PUA Forum :: When you've been shy your WHOLE LIFE how do you change that?

p.s thenightfox is wrong... looks is not 75%... also it is possible to change no matter on your age.

thats fair. but you are what you perceive. I am by far not the best looking guy in the world, and I used to be dead shy... but I worked on myself and I am much more confident now. A few good approaches can work wonders!

I'm in almost the same situation as you are in. I've been terribly shy all my life, even the first two years in college. But then I had a few internships in Finance, that sort of forced me to talk to seniors and other interns. I have to say, those made a huge impact. Apart from being shy with girls, I'm also not extremely confident with guys that I feel are 'better' than me in any respect, be it looks, success etc.

That being said, I have been moderately successful with girls in the past. I'm 22 and I've had 9 lays so far, ranging from HB6 to HB8. Apart from increasing this number, I also want to increase the quality.

Here's what my plan is for the next 3-6 months.

1. Force myself to go to any and every social event, that would present me with an opportunity to engage in conversation with anyone- young, old, bloke, gal. With no intention of getting anything in return. Just master the art of conversation at first. And overcome my AA. This would help you in almost all fields in life- professional, PUA, relationships etc.

2. The next would be practice this with chicks only. Start with HB6 and 'utilize' them to the fullest. Practice all sorts of game you'll learn from here on these poor lasses. Just don't treat them too bad. Karma is a bitch.

And then gradually work your way up to HB10.

Sounds easy, but YOU HAVE TO TAKE INITIATIVE. NO ONE ELSE CAN DO IT FOR YOU.

And I've heard a lot of success stories, like complete transformations- from super shy to a charmer. Not sure how many of those are really true, but I'm sure a fair bit definitely are.

Plus, think of it, you have nothing to lose at all. If anything, you'll only get better from your current situation. So go for it!

and for the record,looks are 75% of the interaction,15% is the money,and 10% is about the "pua shit".

What you said is true,but theres a problem,if the guy is REALLY,i mean REALLY shy,going to social event by himself isnt gonna do any good for him,cause he is probably gonna be the one standing on the corner of the wall,without talking to ANYONE,and that sucks.
But,if you have a trusted friend,that would be different,he can help you in these parties and etc.

Quote:

and for the record,looks are 75% of the interaction,15% is the money,and 10% is about the "pua shit".

Partialy agrred, BUT not about looks, take an example:
Hugh Hefner, he certainly ins't good looking (84 years old man, who can hardly walk without a stick), but he's got tons of cash and he gets girls.

And lets put money aside, if you take ''average joe'', he can be mister universe good looking, but if the girl isn't having fun with him, if he can't say anything else than ''yyyyou arrre beeeeautiful.'' he's fucked.

Like Sinn sais, if the girl is having fun with you, you can be: looser of men, deselected by women and destroyer of loved ones, it doesn't matter and that's where those in my opinion 80% of ''pua shit'' comes in.

Quote:

If the guy is REALLY, I mean REALLY shy, then going out (even by himself) is a huge step for him, he made himself to go out of the house, most shy guys don't do that (I know, cause I used to be one of them) and just thet makes a difference in his inner game, however, like you said if you have a friend that helps you to get over your social anxiety by boostnig you up and pushes you, where it's hard for yourself to push, I think this is one of the most valuable things he can do for you and you can do for yourself

Author:	natedizzle [ Sat Mar 05, 2011 5:34 pm ]
Post subject:	When you've been shy your WHOLE LIFE how do you change that?
I'm trying to work on my inner game because my whole life I've been a victim and a wussy, I thought my looks were all that mattered and wondered why I never got any girls, and it's because I never said a word. I let people walk all over me and take advantage of me even when I didn't want to hang out with them. Well I want to change that, I stopped hanging out with all the negative people in my life but I live in a small town so it's impossible to avoid them. Whenever I hangout with them I'm super shy and I unconsciously try to seek approval, when in eality I just want to be me and not care what they think. This might be kind of confusing but I'm just asking if I can stop being shy where ever I go, even if it's with people I've been shy to my whole life?

Author:	BrianFL2 [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 12:21 am ]
Post subject:
what to do, what to do..... depends how bad it is. From what you describe I think seeking a psychologist would help. If you have severe social anxiety I would see a psychiatrist because that is a diagnosed illness and there are SPAM for it. After you do that, or if you don't need that, you have to do what everyone else does. You have to force yourself to go out in public and talk to strangers.

Author:	thenightfox [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 4:21 am ]
Post subject:
depending on your age,you probably wont be able to change it at all. anyway,theresnt much you can do man,just PUSH youself hard into situations you havent been before,night clubs,starting random talk with girls at the mall or in a store,things like that. and for the record,looks are 75% of the interaction,15% is the money,and 10% is about the "pua shit". give it a try,and take that ass out of that chair,do something out of your confort zone,im waiting for you feedback.

Author:	ascot [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 4:24 am ]
Post subject:
I have known people that were shy and then all of a sudden they became super confident. People automatically say go see a psychologist, but honestly it's your frame of mind. You just need to work on yourself and believe in this stuff.

Author:	ascot [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 4:27 am ]
Post subject:
p.s thenightfox is wrong... looks is not 75%... also it is possible to change no matter on your age.

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Author:	thenightfox [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 4:34 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: p.s thenightfox is wrong... looks is not 75%... also it is possible to change no matter on your age. always possible,but the chances are not big. imagine a guy who is 30,and virgin,do you really he is gonna become confidant in one day? and i respectfully disagree with you,cause as far i know by what ive seen,and my experience,looks are 75% of the interaction,so,if the guy isnt handsome,hes got 25% to work with,and he will probably need some luck to get the girls.

Author:	ascot [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 4:49 am ]
Post subject:
thats fair. but you are what you perceive. I am by far not the best looking guy in the world, and I used to be dead shy... but I worked on myself and I am much more confident now. A few good approaches can work wonders!

Author:	thenightfox [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 5:25 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: thats fair. but you are what you perceive. I am by far not the best looking guy in the world, and I used to be dead shy... but I worked on myself and I am much more confident now. A few good approaches can work wonders! You may not be best looking guy on the planet,but i doubt you are freaking ugly. and I guarantee,the only reason you stopped being shy,and got more and more confidant is because you HAD SUCESS,cause if you were getting tons of rejections,and always failing,it would be a different story. A few approaches can do wonders,yeah. But a few approaches can also put the guy in a worse position than the one he started.

Author:	Flamezz [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 10:06 am ]
Post subject:
start up low and go on to the top like start with a 6 or so and finally you have the confidence to approach a 10 at the end i'm currently trying this and its working out a little for me (there is also an audio program to give you confidence, try it )

Author:	echnarcissus [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 10:50 am ]
Post subject:
I'm in almost the same situation as you are in. I've been terribly shy all my life, even the first two years in college. But then I had a few internships in Finance, that sort of forced me to talk to seniors and other interns. I have to say, those made a huge impact. Apart from being shy with girls, I'm also not extremely confident with guys that I feel are 'better' than me in any respect, be it looks, success etc. That being said, I have been moderately successful with girls in the past. I'm 22 and I've had 9 lays so far, ranging from HB6 to HB8. Apart from increasing this number, I also want to increase the quality. Here's what my plan is for the next 3-6 months. 1. Force myself to go to any and every social event, that would present me with an opportunity to engage in conversation with anyone- young, old, bloke, gal. With no intention of getting anything in return. Just master the art of conversation at first. And overcome my AA. This would help you in almost all fields in life- professional, PUA, relationships etc. 2. The next would be practice this with chicks only. Start with HB6 and 'utilize' them to the fullest. Practice all sorts of game you'll learn from here on these poor lasses. Just don't treat them too bad. Karma is a bitch. And then gradually work your way up to HB10. Sounds easy, but YOU HAVE TO TAKE INITIATIVE. NO ONE ELSE CAN DO IT FOR YOU. And I've heard a lot of success stories, like complete transformations- from super shy to a charmer. Not sure how many of those are really true, but I'm sure a fair bit definitely are. Plus, think of it, you have nothing to lose at all. If anything, you'll only get better from your current situation. So go for it!

Author:	Znak [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 1:20 pm ]
Post subject:
Try a crazy hairstyle (mohawk or something). I had a weird hair style, everybody looked at me, tested me, tried to fight with me. Interesting experience. It won't cure your shyness but it's one step forward.

Author:	thenightfox [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 3:57 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I'm in almost the same situation as you are in. I've been terribly shy all my life, even the first two years in college. But then I had a few internships in Finance, that sort of forced me to talk to seniors and other interns. I have to say, those made a huge impact. Apart from being shy with girls, I'm also not extremely confident with guys that I feel are 'better' than me in any respect, be it looks, success etc. That being said, I have been moderately successful with girls in the past. I'm 22 and I've had 9 lays so far, ranging from HB6 to HB8. Apart from increasing this number, I also want to increase the quality. Here's what my plan is for the next 3-6 months. 1. Force myself to go to any and every social event, that would present me with an opportunity to engage in conversation with anyone- young, old, bloke, gal. With no intention of getting anything in return. Just master the art of conversation at first. And overcome my AA. This would help you in almost all fields in life- professional, PUA, relationships etc. 2. The next would be practice this with chicks only. Start with HB6 and 'utilize' them to the fullest. Practice all sorts of game you'll learn from here on these poor lasses. Just don't treat them too bad. Karma is a bitch. And then gradually work your way up to HB10. Sounds easy, but YOU HAVE TO TAKE INITIATIVE. NO ONE ELSE CAN DO IT FOR YOU. And I've heard a lot of success stories, like complete transformations- from super shy to a charmer. Not sure how many of those are really true, but I'm sure a fair bit definitely are. Plus, think of it, you have nothing to lose at all. If anything, you'll only get better from your current situation. So go for it! What you said is true,but theres a problem,if the guy is REALLY,i mean REALLY shy,going to social event by himself isnt gonna do any good for him,cause he is probably gonna be the one standing on the corner of the wall,without talking to ANYONE,and that sucks. But,if you have a trusted friend,that would be different,he can help you in these parties and etc. But like i said,going to social events is something hard for shy people,i believe that just approach random girls in the mall,or in the street and ask for the time or directions,maybe even throw a pickup line on them. From there you can move on to harder things.

Author:	Kupid [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 10:07 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: and for the record,looks are 75% of the interaction,15% is the money,and 10% is about the "pua shit". Partialy agrred, BUT not about looks, take an example: Hugh Hefner, he certainly ins't good looking (84 years old man, who can hardly walk without a stick), but he's got tons of cash and he gets girls. And lets put money aside, if you take ''average joe'', he can be mister universe good looking, but if the girl isn't having fun with him, if he can't say anything else than ''yyyyou arrre beeeeautiful.'' he's fucked. Like Sinn sais, if the girl is having fun with you, you can be: looser of men, deselected by women and destroyer of loved ones, it doesn't matter and that's where those in my opinion 80% of ''pua shit'' comes in. Quote: What you said is true,but theres a problem,if the guy is REALLY,i mean REALLY shy,going to social event by himself isnt gonna do any good for him,cause he is probably gonna be the one standing on the corner of the wall,without talking to ANYONE,and that sucks. But,if you have a trusted friend,that would be different,he can help you in these parties and etc. If the guy is REALLY, I mean REALLY shy, then going out (even by himself) is a huge step for him, he made himself to go out of the house, most shy guys don't do that (I know, cause I used to be one of them) and just thet makes a difference in his inner game, however, like you said if you have a friend that helps you to get over your social anxiety by boostnig you up and pushes you, where it's hard for yourself to push, I think this is one of the most valuable things he can do for you and you can do for yourself

Author:	thenightfox [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 10:53 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: and for the record,looks are 75% of the interaction,15% is the money,and 10% is about the "pua shit". Partialy agrred, BUT not about looks, take an example: Hugh Hefner, he certainly ins't good looking (84 years old man, who can hardly walk without a stick), but he's got tons of cash and he gets girls. And lets put money aside, if you take ''average joe'', he can be mister universe good looking, but if the girl isn't having fun with him, if he can't say anything else than ''yyyyou arrre beeeeautiful.'' he's fucked. Like Sinn sais, if the girl is having fun with you, you can be: looser of men, deselected by women and destroyer of loved ones, it doesn't matter and that's where those in my opinion 80% of ''pua shit'' comes in. Quote: What you said is true,but theres a problem,if the guy is REALLY,i mean REALLY shy,going to social event by himself isnt gonna do any good for him,cause he is probably gonna be the one standing on the corner of the wall,without talking to ANYONE,and that sucks. But,if you have a trusted friend,that would be different,he can help you in these parties and etc. If the guy is REALLY, I mean REALLY shy, then going out (even by himself) is a huge step for him, he made himself to go out of the house, most shy guys don't do that (I know, cause I used to be one of them) and just thet makes a difference in his inner game, however, like you said if you have a friend that helps you to get over your social anxiety by boostnig you up and pushes you, where it's hard for yourself to push, I think this is one of the most valuable things he can do for you and you can do for yourself cmon,you dont really believe this. lets take chace crawford for example(if you dont know him,google him). He doesnt have to speak A WORD,to have tons of girls ALL OVER HIM. He can even be the freak who has no friends,and cant talk to girls,yet HE WILL HAVE GIRLS HITTING ON HIM. Looks are what matter most in the interaction. Or,if the guy is a master of socialization or something,he will be able to get girls,even if he is the most ugly guy on earth. AND,if a girl is having fun with you,but you are fat,ugly,and disgusts her,SHE IS NOT GONNA KISS YOU. Instead,she is gonna go have "some fun",with that muscular and handsome ASSHOLE,who didnt speak A WORD with her ALL NIGHT.

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Author:	Radameister [ Mon Mar 07, 2011 1:30 am ]
Post subject:
learn MMA and go for nude runs. I have a friend who wips out his dick at will infront of everyone, i suggest you try that.