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| Please critique my dating profile https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=145168 |
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| Author: | MiamiFun [ Thu Sep 06, 2012 11:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Please critique my dating profile |
I'm new here and would appreciate some feedback. I'm working on the content of my profile and this is what I have thus far: "I guess this is where I tell you that I spend my days saving kids from burning buildings, making millions of dollars from my hedge fund, and playing guitar in a rock band. But the truth is - I'm just a normal guy who wants to meet pretty girls and get them out on dates. If we hit it off, I'm all up for a meaningful relationship and maybe a family someday. But for now I'm enjoying the single life after being in a relationship since high school so it will take a pretty special girl to change my facebook status. About me - I consider myself a very ambitious person, but not to the point that I let my career consume all of my energy. Philanthropy is what keeps me motivated; I work with children's hospitals. I didn't have much growing up and it means a lot to me to be able to make some very unlucky kids a little happier. My goal in life is to make a significant positive difference in the world. I’m also really into sports; I love wrestling, jiujitsu, power-lifting, and auto racing. I'm a huge adrenaline junkie and love the rush of driving fast (I only drive fast on racetrack, don't worry, I won't get us killed going 180 on the freeway). I like watching movies with a good story, my favorite directors are Christopher Nolan, Ridley Scott, Tim Burton, and Peter Jackson. I'm looking for a girl who is honest, kindhearted, emotionally stable, talkative, and elegant. Someone who would wake up early to go for a run at the beach with me - not someone who wakes up at 3pm with a hangover and her hair smelling like cigarettes. I'm not a smoker, drinker, or a drug user, so if you are, this probably won’t work. I'm passionate about traveling, so I'm looking for a girl who can set aside a few months out of the year on seeing the world and learning about new cultures. I'm very adventurous so I'm looking for a girl who won't be scared to ride on motorcycles and jetskiis, do extreme sports, skydive, scuba dive, etc. Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted to climb the Everest and cross the Atlantic on a sailboat, and I plan on making that happen in the near future. One of my flaws is that I tend to be quite impatient and don't put up with insincerity. I'm very outspoken and have a bit of a temper if I see someone being treated unkindly, and can't always keep that to myself. If you're not bothered by this, we'll definitely get along. I also dislike "small talk", so I need a girl who's able to carry an intelligent conversation about something other than shopping or what the Kardashians are doing. I enjoy talking to people about real things: how they feel and what they think about the world. I hope my profile hasn't been too off-putting. I don't mean to be brash, just honest. If you think we'd get along, I would love to hear from you." |
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| Author: | SMERSH [ Sun Sep 16, 2012 4:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | ! |
Great profile! A few pieces of feedback: "I'm just a normal guy who wants to meet pretty girls" >> i wouldn't use "pretty" and instead use some non-looks related adjectives "I'm passionate about traveling, so I'm looking for a girl who can set aside a few months out of the year on seeing the world and learning about new cultures. " >> talking about travel is cliche. Also you state that you aren't looking for anything serious, yet you want a girl to set aside a few months of her life to travel with you?? |
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| Author: | MiamiFun [ Wed Sep 26, 2012 1:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks for feedback. I made some revisions, here is my final version. It's been very successful, I get so many responses that I now show up as "replies very selectively" in search. I'm a hopeless romantic who finds pleasure in simple things in life; like walking on the beach at night under a star-filled sky or discovering new ways to feed each other chocolate-covered strawberries. I'm searching for a girl who's beautiful inside and out - to make a connection where we can both be ourselves while sharing common interests and aspirations. Won't let me post link, feel free to look me up Prince1Charming. "I grew up in Europe and moved to the US for college and to pursue a business career. In my free time I enjoy going to the beach, biking, boating, spending an evening in a nice restaurant with friends, etc. I enjoy photography and going to art shows and museums. I'm a very ambitious person, but not to the point that I let my career consume all of my energy. Philanthropy is what keeps me motivated; I work with children's hospitals and orphanages. I didn't have much growing up and it means a lot to me to be able to make some very unlucky kids a little happier. I love sports, particularly jiujitsu, power-lifting, and auto racing. I'm a huge adrenaline junkie and love the rush of driving fast (I only drive fast on racetrack, don't worry, I won't get us killed going 180 on the freeway). I like watching movies with a good story, my favorite directors are Christopher Nolan, Ridley Scott, Tim Burton, and Peter Jackson. Some of my favorite musicians out of the top of my head are The Beatles, Mozart, Eminem, Aerosmith, Tupac , Taylor Swift, Guns&Roses, Akon, Bob Marley. I'm looking for a girl who is honest, kindhearted, and elegant. Someone who would wake up early to go for a run at the beach - not someone who wakes up at 3pm with a hangover and her hair smelling like cigarettes. I'm passionate about traveling, so I'm looking for a girl who can set aside a few months out of the year on seeing the world and learning about new cultures. I'm very adventurous so I'm looking for a girl who won't be scared to ride on motorcycles and jetskiis, do extreme sports, skydive, scuba dive, etc. I also enjoy talking to people about real things: how they feel and what they think about the world (I'm not a big fan of "small talk" and don't care much about what the Kardashians are doing). And finally, I don't like superficial and fake things, so if I'm seeing someone, I want it to be meaningful. " |
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| Author: | MiamiFun [ Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks for feedback. I made some revisions, here is my final version. It's been very successful, I get so many responses that I now show up as "replies very selectively" in search. Won't let me post link, feel free to look me up Prince1Charming. I'm a hopeless romantic who finds pleasure in simple things in life; like walking on the beach at night under a star-filled sky or discovering new ways to feed each other chocolate-covered strawberries. I'm searching for a girl who's beautiful inside and out - to make a connection where we can both be ourselves while sharing common interests and aspirations. "I grew up in Europe and moved to the US for college and to pursue a business career. In my free time I enjoy going to the beach, biking, boating, spending an evening in a nice restaurant with friends, etc. I enjoy photography and going to art shows and museums. I'm a very ambitious person, but not to the point that I let my career consume all of my energy. Philanthropy is what keeps me motivated; I work with children's hospitals and orphanages. I didn't have much growing up and it means a lot to me to be able to make some very unlucky kids a little happier. I love sports, particularly jiujitsu, power-lifting, and auto racing. I'm a huge adrenaline junkie and love the rush of driving fast (I only drive fast on racetrack, don't worry, I won't get us killed going 180 on the freeway). I like watching movies with a good story, my favorite directors are Christopher Nolan, Ridley Scott, Tim Burton, and Peter Jackson. Some of my favorite musicians out of the top of my head are The Beatles, Mozart, Eminem, Aerosmith, Tupac , Taylor Swift, Guns&Roses, Akon, Bob Marley. I'm looking for a girl who is honest, kindhearted, and elegant. Someone who would wake up early to go for a run at the beach - not someone who wakes up at 3pm with a hangover and her hair smelling like cigarettes. I'm passionate about traveling, so I'm looking for a girl who can set aside a few months out of the year on seeing the world and learning about new cultures. I'm very adventurous so I'm looking for a girl who won't be scared to ride on motorcycles and jetskiis, do extreme sports, skydive, scuba dive, etc. I also enjoy talking to people about real things: how they feel and what they think about the world (I'm not a big fan of "small talk" and don't care much about what the Kardashians are doing). And finally, I don't like superficial and fake things, so if I'm seeing someone, I want it to be meaningful. " |
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