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HELP! First response on OKC! :D
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Author:  Pintero [ Fri Apr 20, 2012 11:43 am ]
Post subject:  HELP! First response on OKC! :D
Ok, first olf all some background:

1. I have NO profile, just one picture.

2. She checked out my profile 2 days ago, and when I found that out yesterday, I looked up her profile, and said fuck it, I'll message her.

3. I was feeling out of it, I was just about to go to bed, and I was more or less feeling that women are useless and illogical/dumb creatures, so I was busting her non-existant balls.

So yeah, I messaged her something like: "Being religious as well I can understand your stance on some things, but you're being unrealistic. (especially when it comes to sex and marriage) From you're picture you look cute and all, but are you open minded? that is the question."

So yeah, I was more or less just lashing out at her. See, in her profile she is Bisexual, seems pretty open minded indeed, but the fact that she put that a relationship doesn't need sex all the time was rediculous to me (as that is something I'd want from any girl) and something she put about marriage I cannot remember. Anyhow, seems like she has high standards for the guy but not for herself.

ANYhow, I messaged her and was about to go to bed but I checked my email first (at 11:30 at night on a thursday) and she responded with:

"What do you mean unrealistic? I'm open minded but I also know what I want"

So what do I do? I could keep bashing her, but would it lead anywhere? How do I maintain my frame and lead to sex? Etc. I'm new to all of this and I have to tell you guys I've noticed throughout my life that I always blow it when it comes to attraction. It's always been strong from the outset, but i slip into pleasing mode. I'm thinking I should just make her qualify to death to the point where even the sex becomes an act of her qualifying. But that's just if I go with my initial feelings. Any help and insight would be appreciated, thanks.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Apr 20, 2012 12:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! First response on OKC! :D
Quote:
I'm open minded but I also know what I want"

So what do I do?
I would say "I know what I want as well, How are your sandwich making skills?" LOL
Author:  Pintero [ Fri Apr 20, 2012 12:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! First response on OKC! :D
Quote:
Quote:
I'm open minded but I also know what I want"

So what do I do?
I would say "I know what I want as well, How are your sandwich making skills?" LOL
Lol, I like that, but does it fit with the frame? I guess it does with my sexist-nature. Additionally, I think she's having a lack of success via the late time she responded and the fact that she responded immediately. Any insight on that? Am I analyzing that correctly?
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Apr 20, 2012 12:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! First response on OKC! :D
Quote:
I think she's having a lack of success via the late time she responded and the fact that she responded immediately. Any insight on that? Am I analyzing that correctly?
Likely, she gets hit on a lot, but mostly does not reply, because 90% are just "Hi" or "Your so beautiful...bla..bla" So I'm sure she has the iPhone app, or something, so she can sort it out quickly!. When YOU said something Different she responded, immediately! Dare to say what ever you want, if she doesn't like DON'T apologize!
Author:  Pintero [ Fri Apr 20, 2012 1:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! First response on OKC! :D
Quote:
Quote:
I think she's having a lack of success via the late time she responded and the fact that she responded immediately. Any insight on that? Am I analyzing that correctly?
Likely, she gets hit on a lot, but mostly does not reply, because 90% are just "Hi" or "Your so beautiful...bla..bla" So I'm sure she has the iPhone app, or something, so she can sort it out quickly!. When YOU said something Different she responded, immediately! Dare to say what ever you want, if she doesn't like DON'T apologize!
Makes sense, thanks man. I'll try your line out and let you guys know what happened, peace. :)
Author:  Pintero [ Fri Apr 20, 2012 10:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! First response on OKC! :D
Quote:

I would say "I know what I want as well, How are your sandwich making skills?" LOL
Ok, so I used that line and she replied with "about as good as my flogging skills" Like WTF? lol, I have no idea what the heck is going on, someone want to illuminate me? I need to know what's going on here, is this a test? attempt to pry humor out of me? To be honest, I'm not impressed, and HATE games so yeah, any help and insight would be awesome, thanks guys.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 12:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! First response on OKC! :D
Quote:
Ok, so I used that line and she replied with "about as good as my flogging skills" Like WTF? lol, I have no idea what the heck is going on, someone want to illuminate me? I need to know what's going on here, is this a test? attempt to pry humor out of me? To be honest, I'm not impressed, and HATE games so yeah, any help and insight would be awesome, thanks guys.
Bro! She is teasing back, testing, play with it BUT use lots of HUMOR! Lots of smily faces with your negs, Like "You could kick my ass then? LOL :)" then "I'm kind of a smartass LOl :)" that sort of thing!
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 12:18 am ]
Post subject: 
example of what I did yesterday on POF
pof-open-to-number-close-1-hour-vt13384 ... highlight=
Author:  Pintero [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 12:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! First response on OKC! :D
Quote:

Bro! She is teasing back, testing, play with it BUT use lots of HUMOR! Lots of smily faces with your negs, Like "You could kick my ass then? LOL :)" then "I'm kind of a smartass LOl :)" that sort of thing!
Ah, well this is where I enter my problem: I have little humor if any. I don't get it to be honest with you, and I can joke and all that, but when it comes to stuff like this, it'll fly right past me and I'll just do the whole

"what do you mean?" *blank expression*.
><

SO, it's all well and good BUT, if I have any hope of staying congruent, entering into humor is not a good idea, as I'll just lose it like I did just now. I don't get it, etc.

I was thinking of bringing up the sexuality, saying something like "well you can be the mistress to your girlfriends but I don't go for that sort of thing myself." :/ Any suggestions on either improving with this or steering the convo to fit me more?
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 3:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! First response on OKC! :D
Quote:
Any suggestions on either improving with this or steering the convo to fit me more?
Yes but you won't like it!

Say the 1st thing that pops into you head! because that IS you! If she does not like YOU then fuck her, NEXT!

The comment you said is fine! As lone as it fits the frame of the convo!
Author:  Pintero [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 4:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! First response on OKC! :D
Quote:
Quote:
Any suggestions on either improving with this or steering the convo to fit me more?
Yes but you won't like it!

Say the 1st thing that pops into you head! because that IS you! If she does not like YOU then fuck her, NEXT!

The comment you said is fine! As lone as it fits the frame of the convo!
I see. Forgive me if I'm thinking out loud: so I just do whatever and if she's down with it she is and if not next? Makes sense to me BUT, what about pick up in general? I've gotten to the place where I think that I need to change from being AFC. Is being AFC simply not being yourself and being a people/woman pleaser? Can one have no sense of humor (or, like me, a very obscure one/one that isn't readily accessible is how I'd describe it) and still be able to pull girls? if so, what is the means by which we get there?

lol, I hope I'm making sense and thanks for your insight, you're helping a lot, I just need some clarity on some things.

Like I've said, I always seem to lose the attraction so something must be wrong, I'm just trying to find out what it is.
Author:  jurupa [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 8:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: HELP! First response on OKC! :D
Quote:
So yeah, I was more or less just lashing out at her. See, in her profile she is Bisexual, seems pretty open minded indeed, but the fact that she put that a relationship doesn't need sex all the time was rediculous to me (as that is something I'd want from any girl) and something she put about marriage I cannot remember.
I think you first need to realize that when a girl says she is open minded it needs to be taken in context and even then with online you need to be careful of the context. As it could be sexual or new ideas of thinking or expression, or even new experiences. As far as the sex part goes you need to be realistic about your wants and needs. I am not saying your want isn't per say, but more be flexible with your needs and wants. Saying that there is no harm in having a few wants/needs that you won't budge on, if daily sex is one then you may want to skip this girl as I doubt thinks will work out.
Quote:
Anyhow, seems like she has high standards for the guy but not for herself.
Does she mention any degree or good paying job? If so she may have high standards for her self. Saying that you have to keep in mind that girls marry/date up not down usually. Plus this is an online dating site which means more than likely she gets loads of messages per day and have the pick of the litter so to speak.
Quote:
So what do I do? I could keep bashing her, but would it lead anywhere?
Bashing her won't help you any really. Best to throw her curve balls if you will. It will keep her on her feet, and help separate you even more from the pack and have her more focus on you.
Quote:
How do I maintain my frame and lead to sex?
Throw in sexual innuendos and/or take what she says sexually. But don't start out blatantly work up to it, it will make you less of a perv/creep.
Quote:
Like I've said, I always seem to lose the attraction so something must be wrong, I'm just trying to find out what it is.
You really don't need attraction per say with online but more interests and comfort. Majority of online dating is no more than online marketing really. As the whole point is to draw them in so that they "buy" the product in this case its them given you their number and you meet them in person.

Btw flogging is a form of whipping, the fact that she brought this up may indicate she has a kinky side to her, which means the open minded is sexual.
Author:  Pintero [ Mon Apr 23, 2012 11:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok, so I decided to just do my own thing, be me so to speak. So in response to her saying "As good as my flogging skills" I replied with something along the lines of "Ah, so you're a kink then. Can you take it as well as dish it out or are you the dominant type?"

to which she replied "I switch"

Now, part of me thinks it's good that she's conversing with me about the sex subject, HOWEVER, her answers seem weak and just I dunno, like she's not interested tbh. Am I analyzing this correctly? I mean, she's putting in minimal effort here, she's replying, BUT... that's all she's doing. Replying. I dunno, my current thought is to let her down easy or push for a ONS at her house :P either way, I'd love more input on this, thanks guys.
Author:  tkercher [ Tue May 01, 2012 4:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
If youre asking her a question with a clear answer one way or the other then she's going to respond with a one word reply.

You need an open ended question, if they respond like idk... That's probably a bad sign. The more emotion you can evoke sometimes the better the convo gets. That's kind of what teasing is for, now that she's kind of revealed this weird side to her, make her justify it. Reconcile it with your values and see if you can come to a mutual understanding. When you can get to the point where you can give her advice as if you were her, that's progress, your minds are starting to overlap, the bodies will likely follow if there's mutual attraction.
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