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Is this a good opener?
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Author:  jbeannie05 [ Fri Jun 14, 2013 1:31 am ]
Post subject:  Is this a good opener?
I said

What music is good here?

girl said

well, what kind of music do you like?

I said.

I like a lot of different music.

She said

Do you like punk, rock, metal?

I said

I like all of those

she later said

I like this band black veil brides. If you haven't gone to vans warped tour, you could buy this cd.

She told me what cds were new at hot topic

I later went back into hot topic and said to her

It's not easy for guys like me to have confidence because of how beautiful you are

girl said

O your so sweet

I said

Well I got to go, but it was nice to meet you

she said

have a good day

SO did I do good or bad?
Author:  Booty Book [ Sat Jun 15, 2013 6:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this a good opener?
Bad...

Talking about music is like talking about the weather. Unless its a genuine conversation which at first is sounded like it was. In my opinion you killed it when you came back and told her your lower than her because of her beauty. "Guys like me". Get your confidence up and don;t worry about what they or you look like.

All good, people are like ants you have long time and many people to learn with. Good luck brotha.
Author:  jbeannie05 [ Sat Jun 15, 2013 6:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this a good opener?
What should I of said?
Author:  Profile Diva [ Sun Jun 16, 2013 11:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this a good opener?
Not great!

From a woman's POV a guys talking in general about anything (i.e. what kind of music do you like?) is a guy who is just fishing to start a conversation, not a guy who is actually confident and has something to talk about. A better way would have been to ask if she likes something specific (i.e. a type of music or a band).

Also, the bit about it being hard for a guy like you is an absolute buzz kill. Total lack of confidence, and while it's nice to give a girl a compliment on how she looks, you don't have to put yourself down doing it.

Another tip in how to compliment a woman is to pick out something specific that you like (her shoes, dress, hair, ring, watch...whatever) and say, "Hey, I really like your ring. It suits you". Women spend a lot of time choosing what to wear and how to look, and they appreciate when a man notices. You're really telling her she's done a good job at being an attractive, which is something we all like to hear.

Best of luck!
Author:  jbeannie05 [ Sun Jun 16, 2013 7:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this a good opener?
So should I of said.

What bands do you like?

Should I say something about liking her short hair?

I don't know if I smile when talking to a girl. I don't know if I close my lips when I talk. I don't know how to be charming. Should I be standing a certain way. Should I tilt my head? Should I smile for a certain amount of seconds? I don't know what her body language says. I don't know if I'm giving off good body language. I don't know when to raise my eyebrows.
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Sun Jun 16, 2013 7:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this a good opener?
Quote:

Talking about music is like talking about the weather.

This is 100% true.

And another thing, get off the topic of your "opener" as quickly as you can. It shows that you are trying to hold onto a dying interaction. Example... the guy in the park who says he likes a girls dog and all he can think of for conversation is stuff relating to the dog. The girl will figure out very quickly that you are just trying to keep a shitty conversation alive.
Author:  Booty Book [ Sun Jun 16, 2013 8:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this a good opener?
Maybe it sounds like this problem is a little deeper. Would you consider yourself an awkward looking or acting male? There are plenty of things to do to spice up your appearance physically if that is the case. If you act awkward maybe its because your nervous or inexperienced.

Your asking questions like how to stand or where to raise your eyebrows etc but its not about that. Women are not stupid they know exactly whats going on in your head. You must be natural with what you do. For example when you get into a car everytime do you check your tires, your mirror, your lights and then consciously drive exactly in between the lines and stop exactly at the line or use your signals every turn you do? I would hope not, you should be experienced enough that you just go.

I posted on another topic with an exercise that helped me. I used to be like you and basically all you do is go through your day talking to everyone you can. No matter who they are or what they look like try to make conversation with random people you meet on the street, at work, at school, etc. All different ages, social classes, etc. Eventually you will learn about the different types of people that are out there and how to talk to them.
Author:  jbeannie05 [ Sun Jun 16, 2013 8:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this a good opener?
Yes I am awkward, nervous, and inexperienced. I know absolutely nothing when it comes to being social and I don't know body language. So what I say doesn't work pretty much 100% of the time. And I don't want to learn eventually. I haven't learned this stuff for 25 years. So I need all the help I can get on this stuff. So that's why I have to know a bunch of sentences. Or I'll talk about the same thing which is something I shouldn't do. So I know if I ask a girl. You're not a huge Beyonce fan, are you? She will say. Yes, no, or why. So I think it would help me to memorize what to say. And what she would say in advance. So like if she says yes, I say this. If she says no, I say this. If she says why, I say this. I want to do that. I don't want to learn crap on my own. I don't want to make crap up and see what happens. I want to know what will happen if I say something in advance. I haven't learned this crap for 25 years, so I am pretty sure I can't do this on my own. That is why I am on this website. I have no idea what to talk about when I talk to a girl. I don't know if anyone of you can get me a date. Also I don't have any money and I don't have a job so I can't pay you. And I don't think a lot of people like to help people for free which I kind of think is messed up.
Author:  Booty Book [ Sun Jun 16, 2013 9:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this a good opener?
But what if I told you women are not like computers where you can just program the result you want in. Unfortunately its not that easy to just say a sentence or two and now shes yours. Also when you sound like you rehearsed a line from a script they are not stupid, it comes off fake.

I know its hard to figure out what to say, and its even harder to explain how the art of conversation works. Please try my exercise, don;t be lazy and say you don;t want to do it. What you put into anything in life you will get back. A computer program doesn't write itself, it takes days and days and even more time to learn the language. People are not technical things they can't be controlled or predicted. Thats actually the fun part and thats why good conversation is interesting.

Tips for your conversation:

OPENING A CONVERSATION
-Hi im "bean", whats your name?
-Compliment something on her that's unique or interesting. (clothing or accessory, nothing physical) The less obvious it is (a ring, or cool bracelet) the more she will respect your statement. It shows you are actually taking notice of something small.
-Ask a question that makes sense to ask at the time. For example if your in class you can ask something about the upcoming test. If your at work you can ask something work related. At the bus stop you can ask about the bus route or times. etc
*Opening is the hardest for some people because they get nervous.

CARRYING A CONVERSATION
-Ask yourself an honest question. What am I genuinely interested to know about this person? You can be a dick and tell yourself I really don't want to know anything, because I don't care...I just want to fuck her...and if that's the case maybe you don't deserve to take this girl home or have a relationship with her because you have no respect. Remember she is human not a machine. A good girl if you treat her right will do anything for you. What you put in, you get back remember that...

-Be observant
maybe shes exotic looking? = where are you from?,
she carry a book that says interior design/architecture = You work at a design firm? You go to school for design? Then this branches into you sharing some knowledge on the topic. Maybe you know some people or books etc.

*The other thing could be the people you are approaching. What are you interested in? What do you do? What do you have alot of knowledge about? Choose your women according to what you like. It will be easier to talk to them and you can get along easier. There are shy awkward cute women everywhere you can connect with them.

Hope this helps. In the end keep your head up cause your not alone its tough for everyone. Also women have this problem too its not just men.
Author:  Profile Diva [ Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this a good opener?
Quote:
Yes I am awkward, nervous, and inexperienced. I know absolutely nothing when it comes to being social and I don't know body language. So what I say doesn't work pretty much 100% of the time. And I don't want to learn eventually. I haven't learned this stuff for 25 years. So I need all the help I can get on this stuff. So that's why I have to know a bunch of sentences. Or I'll talk about the same thing which is something I shouldn't do. So I know if I ask a girl. You're not a huge Beyonce fan, are you? She will say. Yes, no, or why. So I think it would help me to memorize what to say. And what she would say in advance. So like if she says yes, I say this. If she says no, I say this. If she says why, I say this. I want to do that. I don't want to learn crap on my own. I don't want to make crap up and see what happens. I want to know what will happen if I say something in advance. I haven't learned this crap for 25 years, so I am pretty sure I can't do this on my own. That is why I am on this website. I have no idea what to talk about when I talk to a girl. I don't know if anyone of you can get me a date. Also I don't have any money and I don't have a job so I can't pay you. And I don't think a lot of people like to help people for free which I kind of think is messed up.
Hey jbeannie05,

I'd really like to help you if I can, and hopefully restore your faith in the world a bit. I offer a service called Profile Diva which helps men design online dating profiles that attract the women they want. It's not about using lines or games - just giving you a woman's POV on how you can improve your profile. Usually I charge for my services, but I'd be happy to help you out for free as I can tell you're having a tough time. If you have an online dating profile, just send me an email at info@profilediva.net and I'd be happy to help you with it. No charge.

Also, in general, I can tell you're very frustrated and maybe it would be a good idea to concentrate on getting your life a little more on track (ie job, money etc) before you worry too much about picking up girls. It's hard to feel confident talking to other people when you don't feel good about your own life, who you are and where you're going. I'm sure that some of your lack of confidence with women stems from feeling down about these other areas in your life. Confidence with women does not exist in isolation, and as Booty Book advised, women are not computers you can program data into and expect a certain result. It would be great if people were that predictable, but they just aren't.

Hope I can help you out!
Author:  Broseidon55 [ Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this a good opener?
Quote:
So I know if I ask a girl. You're not a huge Beyonce fan, are you? She will say. Yes, no, or why. So I think it would help me to memorize what to say. And what she would say in advance. So like if she says yes, I say this. If she says no, I say this. If she says why, I say this. I want to do that. I don't want to learn crap on my own. I don't want to make crap up and see what happens. I want to know what will happen if I say something in advance. I haven't learned this crap for 25 years, so I am pretty sure I can't do this on my own. That is why I am on this website. I have no idea what to talk about when I talk to a girl. I don't know if anyone of you can get me a date. Also I don't have any money and I don't have a job so I can't pay you. And I don't think a lot of people like to help people for free which I kind of think is messed up.
You have a serious confidence problem. When you realize that whatever you want to say and however you feel is enough, you've made it. Right now youre stuck in your own head, trying to figure out what to say. You have to release your mind from this struggle. Trust me, you can do it. Go read "The Manual" by W. Anton, it will help you immensely.
Author:  Booty Book [ Mon Jun 17, 2013 2:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this a good opener?
Excellent advice from Diva. Also don't think getting laid and having a woman in your life will make all your stress go away. If anything it will complicate it. But definitely get your shit together and work on yourself and your situation every day until your happy. Get in shape, get a job, save some money, read some books, educate yourself about things you don't know, etc.

You have plenty of advice I think you have nothing to lose by trying what all 3 of us said. Good luck brotha.
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