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Does this "last chance txt" sound threatening/pushy?
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Author:  lucifer7 [ Tue May 07, 2013 12:40 am ]
Post subject:  Does this "last chance txt" sound threatening/pushy?
In case a girl seems reluctant to meet up, I have sometimes sent this one, tell me what you think about it (smaller part once I added it once not):

Hi xxx!
Last one from my side, don’t feel pushed -and don’t even feel forced to reply -: It’s just that quick meetups like ours have a follow-up either soon or.. Never.
So if you wanna give it a go, lemme know your next free day and we’ll try organize something, and if not.. I wish you all the best for your future .
Author:  .Sage. [ Tue May 07, 2013 2:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Does this "last chance txt" sound threatening/pushy?
I tried something like this(On facebook) along the same lines, girl flipped on me. Remember that girls don't think logically, they think emotionally. So giving her an ultimatum over text will make her panic. Be the man and make the decisions, never leave it up to her. Just remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and not whatever bull she keeps feeding you. Be dominant about meeting up and it should be clear *From the entire conversation you've had* that you'll dump her ass if she tries to play games with you. Get it?
Author:  Mak [ Tue May 07, 2013 2:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Does this "last chance txt" sound threatening/pushy?
Sounds alright to me. But in the end lucifer never wins.
Author:  Muzz [ Tue May 07, 2013 4:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Does this "last chance txt" sound threatening/pushy?
That's not going to work.
Author:  jamesd31 [ Tue May 07, 2013 5:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Does this "last chance txt" sound threatening/pushy?
I agree, it seems too desperate. I would reword it if you WANT to throw it that way. But honestly, you should be gaming enough girls to where her not meeting you isn't even that big of a deal.

No offense, but since you guys met already, and now she is flaking, she's not interested. Drop her and move on. Like they said, be more dominate, use words like "We shall do bla bla bla, is Wednesday or Thursday better for you?" and show that you already decided for her, but giving her the nice option in case she is busy.
Author:  GKS [ Wed May 08, 2013 2:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Does this "last chance txt" sound threatening/pushy?
It's weak. You can give them the time constraint but however put it in stronger frame. I often use "Hey let's do xxx on this xxx day. If I don't hear back from you before xxx time, I'll just assume you hate my guts and no longer want to have my babies. Ciao!" or something along the line.

Putsome humor to it. AVOID LOL or HAHAH or emoticon (you sound like clown and not even take your own words seriously). It shows that her flakiness doesn't faze you, you're just giving her a head up that you'll walk away if she's wasting your time.
Author:  lucifer7 [ Thu May 09, 2013 9:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Does this "last chance txt" sound threatening/pushy?
Thanks guys, good feedbacks, except for the "Lucifer never wins in the end" :lol:

Anyway, in case you're interested, here's how it worked (or not worked, first two are FB, last one text):


1. (Possibly) Counterproductive
One girl whom I had a done a strong positive impression in person (she said so) but who seemed difficult to pin down on meeting in person (she said yes in the weekend, I proposed a bar, she said she didn't drink and fancied the environment and after that the second attempt fell on semi-deaf ears) didn't reply and after a few days I defriended her.
She then blocked me on FB :D and I actually interpreted it as an indicator of interest, albeit useless: would you ever block someone who's not a friend anymore and that said -and was keeping the word- of not writing you anymore unless they meant at least a little bit something to you? I think you wouldn't go through the process if someone didn't move you at least a little bit to begin with.

Would I have ever met her without the "ultimatum gambit"? Difficult to say, but it's sure that by following through with that message I definitely lost it... (lemme know if you're interested in reading the whole exchange)

2. Neutral
The girl restated her interest in meeting but confirmed she really was too busy at the moment and not trying to avoid.
I think in this case it might border on the positive actually, but I'll label it neutral as it didn't lead to anything specific and since we wrote again after that it might have made me sound as someone who doesn't follow up on his word (her father died soon after that, certainly i'm not going to try anything funny with her under those terrible conditions and only offered good words and help).

3. Positive
The text girl (the text version was shorter) replied "Sure, my schedule is very busy now but i'd like to see you again so I'll think about it and let you know" (met her again after this and I believe it helped setting straight I wasn't up for many void texts and long waiting lines to meet).
Author:  GKS [ Fri May 10, 2013 4:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Does this "last chance txt" sound threatening/pushy?
In my experiences, if a girl says "I'll think about it and let you know", she really means "I'm keeping you as my last option in case I have nothing else to do". Some might want you to chase or try harder. But I usually refuse to play their games and say "I only accept yes or hell yes!" for one last push. If they still don't make a commitment to the plan, i'll just say "cool next time then". It saves me a lot of time and energy.
Author:  lucifer7 [ Fri May 10, 2013 12:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Does this "last chance txt" sound threatening/pushy?
Quote:
In my experiences, if a girl says "I'll think about it and let you know", she really means "I'm keeping you as my last option in case I have nothing else to do". Some might want you to chase or try harder. But I usually refuse to play their games and say "I only accept yes or hell yes!" for one last push. If they still don't make a commitment to the plan, i'll just say "cool next time then". It saves me a lot of time and energy.
I agree. Most of the times.
But it was a positive because she did let me know shortly after.

I do believe that "forcing a quick decision" can be a good thing in some occasions, because it can either lead to something quick or it will tell your with certainty if you'd better stop pursuing that option.

Agree that my message needs a rewording though, thanks for feeds.
Author:  Cryptic-rubric [ Fri May 10, 2013 9:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Does this "last chance txt" sound threatening/pushy?
Dude that didn't work, trust me.
A girl can read your personality in your texts, if that personality changes, she will presume that the text wasn't of your own creation. Then she will back away but most likely will not be direct about that. This, my friend, is your situation now.

Guys, what happened to literally going direct straight away?
It certainly reduces situations like this from happening in the first place.
Author:  lucifer7 [ Sat May 11, 2013 11:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Does this "last chance txt" sound threatening/pushy?
Quote:
Dude that didn't work, trust me.
A girl can read your personality in your texts, if that personality changes , she will presume that the text wasn't of your own creation. Then she will back away but most likely will not be direct about that. This, my friend, is your situation now.
Dude, how do you know what my personality was before?

Anyway, I shared the results I've had with that text, overall I'd say a bit more negative than positive.
Author:  Cryptic-rubric [ Sat May 11, 2013 10:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Does this "last chance txt" sound threatening/pushy?
Quote:

Dude, how do you know what my personality was before?

Anyway, I shared the results I've had with that text, overall I'd say a bit more negative than positive.
No dude. When you send a girl a message online, you are effectively portraying your personality in your messages/pictures/profile. She will and without a doubt, have created something in her head of what you are like, as a persona by the aids that you have given her i.e. profile etc...

If your perceived personality changed then she will presume that a] you didn't send the message or b] someone else told you to send that message.

That's why we see guys coming on here wondering what the fuck went wrong, why the girl all of a sudden went cold when they sent a risky text or when they've been such a sweetheart and then sent a dirtier text without a response.

Keep a solid frame, the personality is key all the way through. My quote of the millennium:
Quote:
'The self is always coming through' - Owen Cook [a.k.a Tyler Durden]
Author:  lucifer7 [ Mon May 13, 2013 9:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Does this "last chance txt" sound threatening/pushy?
Quote:
Quote:

Dude, how do you know what my personality was before?

Anyway, I shared the results I've had with that text, overall I'd say a bit more negative than positive.
No dude. When you send a girl a message online, you are effectively portraying your personality in your messages/pictures/profile. She will and without a doubt, have created something in her head of what you are like, as a persona by the aids that you have given her i.e. profile etc...

If your perceived personality changed then she will presume that a] you didn't send the message or b] someone else told you to send that message.

That's why we see guys coming on here wondering what the fuck went wrong, why the girl all of a sudden went cold when they sent a risky text or when they've been such a sweetheart and then sent a dirtier text without a response.

Keep a solid frame, the personality is key all the way through. My quote of the millennium:
Quote:
'The self is always coming through' - Owen Cook [a.k.a Tyler Durden]


What I mean is: how do you know how my personality was before that text (which was actually quite a bit edgy :) ).
And also, I thought that text, so it wasn't like I plucked it from somewhere after having chased and put her on a pedestal or something.

Anyway, it's OK, I don't think it would apply here but I agree very much with what you say and it's good to remember it :).
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