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The Economics of Online Dating
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Author:  Atlas1 [ Thu Oct 20, 2011 11:25 am ]
Post subject:  The Economics of Online Dating
Hi guys,

I troll these forms a lot, time to contribute something. This will be a work in progress

The Economics of Online Dating
Online dating is NOT an advantageous arena for men to compete in. Without cutting it down to deeply, here are a few factors that go into it:

1) There are more men than women on online dating sites
2) Most men on these sites do NOT know what they are doing
3) Women can be more selective and judgmental online

Women as the Selector
This equation is simple. Due to points 1 and 2 above, women fall into the selection role.

Time investment equations
Women: Low Investment, High Return
Men: High Investment, Low Return

What is this? Well simply put:

A man will take the time, read the woman's profile, take even MORE time and write out an email to her.

A good looking woman logs in and has literally hundreds (or thousands!) of emails to look through. She can skim the message, look at the pictures, and decide if she wants to respond or delete. Women can do this in literally SECONDS and disqualify men easily based on things like spelling and punctuation making men have to spend even MORE time to get a return.


So how do we combat this?

The global message!
Take a message like this one, and just blast it out there. It has to be general enough that it requires little / no modification between profiles. I'll be honest I have tested this one myself and only get about a 10% positive response rate on OKC but then, I'm an ugly mofo :).

I'd be interested to hear and tweaks the community has to offer / results you get.
Code:
[Insert one or two sentences about her profile. Example if she said shes originally from Chicago I'd say: "Okay before we go ANY further I need to ask you a question: Chicago or NY style pizza? Keep in mind your answer will have a huge effect on my interest in you!"] Oh wait, I'm supposed to be writing a boring, average introduction e-mail right? Not talking about [x]. Ooops haha! So how do they all go again? Just "Hey baby!" Or maybe a bit more adventurous: First a compliment right? "YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!" - I also remember to keep everything in caps! Wait...I forgot to misspell half the words... Then a pathetic attempt to rationalize why you should like me..."Wow we have sooo mach in comon" - See I misspelled words that time! Then let me think...what usually comes next....guys telling you about themselves? "So I just recently divorced my 9th wife, I gots me 12 kids (only three in jail)! But ya know what? My life is really turning around! I just got me a part time job at the sizzler!" --------- Haha okay I can't keep typing like that lol. Anyway, if you couldn't already tell I'm not the average dating site guy and you seem like you might be different from the average dating site girl. I'm considering getting to know you. Talk to you soon, -Johnnyc

..more to come. Please post any feedback you have![/code]
Author:  jurupa [ Thu Oct 20, 2011 1:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Economics of Online Dating
Quote:
Online dating is NOT an advantageous arena for men to compete in.
Depends on how you go about it or approach it. really.
Quote:
2) Most men on these sites do NOT know what they are doing
Wich I would argue would put the advantage on guys that do know what they are doing. As they be ahead of those that don't know what they are doing.

Quote:
Women: Low Investment, High Return
Men: High Investment, Low Return
Generally speaking this is true. But if you use your advantage right you can also do low investment high return.
Quote:
A man will take the time, read the woman's profile, take even MORE time and write out an email to her.
Reading most profiles take like what 1-2 minutes max? Now if a girl has a freaking book as profile I skim those to see if anything is interesting is there if not I comment on her book.
Quote:
A good looking woman logs in and has literally hundreds (or thousands!) of emails to look through. She can skim the message, look at the pictures, and decide if she wants to respond or delete. Women can do this in literally SECONDS and disqualify men easily based on things like spelling and punctuation making men have to spend even MORE time to get a return.
In some ways I would argue it takes women more time due to how many messages they generally get. As they have to look at the picture, see if it grabs their interest read the message, read the profile or at least skim it (girls DO read profiles or look at them), and maybe reply back. This is not including deleting all the messages.

Quote:
The global message!
Take a message like this one, and just blast it out there. It has to be general enough that it requires little / no modification between profiles. I'll be honest I have tested this one myself and only get about a 10% positive response rate on OKC but then, I'm an ugly mofo :).
This is what I basically do for the most part which is to spam general openers. Now if I come to a profile that has something unique, like the girl being tall her self or says something or has a unique picture then I write a custom message. Btw I like your general message, tho I may tweak your message and make it more slap stick humor. You know what I may try that. I post the message I use when I finish tweaking it.
Author:  Atlas1 [ Thu Oct 20, 2011 10:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Jurupa,

We are in agreement :). I'm not bashing online dating in this post, simply stating some real concerns and looking to address them.

Though most profiles take about 5 to fully read! Got any female friends who use online dating? Ask them to let you watch them use it. You'll see what I mean. They disqualify e-mail messages in phases. First the subject line, then the picture, then a skim. About 1 seconds, 5 seconds, 10 seconds respectively. You have just spent maybe 5-10 minutes reading and responding to a profile and the recipient spends 10 seconds rejecting you. The approach I summarized (and will detail once its refined) will rectify this.

Please DO let me know how you succeed with it and any tweaks you found successful.
Author:  papichulo818 [ Thu Oct 20, 2011 11:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Economics of Online Dating
Quote:
Hi guys,

I troll these forms a lot, time to contribute something. This will be a work in progress

The Economics of Online Dating
Online dating is NOT an advantageous arena for men to compete in. Without cutting it down to deeply, here are a few factors that go into it:

1) There are more men than women on online dating sites
2) Most men on these sites do NOT know what they are doing
3) Women can be more selective and judgmental online

Women as the Selector
This equation is simple. Due to points 1 and 2 above, women fall into the selection role.

Time investment equations
Women: Low Investment, High Return
Men: High Investment, Low Return

What is this? Well simply put:

A man will take the time, read the woman's profile, take even MORE time and write out an email to her.

A good looking woman logs in and has literally hundreds (or thousands!) of emails to look through. She can skim the message, look at the pictures, and decide if she wants to respond or delete. Women can do this in literally SECONDS and disqualify men easily based on things like spelling and punctuation making men have to spend even MORE time to get a return.


So how do we combat this?

The global message!
Take a message like this one, and just blast it out there. It has to be general enough that it requires little / no modification between profiles. I'll be honest I have tested this one myself and only get about a 10% positive response rate on OKC but then, I'm an ugly mofo :).

I'd be interested to hear and tweaks the community has to offer / results you get.
Code:
[Insert one or two sentences about her profile. Example if she said shes originally from Chicago I'd say: "Okay before we go ANY further I need to ask you a question: Chicago or NY style pizza? Keep in mind your answer will have a huge effect on my interest in you!"] Oh wait, I'm supposed to be writing a boring, average introduction e-mail right? Not talking about [x]. Ooops haha! So how do they all go again? Just "Hey baby!" Or maybe a bit more adventurous: First a compliment right? "YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!" - I also remember to keep everything in caps! Wait...I forgot to misspell half the words... Then a pathetic attempt to rationalize why you should like me..."Wow we have sooo mach in comon" - See I misspelled words that time! Then let me think...what usually comes next....guys telling you about themselves? "So I just recently divorced my 9th wife, I gots me 12 kids (only three in jail)! But ya know what? My life is really turning around! I just got me a part time job at the sizzler!" --------- Haha okay I can't keep typing like that lol. Anyway, if you couldn't already tell I'm not the average dating site guy and you seem like you might be different from the average dating site girl. I'm considering getting to know you. Talk to you soon, -Johnnyc

..more to come. Please post any feedback you have![/code]
No offense Johnny, but that script looks pathetic - the fact is it comes off as sounding like you're overly invested in online dating as if it's your only option; that's what the girl will read it as and I know this because I've met many women online and we laugh, together, at the long-winded bs some guys write. Keep it short, light, and simple - HUMOR is essential.
Author:  jurupa [ Fri Oct 21, 2011 1:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
We are in agreement :). I'm not bashing online dating in this post, simply stating some real concerns and looking to address them.
I know your not bashing it. :) Didn't mean to come off as you where. I was more posting a different view/side really.
Quote:
Though most profiles take about 5 to fully read! Got any female friends who use online dating? Ask them to let you watch them use it. You'll see what I mean. They disqualify e-mail messages in phases. First the subject line, then the picture, then a skim. About 1 seconds, 5 seconds, 10 seconds respectively. You have just spent maybe 5-10 minutes reading and responding to a profile and the recipient spends 10 seconds rejecting you. The approach I summarized (and will detail once its refined) will rectify this.
I do have a couple female friends who use online dating. And I am quite aware of how they go about things. Yes on average girls spend less time per guy, but spend more time on the site over all due to the number of messages they get. I at most spend 5 minutes on a profile. As majority of the time I will use a premade up opener of mine and spam those.
Quote:
Please DO let me know how you succeed with it and any tweaks you found successful.
Will do.
Author:  jurupa [ Fri Oct 21, 2011 1:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Economics of Online Dating
Quote:
Quote:
Hi guys,

I troll these forms a lot, time to contribute something. This will be a work in progress

The Economics of Online Dating
Online dating is NOT an advantageous arena for men to compete in. Without cutting it down to deeply, here are a few factors that go into it:

1) There are more men than women on online dating sites
2) Most men on these sites do NOT know what they are doing
3) Women can be more selective and judgmental online

Women as the Selector
This equation is simple. Due to points 1 and 2 above, women fall into the selection role.

Time investment equations
Women: Low Investment, High Return
Men: High Investment, Low Return

What is this? Well simply put:

A man will take the time, read the woman's profile, take even MORE time and write out an email to her.

A good looking woman logs in and has literally hundreds (or thousands!) of emails to look through. She can skim the message, look at the pictures, and decide if she wants to respond or delete. Women can do this in literally SECONDS and disqualify men easily based on things like spelling and punctuation making men have to spend even MORE time to get a return.


So how do we combat this?

The global message!
Take a message like this one, and just blast it out there. It has to be general enough that it requires little / no modification between profiles. I'll be honest I have tested this one myself and only get about a 10% positive response rate on OKC but then, I'm an ugly mofo :).

I'd be interested to hear and tweaks the community has to offer / results you get.
Code:
[Insert one or two sentences about her profile. Example if she said shes originally from Chicago I'd say: "Okay before we go ANY further I need to ask you a question: Chicago or NY style pizza? Keep in mind your answer will have a huge effect on my interest in you!"] Oh wait, I'm supposed to be writing a boring, average introduction e-mail right? Not talking about [x]. Ooops haha! So how do they all go again? Just "Hey baby!" Or maybe a bit more adventurous: First a compliment right? "YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!" - I also remember to keep everything in caps! Wait...I forgot to misspell half the words... Then a pathetic attempt to rationalize why you should like me..."Wow we have sooo mach in comon" - See I misspelled words that time! Then let me think...what usually comes next....guys telling you about themselves? "So I just recently divorced my 9th wife, I gots me 12 kids (only three in jail)! But ya know what? My life is really turning around! I just got me a part time job at the sizzler!" --------- Haha okay I can't keep typing like that lol. Anyway, if you couldn't already tell I'm not the average dating site guy and you seem like you might be different from the average dating site girl. I'm considering getting to know you. Talk to you soon, -Johnnyc

..more to come. Please post any feedback you have![/code]
No offense Johnny, but that script looks pathetic - the fact is it comes off as sounding like you're overly invested in online dating as if it's your only option; that's what the girl will read it as and I know this because I've met many women online and we laugh, together, at the long-winded bs some guys write. Keep it short, light, and simple - HUMOR is essential.
You surprise how some of the longer bs works. Tho I agree to keep it short and sweet.
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