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Keep walking at the last minute
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=82808		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Fireball [ Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Keep walking at the last minute
This has happened several times so far:

I go to a bar and see a group of women. I collect my resolve, hype myself up, and go for it, but at the very last second before reaching their table, I hesitate and make a turn for the nearest exit. Once I've hesitated there is no turning back.

How can I get over this?
Author:  AIB [ Sat Jan 15, 2011 5:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'd suggest that hyping yourself up immediately prior to an approach is a bad idea.

Ideally you want to build yourself up into a sociable state over a longer period with friends/wings, then approaches become easier and openers delivered more naturally.

If you are standing staring at a set hyping yourself to approach then that is probably visible in your body language. If the set notice this they are going to be weirded out by you before you even open your mouth.

I'd say avoid long walk-up style approaches early on. Concentrate on opening sets in your immediate vicinity to build that social state.

PS: Take this advice with a pinch of salt, I'm a newb. :)
Author:  AFCmack [ Sat Jan 15, 2011 7:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
as said above avoid the hyped up approach it pumps a bit of adrenaline in there which is similar to the adrenaline from anxiety so can easily trigger anxiety instead.instead start warmup approaches at the start of the day for example talk to the dude in the elevator,talk to the shop assistant,ring an old friend,get directions from someone ,say hi to people as you walk past on the footpath, wave to hot chicks as you drive past,walk around the mall and smile and give eye contact to random people.
If you have anxiety: let your mind relax,drift and be distracted by letting it float from thought to thought not focusing on anything , your life is not in danger and being deflected by women is nothing new,so dont focus on how you feel or care as infield your subconscious is sending false fear sensations to your body.
although i can approach im still trying to close the deals so opening is all i can assist with mate.peace.
Author:  Keksman [ Sat Jan 15, 2011 8:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Your anxiety is unfounded. What's the worst that can happen after you approach: the girl with rabies bites you in the face, you step into a bear trap under the table? All unlikely. Worst case, you'll get rejected (usually quite politely) and move on as if nothing had happened. Rejection doesn't matter and presents a great opportunity to learn and progress. Just go do it, and keep in mind: you have nothing to lose but everything to gain. So do this a lot, keeping in mind that you can't bounce from set to set.
Author:  Fireball [ Sat Jan 15, 2011 8:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
With all due respect, "you have nothing to lose" is useless advice.

Anxiety has nothing to do with logic. If I believed I have something to lose and it wasn't worth the risk, I would not want to attempt to approach, or even be there.
Author:  _Jax_ [ Sat Jan 15, 2011 8:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Bring a friend who egg you on. Works real good.
Author:  AFCmack [ Sat Jan 15, 2011 9:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
where is the logicallity in turning away from a set in the last yard? unless one leg is shorter than the other or you already know the answer to your post then another possiblilty is the ego, perhaps when your hyping yourself up you say im the man im the man im the man so your brain in that hyped state will only look for evidence to support that belief and hence as you get closer your brain protects you from anything that would violate that thought.to get over it turn super wanker ego off be present live in the results of now.
peace.
Author:  Fireball [ Sat Jan 15, 2011 10:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
where is the logicallity in turning away from a set in the last yard?
That's exactly what I'm saying, it's not driven by logic.
Author:  AIB [ Sat Jan 15, 2011 11:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Fireball: You live in London which is probably the best place to be in the UK to learn this stuff. Find yourself some wings who are better than you and get out there. You can't cure AA by reading, so get off the forums!

I suffer from anxiety myself. I went out for my first ever sarge last Friday in Birmingham with a group from these forums. It's great to be with people who have the same goal as you and it really helps with motivation.

I was definitely the most shy of the group yet my wings had me approaching within 15 minutes of meeting them.

My first approach I ran after 2 girls down the street into an alley, I caught up with them. I had no idea what to say. I just smiled and said hello, they were freaked out and ran. I basked in the awkwardness.

I approached again and again, getting a little bit better each time and by the end of the night I realised I had a new and bigger problem, how to give enough value to hook a set.

I felt fear on every approach but it got a little less intense each time. DO NOT HESITATE, JUST DO IT. The more you hesitate the harder it gets.

Baby steps. The only problem you should be concerning yourself with right now is AA. Go out with a wing, open, bask in the awkwardness you feel, get blown out, RINSE AND REPEAT.
Author:  Keksman [ Sun Jan 16, 2011 8:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
where is the logicallity in turning away from a set in the last yard?
That's exactly what I'm saying, it's not driven by logic.
So you are getting my point. AA is completely illogical. If you can make yourself realize that, you can muster up the courage to approach. It still won't be comfortable the first few times, but after that you'll see how silly your AA was. Of course, you can insist on being afraid of the clown under your bed, even while knowing full well that he isn't there....
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