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| problem with group dynamics https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=89718 |
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| Author: | Tidus20 [ Thu Apr 14, 2011 11:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | problem with group dynamics |
Hi there! I noticed something that is really starting to get on me. I have been to many social groups and the thing i find is that the more time i pass with them the worst for me. I don´t have problems talking to strangers or talking with a person that i barely know, but i have a big sticking point which is problems with long-term conversations. After they know me in a group, my value goes down very quick, maybe the justification is that i can´t have fun in a group because i am allways thinking that people don´t respond me very well or because i am not enough entertaining or maybe what i talk about is too much predictable. What i am sure, is that all this affect my inner game and all the groups that i am in, i get ignored very fast. I have tried to change groups, but the thruth is, despite my efforts i end up get ignored allways. |
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| Author: | Tiger6Niner [ Fri Apr 15, 2011 2:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
what gets you accepted into the group in the first place? |
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| Author: | Tidus20 [ Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Common interests or same nationality. For instance, group with people from college or soccer time or because the group has people from same country. |
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| Author: | Tiger6Niner [ Sat Apr 16, 2011 9:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
same nationality wont take you very far in any group. how strong are your interests? do you just like soccer or follow it passionately? are you often involved in group conversations? dont worry about what they're thinking about you or that will just play on your mind and you'll trick yourself into believing that. |
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| Author: | Tidus20 [ Sat Apr 16, 2011 5:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I play in a soccer team and i love it. To be honest i dont often get into group conversations. I don´t even remember the last time i had a decent conversation with anyone. I try to not worry, but i can´t. When i am in a conversation and people don´t talk with me i start to think that there are something wrong with me or after a meeting and it didn´t go well (i start to lose confidence on my social skills) i think too much about that. One thing i also realized was that i love to get people´s attention, so when that doesn´t happen i get into a really bad state of mind. |
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| Author: | Tiger6Niner [ Sun Apr 17, 2011 9:45 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
it sounds like you're just not getting involved enough in the group, probably because your fear holds you back from conversation. most people feel more comfortable and are more talkative amongst their friends than they are with strangers. work out why you arent afraid to talk to strangers and then adapt and apply the reason to your social groups. |
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