PUA Forum :: General clingyness

I seriously mean this, and am not trying to be a dick...

Think before you speak. If you are making this observation in retrospect, there is no reason you can't just slow down a bit (which is good anyway), and realize it before the words come out. Self-awareness, not to be confused with self-consciousness

I've noticed this about myself a lot. I don't get emotionally, or mentally clingy, but the things that I say and the frequency that I say them sound really clingy. It's bugging the hell out of me! How do I fix this problem of mine?

Quote:

It's really true what you're saying, slowing down your talk and thinking about what you're gonna say helps alot, but sometimes it will still sound awkward due to the pitched or tensioned voice or wrong intonatin it comes out. At least that's what i experience with my social anxiety.
I've now learned to slow down and thinking before saying, but it still doens't prevent me from having my words come out with that uncomfortable, anxious nervous high tension voice.

Which makes things even weirder lol... With my self awareness there is also self consciousness ..!

Anyways goodluck

Author:	Shadowarror [ Wed Jun 08, 2011 8:00 am ]
Post subject:	General clingyness
I've noticed this about myself a lot. I don't get emotionally, or mentally clingy, but the things that I say and the frequency that I say them sound really clingy. It's bugging the hell out of me! How do I fix this problem of mine?

Author:	DarkwingDuck [ Thu Jun 09, 2011 2:31 am ]
Post subject:
I seriously mean this, and am not trying to be a dick... Think before you speak. If you are making this observation in retrospect, there is no reason you can't just slow down a bit (which is good anyway), and realize it before the words come out. Self-awareness, not to be confused with self-consciousness .

Author:	egocentricfear [ Fri Jul 29, 2011 9:36 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I seriously mean this, and am not trying to be a dick... Think before you speak. If you are making this observation in retrospect, there is no reason you can't just slow down a bit (which is good anyway), and realize it before the words come out. Self-awareness, not to be confused with self-consciousness . It's really true what you're saying, slowing down your talk and thinking about what you're gonna say helps alot, but sometimes it will still sound awkward due to the pitched or tensioned voice or wrong intonatin it comes out. At least that's what i experience with my social anxiety. I've now learned to slow down and thinking before saying, but it still doens't prevent me from having my words come out with that uncomfortable, anxious nervous high tension voice. Which makes things even weirder lol... With my self awareness there is also self consciousness ..! Anyways goodluck

Author:	Furor [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 3:21 am ]
Post subject:	Re: General clingyness
Quote: I've noticed this about myself a lot. I don't get emotionally, or mentally clingy, but the things that I say and the frequency that I say them sound really clingy. It's bugging the hell out of me! How do I fix this problem of mine? Could you give an example of a conversation in which this problem has popped up for you? I'm just an rAFC, but I'll offer some advice, and I'm going to make a bit of an assumption here. If anyone wants to say I'm wrong and why, that's great, as the two of us will be getting some help! Never say you need something from another person, it conveys weakness. To go with the PUA show, some of them had a habit that really got on my nerves. "I need your opinion on something, if a girl is drunk and kisses one of her girlfriends at a party, is it cheating?" Saying you need their opinion is automatically a DLV on your own opinion.

Author:	nnguy625 [ Wed Aug 03, 2011 6:24 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: I seriously mean this, and am not trying to be a dick... Think before you speak. If you are making this observation in retrospect, there is no reason you can't just slow down a bit (which is good anyway), and realize it before the words come out. Self-awareness, not to be confused with self-consciousness . It's really true what you're saying, slowing down your talk and thinking about what you're gonna say helps alot, but sometimes it will still sound awkward due to the pitched or tensioned voice or wrong intonatin it comes out. At least that's what i experience with my social anxiety. I've now learned to slow down and thinking before saying, but it still doens't prevent me from having my words come out with that uncomfortable, anxious nervous high tension voice. Which makes things even weirder lol... With my self awareness there is also self consciousness ..! Anyways goodluck & Quote: I've noticed this about myself a lot. I don't get emotionally, or mentally clingy, but the things that I say and the frequency that I say them sound really clingy. It's bugging the hell out of me! How do I fix this problem of mine? I am going to emphasize on what DwD said into further details. Think before you speak, question yourself, "what is the purpose of repeating the things that I said? What point am I trying to get across? Why am I repeating it so much? Is it that important? Why is it so important?" Sometimes just shutting the eff up and listening to what others has to say is better than saying something that makes you look bad (clingy, etc.) I personally do not believe in talking too much, but I personally believe in saying stuff that really matters and would make an impact. Slowing down is also very important because it allows you to think better too. Okay for the other one, your high pitched and tensed does not have anything to do with slowing down, it has to do with your anxiety and your beliefs about slowing down. The only way to improve this is to be comfortable in your own skin in any situations. I recommend recording yourself and listen to yourself. You shouldn't really care about what you say, because that's not the point. What you should worry about is how you sound. Consciously try to make your voice lower and record it again. Lower your voice, slow down, do step by step. If you want to lower your voice worry about that first, then on the next recording slow it down. Do it over and over again until you feel better and confident about your own voice. This is an exercise where you train your vocal muscles to develop this muscle memory to talk slow, clear, crisp, and precise. This is an art which with constant and consistent practice, you will become better. I hope this helps. Good luck. - Nelson

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