PUA Forum :: Very experienced advice needed.

I'm good at building comfort but I build too much comfort and get them to tell their life stories to me. I need to build comfort but I have noticed there is a fine line that you should not cross because then you get emotional baggage dumped on you.

So I need to build more attraction but I need some ideas.

This keeps recurring so A little back ground.~

I mentioned I was writing lyrics and wanted some help to have her input. It was quite a lot of fun but then they started get deep and next thing she's telling me how she is missing her ex and all that. So I seen what was going on but didn't know how to handle it. My reaction was to say 'ask him out' so I don't seem like I am hitting on her.

Then I had the whole 'but he's an ass' and she was slagging him off so that was her doing the hard work for me.

Whats the best way to handle this situation so I get the girl at the end of it build attraction while making her comfortable with me. What do you do?

Author:	Jambi [ Mon Oct 24, 2011 6:36 pm ]
Post subject:	Very experienced advice needed.
I'm good at building comfort but I build too much comfort and get them to tell their life stories to me. I need to build comfort but I have noticed there is a fine line that you should not cross because then you get emotional baggage dumped on you. So I need to build more attraction but I need some ideas. This keeps recurring so A little back ground.~ I mentioned I was writing lyrics and wanted some help to have her input. It was quite a lot of fun but then they started get deep and next thing she's telling me how she is missing her ex and all that. So I seen what was going on but didn't know how to handle it. My reaction was to say 'ask him out' so I don't seem like I am hitting on her. Then I had the whole 'but he's an ass' and she was slagging him off so that was her doing the hard work for me. Whats the best way to handle this situation so I get the girl at the end of it build attraction while making her comfortable with me. What do you do?

Author:	JSmooth [ Tue Oct 25, 2011 4:26 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Very experienced advice needed.
Quote: I'm good at building comfort but I build too much comfort and get them to tell their life stories to me. I need to build comfort but I have noticed there is a fine line that you should not cross because then you get emotional baggage dumped on you. So I need to build more attraction but I need some ideas. This keeps recurring so A little back ground.~ I mentioned I was writing lyrics and wanted some help to have her input. It was quite a lot of fun but then they started get deep and next thing she's telling me how she is missing her ex and all that. So I seen what was going on but didn't know how to handle it. My reaction was to say 'ask him out' so I don't seem like I am hitting on her. Then I had the whole 'but he's an ass' and she was slagging him off so that was her doing the hard work for me. Whats the best way to handle this situation so I get the girl at the end of it build attraction while making her comfortable with me. What do you do? You are on the right track building comfort because you need that comfort if you are ever going to get her off the computer and in front of you on a date. It's knowing the right amount to get and then ask for the date or her number so you can build a little more. You typically want a good 5-10 messages back and forth going over open ended comfort questions and getting to know you material. Around that time if you've done things properly you should ask her out on a date or if you aren't sure she'll say yes to that go for her #. When you are online it's hard to build attraction as a lot of the push pull types of ways to build attraction are difficult to pull off without body language things get misinterpreted. However, you can still display those attraction qualities in your messages to her... Save main stream attraction for when you get in person. Hope it helps.

Author:	Max DHV [ Sun Oct 30, 2011 2:05 am ]
Post subject:
At any stage was she giving clear IOIs? Say, at the start of the interaction when you first emailed eachother? Important to know whether there was any attraction on her part at any point. Anyhow, her dangeling the BF in front of you is a strange thing to do but an indicator that you have pushed the friend thing too far. DO NOT: try and fix her problem by decifering the bf's signals and helping her be with him in an effort to seem non-needy. BUT DO: encourage her to go for him, then start to take the piss out of her/them, teasing etc. Make them out to be this corny cheesy old couple from from some crap B-grade 80s movie or something. It'll seem like your sitting there laughing at her while typing, while at her end she has a genuine problem (or so you are supposed to think). Also dont forget cat theory (early exit) - so drop a few tease lines and then while shes spilling her heart to you (about him) disconnect or something. IOW, I have more shit to do than listen to your BS... (DHV). Hahaha you could even thank her for giving you an idea for a song lyric or something. Im just guessing with this last one... good luck.

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