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My Theory on Approach Anxiety
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Author:  Incubus69 [ Sat Aug 14, 2010 3:45 pm ]
Post subject:  My Theory on Approach Anxiety

I only have a couple of minutes before this library computer explodes on me. ha! Anyways, here we go.

Mystery's theory sounds all dandy but here's my theory. You can add yours in too! My theory is this - we learn AA. We learn AA from our earlier childhood, stemming from not talking to strangers in fear that they might kidnap us or whatever our parents told us from birth.

Also, ever notice little children would approach and say hi to almost anyone around the room without caring to whom they say hi to? Why is that? Maybe because they don't have AA in the first place! Which comes in conclusion to my theory again, that we learn it!

So we grow up right, we go talk to a new school and talk to new students and try to make new friends. We get rejected and feel bad. This bad feeling is then anchored to approaching new people. Now, we get rejected by women as we get older in high school or what not then we learn that approaching women = rejection then = funny feeling of anxiousness. See what I'm getting at?

Okay, in three seconds this damn computer's going to explode so I better type really fast before I get shards of glass in my eyes. Okay, now - so we got that out of the way.

So how do we over come the fear of approaching people? We'll time is up and I have to go but I'll post more about this later. Post your comments on this article on what you think!

Peace!

Author:  michael_darcy [ Sat Aug 21, 2010 3:37 pm ]
Post subject: 

Correct. You learn lots of things. It's called social conditioning. People don't have AA at birth.

Author:  Incubus69 [ Sat Aug 21, 2010 3:59 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thanks for the input! It would only make sense since Social Conditioning causes AA in the first place. If a male get's rejected by a woman thousands of times then the feeling of hurt, or anger, or depression is anchored to the association of women. So, anytime he wants to approach the woman he wants to he simply can't because he is in fear of rejection.

It's like kicking a dog a thousand of dogs and trying to earn a dogs trust again. The dog will end up vicious and aggressive. Same thing with people? Women rejects men, then men gets the notion that they're not good enough, then feel anger or depressed, then tries again then gets rejected again. Enough time of this, they will often result in anger towards women, or suicidal thoughts.

Especially, if they have been rejected by their mothers at birth. At birth, men look up to their mothers for love. When they don't get love from their mothers and later down in life, women they automatically associate that hurt from other women with their mother which causes anger inside of them. Just talking about my experiences. However, I'm getting better with that.

Hmmm...another example is if you would slap a baby and continue slapping him then you would raise his hand up to him he would automatically flinch. Right? Yes, why? Because he's conditioned to react this way. Behavioral conditioned to react this way.

However, all I have to say is thanks for the input and any more comments please post. Thanks! I rambled on a bit but hopefully my message is clear. :)

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