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Conversation skills, Lack of them.
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Author:  Rostemarine [ Sun May 16, 2010 11:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Conversation skills, Lack of them.
Hi, let me explain myself.
I'll give you a background.
Since i was a child, i always had a trouble properly explaining myself while talking. Since my childhood i had problems of making a point, organizing normally ideas to a fluent conversation, and i cant tell a story in a good way, i always lost people i talked to in the middle of conversation. My ideas are unorganized, and so on.
Now with this problem is difficult to get along in social life. I wont say im not a social person, i have enough friends, i can fit in company, but i remain silent 80% of the time in conversations going, cause i understood, it will be better this way, because when i start talking, OR i wont draw the attention, no one will listen, OR i wont simply make a point. The only thing is keeping me fitted socially is being funny occasionally, doing funny stuff, but being funny is enough to keep flowing, cause its short outbursts of humor, and then i have nothing to add again.
So now relating to girls and pickup.
I am not afraid to approach a girl, not afraid to start conversation, not afraid to kino and so on.
But i cant simply keep on interesting conversation as i explained before, she either gets bored, or she wont understand the point, or i cant think of something to add. By the way it is also hard to keep on for me, as i run out of topics and talkativeness in the middle. Its like digging trough a rock for me.
My 95% of problems with girls comes from this.
As you see i have no problem of explaining myself in writing, cause i have enough time to think it trough, but when it comes to communicate in real-time it all goes wrong.
So if you could help me with this, give me some links on how to train speaking and making a point, how to keep up, and have conversation, it would be awesome. I've already searched for this kind of problem in forum, found couple similar but it wasn't really useful useful, cause i might be the severe case of the thing. Can someone help me out please ? :?
Author:  Chelios [ Mon May 17, 2010 11:05 am ]
Post subject: 
What most people will tell you, especially Rune if he is around, he is straight forward but speaks well is that, don't think, just act.

When in conversation, if it flows, instead of stopping and thinking, they wont really get bored, secondly you wont be wondering are you boring them.

If you think less, naturally you will get better.
Author:  Darkst0rm [ Sun May 23, 2010 6:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Something that's helped me is writing things down (pen and paper) that I'd like to talk about in the future. I used to have TERRIBLE story-telling skills, so I do this with the daily newspaper when I see stories that I find interesting. I'll take the story, put my own spin on it, condense it down to a 30-60 second story, then learn/memorize it. That way, I don't have to think so damn much about it. I already know the story, so all I have to concentrate on the the general flow of it.

Chance favors the prepared mind. :D
Author:  Hakuna [ Tue May 25, 2010 9:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Talk to homeless people. Talk to people who your not trying to impress, and you'll see that it's a lot easier to hold up a conversation. From homeless people, move on to telemarketers and work your way up. You'll see your conversational skills getting better, and you'll be able to interact more smoothly with people. As for saying interesting things, living an interesting life would help. Read more, work out, focus on your career, etc. Everything else will fall into place
Author:  Premierr [ Fri May 28, 2010 1:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
I used to be exactly like this, maybe even worse, and i quickly understood that to avoid embarrassing myself all the time i just had to avoid drawing attention to myself, so i just stopped talking. I immediately found out that was a bad idea, this just keeps getting worse if you don't do something about it.

BUT, to be honest, this is more about unlearning than learning. This can only happen for one reason, you think too much. So my advice is, just stop worrying, because the reason you mess up for example a story you are telling to a group, is because you notice all the attention you have, then you start to think "omg i better not mess this up" you start to think also like "shit now those 2 girls are listening too" etc. etc. Then you get nervous, start to stutter, repeat yourself, mess up the story etc. Trust me i have been there, i know exactly how it feels.

Again, the cure is just to TALK, don't think, this is easier said than done, basically because this is very related to inner game, nerves, anxiety and so on. I'm not saying this will fix it instantly, practice with this, practice is no use unless you practice the right way.

To summarize, all i'm saying is just talk without thinking, don't worry how many people are listening to you etc. just have conversations without worrying and you will get better.
Author:  michael1918 [ Sat Jun 05, 2010 7:04 am ]
Post subject: 
LOL at hakuna. seriously? talk to homelss people? haha.
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