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Help - texts are drying up?
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Author:  Lostinthecrowd [ Sat May 11, 2013 7:45 am ]
Post subject:  Help - texts are drying up?
Met a really cute girl on POF this week - got her number and we started texting yesterday. LAST NIGHT she was really flirty with me

...(banter back and forth)...
Her: "I already know I have got you ;)"
Me: "Maybe if you play your cards right but don't think that I'm easy to please"
Her: "You may not be easy to please but that doesn't mean that pleasing you won't be easy for me ;)"
Me: "Your confidence is sexy. Hope you can walk the talk ;)"
Her: "I hope for the same ;) thank you"

TODAY we texted a little but it is drying up and she's not being really responsive or flirty at all:
My response: "I prefer being thanked with actions instead of words ;)"
Her: "Mm maybe in your dreams.. maybe?"
Me: "Funny you mention dreams because I met a girl awfully similar looking to you last night.."
(texts kind of dried up soon after this... we had been joking before about seeing each other in our dreams earlier)

Any idea why this changed? She agreed to a date before I even got her number but she is not available until next weekend. So I really don't want this to burn out before then. Advice on how should I handle this?
Author:  TheRedBaron [ Sat May 11, 2013 9:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Help - texts are drying up?
Quote:
Met a really cute girl on POF this week - got her number and we started texting yesterday. LAST NIGHT she was really flirty with me

...(banter back and forth)...
Her: "I already know I have got you ;)"
Me: "Maybe if you play your cards right but don't think that I'm easy to please"
Her: "You may not be easy to please but that doesn't mean that pleasing you won't be easy for me ;)"
Me: "Your confidence is sexy. Hope you can walk the talk ;)"
Her: "I hope for the same ;) thank you"

TODAY we texted a little but it is drying up and she's not being really responsive or flirty at all:
My response: "I prefer being thanked with actions instead of words ;)"
Her: "Mm maybe in your dreams.. maybe?"
Me: "Funny you mention dreams because I met a girl awfully similar looking to you last night.."
(texts kind of dried up soon after this... we had been joking before about seeing each other in our dreams earlier)

Any idea why this changed? She agreed to a date before I even got her number but she is not available until next weekend. So I really don't want this to burn out before then. Advice on how should I handle this?
Your immediate response to a bitchy response like that should have been to freeze her out or maybe bust on her. You shouldn't have to put up with that kind of shit.

Now look at the first convo example you posted and then the second one... in the first, it's clear that SHE is chasing YOU (even if just playing)... in the second one, even though it's short, that one statement is just another way of trying to get HER to agree to be sexual with you. You were playing it spot-on the first time, but in the second one it sounds like you kind of dropped your confident, i-don't-need-you-for-sex-but-i'll-talk-to-you-cuz-you-seem-fun attitude. It was that shift in attitude that probably changed it. And when she gave you that obnoxious, bitchy response, instead of subtly asserting yourself as a man of options, you gave a response that seemed kind of try-hard and weird.

Seriously, the first convo you posted exemplifies a money attitude. It displays a "mentality of plenty".... that you're a man of choices, that you're a guy who can get any woman he wants and doesn't have to suck up or chase after girls. To a hot girl who has to constantly put up with losers hitting on her with lame pick up lines and acting like chodes to her, a man of choice that doesn't explicitly chase her is incredibly sexy. But the second convo, if your tone was consistent more or less with that message, totally contradicts that previous idea of you and is more in line with the kind of guys she's used to having to put up with, no offense.

This is not to say that you should NEVER "chase" or explicitly express interest in the girl.... but it's usually beneficial to wait to start doing that until AFTER you've met/fucked her. I will be honest, she was being overtly blatant that she was interested in the first convo and i'm surprised she gave you such a bitchy response, but depending on how long it's been since you two reached that stage where she started "chasing" you, it might have been too early to start reciprocating.

My advice: freeze her out for a couple days and get back to her with the mentality you had in the FIRST conversation. It's that mentality of "I don't give a fuck, I don't need you, I'm just seeing if you're fun and worth my time".
Author:  TheRedBaron [ Sat May 11, 2013 9:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Help - texts are drying up?
Here's a guide on how to effectively build attraction through messaging so you get the girl to pursue you like you had this one doing before. You'll see that the attitude it discusses is similar to the one you had in your first conversation.

how-to-build-attraction-over-text-vt156269.html
Author:  Lostinthecrowd [ Sun May 12, 2013 12:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Help - texts are drying up?
Thank you for the insightful response. I will take a look at your guide later tonight when I have some more time to sit down and read. This is more or less what I had a feeling happened.

I will wait until Monday to text her again since she ignored my last text. When I talk to her again, I want to set up plans for meeting. How would you advise I open after the conversation dropped off? I could use an example to get my thoughts rolling.

I was thinking of opening by asking if she was done moving yet (which was why she couldn't see me this weekend) but i feel like that might come off as being too needy.
Author:  Cryptic-rubric [ Sun May 12, 2013 12:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Help - texts are drying up?
Quote:
Thank you for the insightful response. I will take a look at your guide later tonight when I have some more time to sit down and read. This is more or less what I had a feeling happened.

I will wait until Monday to text her again since she ignored my last text. When I talk to her again, I want to set up plans for meeting. How would you advise I open after the conversation dropped off? I could use an example to get my thoughts rolling.

I was thinking of opening by asking if she was done moving yet (which was why she couldn't see me this weekend) but i feel like that might come off as being too needy.

No need, start it as like starting a fresh...

"Hey there stranger, I'm going out to do x on [day] and wondered if you'd like to come along? Know you are probably tired after your big move so no pressure :)"

Easy, ^ was completely off the cuff rather than stood for ages trying to come up with something. It's better to just be natural, if it's too 'perfect' or whatever, girls just know you've spend time worrying about it and that's a major put off for them.
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