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| AA conquered enough- now fear of rejection help https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=95899 |
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| Author: | Pierce 007 [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | AA conquered enough- now fear of rejection help |
I got over fear of approaching finally by saying excuse me and asking for directions for some relevant location (night club, coffee shop, where to buy a suit ). But now Im bored of this understandably and since trying to break into new ground of conversation and having things pop in my head at the necessary time, I have identified the underlying cause of paralysis - FEAR OF REJECTION. Fear of her not wanting to talk to me about normal stuff after asking for directions- which is a perfectly normal thing to ask. Just thinking about this and watching videos of guys getting past the initial opener and into conversation almost brings me to tears- no shit. I think I want this so bad Im killing my chances of just thinking rationally in the moment- any ways of getting through this bit? |
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| Author: | Troyden [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Dude, I think like this, There are around 3 billion females, in the entire world, and you are going for one at a time, so if the one you are going for rejects you, it's no biggie because you have another 3 billion to choose from  So, if the one you are going for rejects you, even where you are at the minute, you will be surrounded by beautiful females, and you can choose any one of them to game  Hope this helps, Peace, Troyden
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| Author: | bob popular [ Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | A quick-fix and two reframes to get past fear of rejection |
This was a topic of particular interest for me because I was able to blast past AA fairly quickly, but was stopped for a long time by THE FEAR OF BEING SEEN FAILING WITH, AKA BEING REJECTED BY WOMEN. First of all, a quick-fix for me was to go out in places where I didn't know anyone, so my friends couldn't see me, if I failed or not. First Reframe: The fear of rejection comes from an ideal of perfection. Many, if not most guys want to be the Super-PUA who gets every girl he wants. That being the case, it is natural to fear being rejected because it would destroy this self image of perfection that you have of yourself. I changed my goal of becomming the five-for-five Super-PUA to that of being the crazy, fun-loving guy who instantly, fearlessly and unashamedly takes a shot with every girl he finds interesting. The guy who goes direct (tempered with humor/playfullness) with every girl, the result of every pickup attempt being laughter from him, the girl(s) and the people watching. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but failure or rejection is nothing to fear because it is part of my new self image. And, as we all know, IF YOU APPROACH OFTEN ENOUGH, YOU WILL GET WOMEN, so I still do win in the end, its just that I have more fun in the process, even when I do get rejected. Second Reframe: Less powerful than the first reframe, but still very useful for people afraid of being seen getting rejected, especially in well-lit and quiet venues. Instead of seeing a crowd of people that are going to watch me make a feeble attempt at an approach or number close and laugh at my expense, I see a group of people who wish they could be part of what happens. I see the women as being jealous of my target and wishing that someone would be attracted enough to them to walk up (especially daygame) and directly or semi-directly approach them and I see the men as admiting to themselves that they found the girl I approached attractive and wishing that they had the confidence to act out their desires. |
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| Author: | Pierce 007 [ Fri Jul 15, 2011 9:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yeah I'm finding this PERFECTION ideal is what I always start out with in any new endeavor and then the realization comes that its never that easy! Reality is always a big kick in the kahoonas which is why 'man up' always springs up. But really its all down to facing my fears (fear being there to protect me) and just a case of desensitizing by continuous exposure to the thing that scares me- so yes ile go out and just chat to girls that interest me and slowly realize theres nothing to be scared of. Ive discovered that the directions opener is the easiest opener on earth, but then continuing the convo someone said to do an opinion opener, then make fun about something she said (risky but not offensive) and try and pick on a hook from what she says. So, (sorry these are my internal thoughts) if I do directions opener, then ask an opinion about the place Ive just asked about , look for hooks and ask her about them or be playful about something she said- taking on board what you said about fear of rejection- then i could be chatting for ages without fear. Cool will do! |
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