly how it went, but it was something like, “Beauty is common, so a girl has to have something extra about her to impress me.” I thought that was a nice sentiment, especially after reading profile after profile of shallow physical descriptions guys wanted. I was horrified when I talked to one guy on the phone and he told me that if any girl he was dating ever exceeded 130 pounds, that was grounds to dump her on the spot. He claimed he was joking, but I couldn’t delete his number fast enough. So in contrast, that line about beauty being common seemed refreshingly unsuperficial.
We talked on the phone, and the first thing I was immediately struck by was how different he seemed from his profile. He seemed shy, a little nerdy, introspective and thoughtful. Kind of socially awkward, not anything close to the confident, outgoing guy in his profile.
I talked to him on the phone a couple times, trying to catch a glimpse of the guy I had seen online, but no luck. He was interested in meeting up in person, but I wasn’t, so things ended right there.
…Until maybe 2 or 3 months later when I was reading The Pickup Artist and recognized the same words on the page as words I had read months earlier. Word for word, exact quotes. I was shocked. Here were my general thoughts:
1. That is so fucking messed up. I’m really pissed off! I want to slap this guy across the face!
2. What a desperate, pathetic loser that his own personality is so bad, he has to imitate someone elses.
3. So that explains why he was completely different over the phone!
I actually ended up sending him a couple nasty texts and then deleting his number.
MUCH later, I got a text from an unknown number. I asked who it was. He wouldn’t tell me who it was until he had played this whole “guess who I am” game with me for ten minutes. I think it was his way of feeling powerful and in-control, and a way to get me to talk to him. And then when he finally revealed his name, I couldn’t remember who he was at first. Anyway, he told me that I was basically a bitch because at the time I had sent my mean texts, his dad had been in the hospital with a stroke. I apologized for the timing but not for being angry about what he did. To my surprise, he completely defended himself, saying that even though he had gotten the ideas from The Pick Up Artist, he still believed in everything he had written and it was no different from “quoting your favorite line from a book.”
Anyway, I never talked to him again, though I saved his number until I got a new phone so I could ignore any future texts from him.
Any thoughts? Would you guys ever do something like that? HAVE you guys ever done something like that before? Do you think he was justified? You could say that because he got a phone call out of it, he succeeded in “gaming” me. But it didn’t end up working out for him.
Thanks. Looking forward to hearing any thoughts!
A lot of the guys on here are like that. It's part of the problem you see here (and the main reason I don't hang around here so much), too many guys don't realize what really matters and merely try to immitate others in hopes of getting laid rather than getting in touch with themselves and understanding what women truly seek.
Anyway, I can understand your sentiment, and yeah, the guy hopefully learned a thing or two about being genuine from his exp (though I doubt it). However, you shouldn't have lashed out at him like that. Yeah, he's a liar, and a loser, but you should have tried to understand the reason he did it. A lot of the guys on here have serious self-esteem issues, and your little act probably didn't help.
Anyway, my advice would be to not seek dates in online dating sites, you likely won't find anyone worthwhile. Likewise, you shouldn't be so quick to judge people as losers cause they're introverted. I'm an introvert myself, but I'm far from being a 'loser.'
In fact, you seem to be more of an extrovert, perhaps you should pay more attention to the quieter guys, they might be a better match for you, just my two cents.
And no, I'm not hitting on you, honestly, I'm not interested (no offense). Not all the guys on here are here to merely try and get laid, there are a rare few of us who seek something more wholesome...
