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My problem
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=6883		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Mike [ Fri Sep 14, 2007 10:28 pm ]
Post subject:  My problem
I know what type of things to say, and I know what type of things not to say or do. I generally have a pretty clear idea of the whole picture when it comes to picking up girls. I want to be social, I want to talk to people, and I'm usually not nervous.... I just can't think of what to say! Or, I think of the perfect thing to say 1 minute after already giving a boring response. And it's not around girls. It's around anyone, including family.

I know I'm gonna get hit with "grow balls" or "talk to everyone!!!" responses, but I need more than that. I have these moments with close friends once in a while, not just strangers. I used to think it was about confidence, but I don't think so anymore. Even when I'm confident I can't think of things to say. I hate it.

Was anyone here like this, and if so, what did you do to get better at forming non-boring responses?
Author:  theotherguy [ Fri Sep 14, 2007 11:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm going though the same thing. Before I use to be a very social person but out of no where this happen. I think its something in the water =P
Author:  negsta [ Sat Sep 15, 2007 11:11 am ]
Post subject: 
Mike, read Tyler Durden's article on social vibing, you'll understand exactly what you're doing in the future.
Author:  white_russian [ Sat Sep 15, 2007 11:39 am ]
Post subject: 
couldnt agree more with negsta, tyler durdens a social genious... he's got more than enough info to share, you could also just read around in all the other forums for advice on this kindu shit...

white_russian
Author:  niceguy [ Sat Sep 15, 2007 12:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
I had a major case of this when I was learning sales about
a year and a half ago.

It's called Rapport Building, but I was terrible at it.

After reading some of these replies, I will def. have to check
out Tyler Durden's stuff. I haven't ran across any of his
material yet. Can someone point me to a source?

Anyway, for me, I got over it by asking people who did it
naturally. Quite frankly, it has to do with their lives as a
whole.

If you're active and have lots of things to do to keep your
time occupied, then you have more than enough to talk
about. If you keep up to date with social gossip or the news,
it's something you can connect with somebody on.


Personally, I told all of my customers a canned story. Before
we proceeded to move from introductions to actually talking
about making a sale, I would tell them a story about myself.

When you talk about yourself, people are inclined to talk
about themselves as well.

Also, try to ask open ended questions. Usually when they are
giving you a long winded answer, something more than just
yes/no, then you can pickup on something they say and
continue the convo.

GL buddy
Author:  Bishop-pua [ Sat Sep 15, 2007 7:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
I was exactly like this.

One reason was because I followed the conversation. I allowed others to lead the topic. When this happens they are the ENTERTAINER and everyone else is just there to hear their stories. You can't complete with everyone on every subject.

What I found to be helpful is developing interesting stories. Stories that everyone wants to hear. I stragetically place these in conversations. Almost always someone will take the bait. Now I'm the leader "ENTERTAINER" even if someone else is trying to keep up they look try hard.

http://www.bishop-pua.com/DHV.html
Author:  Mike [ Sat Sep 15, 2007 9:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
I can probably memorize all types of stories and openers, but it's the in between stuff I have trouble with. It's having to think quickly of something interesting to say, getting past "yeah" "I know" "awesome" "uhhhhmmm, I dunno". It's the improvising. I was with my family two days ago, and most of the time I would just listen to the conversations around me. When I left, I hugged, kissed, shook hands with everyone and said "it was great seeing you". And although I really meant it, it didn't really feel natural. :?

I'm generally not an awkward person. My friends look up to me because I can be witty and incredibly funny under the right circumstances. I turned 17 recently, and I really just want to be able to have fun naturally around different people.

BTW, Tyler Durden's article on social vibing does give me a better grasp as far as going with the flow of whatever the conversation is. Thanks negsta.
Author:  Smurf [ Sun Sep 16, 2007 12:24 am ]
Post subject: 
How to do Fluff Talk:
http://www.fastseduction.com/guide/02_H ... luff.shtml

Tyler Durden:
http://www.bristollair.com/methods/auth ... urden.html
In particular read Social Vibing and Secret Society

More on Fluff Talk:
http://www.fastseduction.com/guide/02_H ... dont.shtml


Personally, what really helped me was understanding this:
You DON'T have to fill in the empty gaps. Be comfortable with silence. Just say something if you have something to say. If you don't have something to say, don't stand their racking your mind trying to think of something, let them fill it in.
Author:  Mike [ Tue Sep 18, 2007 8:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
I can fluff talk while I'm already in a conversation. But I just can't think of anything real funny or interesting right off the bat. I still really need help with this. Maybe it's just that I've hung around the same people too much, people who would laugh at the thought of me being a player. People who would find it weird if I did kino on them all of a sudden.

I just need tips on being quick, funny, and interesting with everyone or anyone.
Author:  sarcasm [ Wed Sep 19, 2007 9:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
the best thing i can think of is to ask questions. it's like the old saying, "everyones favorite topic is themselves" ask about her shirt say "my sister has that shirt" then tell a funny story about your sister. say to her "jeez ive been giving you all this information and you are taking me for granted!" (A neg of course; dont be too much of an asshole with it) then she'll talk. it's that easy. of course if you don't have a sister im sure you can think of something else
Author:  JMart [ Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
the best thing i can think of is to ask questions. it's like the old saying, "everyones favorite topic is themselves" ask about her shirt say "my sister has that shirt" then tell a funny story about your sister. say to her "jeez ive been giving you all this information and you are taking me for granted!" (A neg of course; dont be too much of an asshole with it) then she'll talk. it's that easy. of course if you don't have a sister im sure you can think of something else
agreed......and thank god i found someone from VA here lol
Author:  Mike [ Thu Sep 20, 2007 12:35 am ]
Post subject: 
It's not about knowing what to say around girls though. It's about trying to be charismatic and interesting with anyone, without awkward silences, without me laughing at my own jokes, without me giving one sentence responses.
Author:  Mike [ Mon Sep 24, 2007 9:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Anyway, what do you think would work for someone like me who doesn't say much? I have sooo many opportunities at school, but what I naturally say is boring, and I know that people would feel how unnatural it would be if I started pulling some PUA stuff out of nowhere.

For example, I just got a haircut, and most people were complimenting me, and I didn't know what to say other than "oh thanks". The problem is, I don't feel like I could have said anything other than that and still feel natural.

I need tips for being interesting and natural sounding, without people around me thinking that I'm trying too hard to be cool.

BTW, I'm not looking for things I could say or memorize. I wouldn't be able to be consistent. I need advice that would help me get a natural feel of being funny, interesting and knowing what to say around people that aren't close friends.
Author:  magicman1234554 [ Wed Sep 26, 2007 1:43 am ]
Post subject:  NERVOUS
I USED TO BE EXACTLY LIKE THAT DUDE AND I HATED IT. mY FRIEND WHOW AS GOOD WITH GIRLS GAVE ME ADVICE AN STUFF BUT I WAS STILL NERVOUS. THE KEY IS NOT TO ACRE I KNOW YOU HERA THAT ALOT BUT THINK OF IT THIS WAY. IF YOU DO IT AND GET REJECTED YOULL NEVER SEE THE PERSON AGAIN. i REALIZED I LIVE MY LIFE AND IF PEOPLE WONT EXCEPT ME THEN WHY WOULD YOU WANT THEM ANYWAY RIGHT. ASO DONT TAKE TO LONG TO APPROACH SOMEONE THATS WHEN YOU GET NERVOUS GIVE YOUR SELF 20 SECONDS TO THINK OF YOUR ROUTINE A MINUETE AT MOST NO LONGER THATS WHEN U GET SCARED YOUR NT ALONE DUDE U JUST HAVE TO FACE YOUR PROBLEM HEAD ON AND I KNWO U WILL BEAT IT I DID.
Author:  Mike [ Wed Sep 26, 2007 3:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: NERVOUS
Quote:
I USED TO BE EXACTLY LIKE THAT DUDE AND I HATED IT. mY FRIEND WHOW AS GOOD WITH GIRLS GAVE ME ADVICE AN STUFF BUT I WAS STILL NERVOUS. THE KEY IS NOT TO ACRE I KNOW YOU HERA THAT ALOT BUT THINK OF IT THIS WAY. IF YOU DO IT AND GET REJECTED YOULL NEVER SEE THE PERSON AGAIN. i REALIZED I LIVE MY LIFE AND IF PEOPLE WONT EXCEPT ME THEN WHY WOULD YOU WANT THEM ANYWAY RIGHT. ASO DONT TAKE TO LONG TO APPROACH SOMEONE THATS WHEN YOU GET NERVOUS GIVE YOUR SELF 20 SECONDS TO THINK OF YOUR ROUTINE A MINUETE AT MOST NO LONGER THATS WHEN U GET SCARED YOUR NT ALONE DUDE U JUST HAVE TO FACE YOUR PROBLEM HEAD ON AND I KNWO U WILL BEAT IT I DID.
So it sounds like you did it through practice. The thing is, it's not just when I'm nervous. It can be around friends. I can have trouble talking about stuff if it doesn't revolve around "in jokes" I've developed with certain friends over time.
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