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My anxiety is killing me
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Author:  RAFC Dude [ Sun Oct 17, 2010 4:40 pm ]
Post subject:  My anxiety is killing me

I have a big problem. I have a huge anxiety to not only approach, but also to interact with women.

I'm a fun, fairly social guy living a good life. I have no problems talking with women until it gets sexual. I even go to the dancefloor. But when I know a girl is interested in me, I completely freeze.

Last summer, a girl was into me. We were at a club, and all my and her friends said I should kiss her, but I couldn't. I only danced once with her, and it was pretty awkward. I didn't really know what to say to her as well.

Another example. In a club I can sometimes notice girls dancing closer to me. But I can't do anything. My heart starts pouding fast and I just continue dancing or talking to my friends. If a drunk slutty girl approaches us, my friends start dancing with her but I can't. Most of the time I even go to the bathroom to avoid it.

This is preventing any form of succes I might have with girls. Some friends already called me gay for not making 'the move' with a girl (they're joking of course, but still). Did any of you have this as well? How can I overcome this?

Author:  Nova Casanova [ Sun Oct 17, 2010 9:24 pm ]
Post subject: 

Hey man,
I understand your problem.

What worked and still works for me when talking about working up the courage is the following.
When I think I should do something with a girl (open a convo, start dancing, etc.) and cannot work up the courage to really do it, I get annoyed and pissed on myself. Just as you do. When this happens a few times, I get so frustrated that I don't care about the risks of it (like being rejected) any more and then I just go for it.
I have to tell you that this doesn't happen always, it depends on my mood for example. When I'm tired I normally don't take any action with the girl.

I also gotta tell you that when you finally do what you want to do, whether you succeed or not, you feel proud and it will be a lot easier the next time.

I hope you get my point and I also hope it has been of any value for you.

Chès

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