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POF Message?
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=143945		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  stringfellow on sticks [ Fri Aug 24, 2012 5:17 pm ]
Post subject:  POF Message?
Hey guys,

Could you please tell me what you think of this message I've been sending on POF :

"

Hi!

I'm pretty sceptical about dating sites such as this one, but I have to say that your profile & photos really intrigued me, so I just wanted to say hi! I also wanted to be sure that it really IS you, the cutie that I see in the photos, and that you're not some kind of international super-spy with magical powers, or something crazy like that! :D

You're a beautiful girl, I'm not gonna lie. But physical beauty is common. What qualities do you have that make you different from other girls? I'm genuinely intrigued, and I'd like to know more about you!

I guess that you like to travel and eat good food! So do I! So tell me, where are the 3 most fun places you've been to, and why? And, another question, if you could invite 2 famous people (either living or dead) to an imaginary dinner party, who would they be, and why?

Now a little bit about me : I'm 29 years old. I'm English but I live and work in the south of France. I speak English and French fluently, decent German, and a little bit of Italian and Spanish.

Well, I hope to hear from you soon! Have a great weekend!

Rob (your new favourite Englishman!)"

Do you guys find this message funny? Is it too weird? Any feedback would be great! Thanks guys!
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Aug 24, 2012 7:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
WAY TO FUCKING LONG

I fell asleep twice!
Quote:
I'm pretty sceptical about dating sites such as this one, but I have to say that your profile & photos really intrigued me, so I just wanted to say hi! I also wanted to be sure that it really IS you, the cutie that I see in the photos, and that you're not some kind of international super-spy with magical powers, or something crazy like that!
Shorten to just this!
Author:  stringfellow on sticks [ Fri Aug 24, 2012 8:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Haha yeah, it is maybe a bit wordy! :D

Cheers for the advice!
Author:  Etherimp [ Sat Aug 25, 2012 3:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
You use the word "want" two times in short succession. "want" is the word of neediness.

Just make your statement without the word want.
Author:  The Doctor [ Sat Aug 25, 2012 5:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: POF Message?
Okay, in my opinion an opener should be short. It's just a hook to get a conversation going. I've found that something unique is best, not unique to them, just something they are not likely to have heard before. Go with something that's not more then 2 lines of text and is 1 or more of the following. Funny, adorable or shocking.
Quote:
I'm pretty sceptical about dating sites such as this one, but I have to say that your profile & photos really intrigued me, so I just wanted to say hi!
Your planting the seed in her mind that meeting someone off of an online dating site might be a bad idea. I'd cut this completely, you don't want to put that idea in her head.
Quote:
I also wanted to be sure that it really IS you, the cutie that I see in the photos, and that you're not some kind of international super-spy with magical powers, or something crazy like that! :D
I'd cut the real you part for similar reasons as the above. The international super spy bit is heading down the right track with something unique and funny.
Quote:
You're a beautiful girl, I'm not gonna lie. But physical beauty is common. What qualities do you have that make you different from other girls? I'm genuinely intrigued, and I'd like to know more about you!
Cut it. 90%+ of guys call her beautiful in messages if she's even average. Also your not genuinely intrigued at this point unless your desperate and you don't want to be desperate. The qualities part has potential but I would make it a bit more specific and go into it on the second message.
Quote:
I guess that you like to travel and eat good food! So do I! So tell me, where are the 3 most fun places you've been to, and why? And, another question, if you could invite 2 famous people (either living or dead) to an imaginary dinner party, who would they be, and why?
To long and again for a second message. Good potential there though for a second message, I'd re-write it something like:

You know travelling is a big passion of mine, I love seeing new places, meeting new people and eating new foods :-) If you could go anywhere, where would you go? And why there?
Quote:
Now a little bit about me : I'm 29 years old. I'm English but I live and work in the south of France. I speak English and French fluently, decent German, and a little bit of Italian and Spanish.

Well, I hope to hear from you soon! Have a great weekend!

Rob (your new favourite Englishman!)"
Cut that also

Just remember man, short hook for your first message. Like the headline for an advertisement. Your first message has 1 purpose and 1 purpose only, to catch her attention enough to send something back. From there, your conversing and it opens up :-)
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