About 4-5 years ago I was definitely an AFC. I'd had a few girlfriends but probably not as many as I'd like to have had. A couple years ago, I sort of realized that I have a lot going for me. I'm very fit/athletic, I'm not bad-looking, I have a good career and all that. So I sort of stopped being AFC. Not a PUA mind you (I'd never heard of PUAs, seduction community or anything like that until a couple months ago) but not an AFC. Just a regular reasonably confident guy who did okay.
My one bad point was one ex- that I only briefly dated. We dated for like a month before she dumped me. She was at the time the best-looking girl I'd slept with. Even though I don't think I was that into her, I took it really badly and went totally AFC on her. It's embarrassing to think back upon how bad I was.
Anyway, it so happens that her and I have the same birthday. So typically each year I say happy birthday to her (on AIM as she lives far away now), she says happy birthday to me, we catch up for a little bit, and then she says bye. Our birthday just recently passed a couple weeks ago, and just today I saw her on AIM and remembered.
I was just about to type this:
"hey, I forgot to say happy bday to you this year"
stopped, caught myself, and instead said:
"hey, you forgot to wish me happy bday this year!"
the rest goes:
her: lol
her: *giggle*
me: well, i'm waiting!
her: happy belated bday
(yes really, 7 smilies)me: okay, happy belated bday to you too
her: thank you
[pause for about 3 minutes, I stick to my guns and don't say anything]
her: what have u been up to ?
me: doing a lot of travelling, i went to spain earlier, right now i'm in italy right now
her: cool, sounds exciting
[more blah blah blah from both of us, mostly me talking about how great my travel has been going]
me: and you?
her: school work beach
her: mostly
me: cool
me: well i should get back to work
me: talk to you soon, say hi some time
her: will do
her: take care!
me: before i turn 32 pls (i just turned 31, she 29)
her: lol
her: promise
(I get an AIM message informing me she's added me back to her buddy list. Which means she had deleted me, but found me interesting enough this time around to add me again!)
This really seems like nothing, and honestly it is nothing. But it means a lot because for a while she really had a spell on me as the only girl to ever really dump me. In the past when I talked to her I would try to keep her on the line, keep asking questions, do dumbass AFC shit like that. It felt nice to do a 180 and be the one to DHV, to have her asking all the questions about me, and to be the one to decide when the conversation ended. It was pretty satisfying.
I live far away from this chick, I might not ever see her again, our lives have taken different paths and I'm totally fine with that. I'm not sure I'd want her back even if I could snap my fingers and make it happen. But it felt so great to be in control.