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What if you KNOW you can get the girl but you are still shy
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=64067		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  yassay [ Tue Mar 16, 2010 7:50 pm ]
Post subject:  What if you KNOW you can get the girl but you are still shy
So, most of yall here say or think that not aproaching a girl is a matter of self confidence most of the time... but, what if you think and/or "know" you can actually get the girl you like. When you get the feeling like "yeah, she´s down with me" but you still get shy and you can´t aproach her.

That´s me a lot of times. I feel really shy, and man, I´m a musician, I play at crowded places and I rock it. But I get down and I get really shy. But I´m only shy when I have to aproach a girl that I don´t know, cause with girls I actually know that´s not how I act, I got no problem with that. My problem is aproaching a girl I don´t know, just that.

What you think about that?
Author:  Terry Duckwit [ Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hi Yassay, I think you are in the same boat as everyone else. I have just re-registered on this forum due to my own issues with approach anxiety.

I recently had an HB7 (maybe hb8) giving me signals to approach her, but I blew it. I did nothing like the AFC I am, and I recently overheard her saying she now has a boyfriend. When she was giving me ioi's she was single, but I gave her the impression I was not interested.

The only difference you have is that you know for sure you are losing out on pussy. That is a crying shame, but at the end of the day you are in the same boat as everyone else. I have come back here to work on myself as I am majorly depressed right now and have dealt with shyness / SA for all of my life. I hope you will work on your approach anxiety too.
Author:  yassay [ Thu Mar 18, 2010 5:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the reply!

And yeah, it´s crazy because I don´t have low self esteem or anything. I´m happy with myself and I feel like girls like me, but I´m just really shy when it comes to THE MOMENT.
Maybe I have an issue with rejection, who knows...
Author:  Pagey [ Thu Mar 18, 2010 6:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
yeah dude it might be just that. Why are you afraid of being rejected?
Author:  Melodical [ Thu Mar 18, 2010 8:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
[quote
Maybe I have an issue with rejection, who knows...[/quote]

If you're not interested in the girl then you don't have any fear of approach?

Such is the beauty of the "opinion opener" you aren't approaching as a potential suitor merely to elucidate a female perspective on something so there is no approach to reject,however if the target likes you they will keep the interaction going.If you are ignored then it's most probably an autopilot response because you have suprised them.
Author:  yassay [ Mon Apr 26, 2010 3:55 am ]
Post subject: 
My problem i snot that... i don't really know what it is... lol
Author:  SomeKindOfMonster [ Tue May 11, 2010 7:50 am ]
Post subject: 
Next time this happens to you, tell yourself: "If I can think of one good reason NOT to approach, then I won't approach. If not, I'll go approach her."

If you do think of a good reason, report back here and we can tell you how stupid it is.
Author:  Mr. LJ [ Thu May 20, 2010 7:47 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey bro I have the exact same problem as you. I see a lot of women look at me, my friends even tell me a girl is totally checking me out, and sometimes my friends have told me they know the girl is interested in me and i still cant sack up the courage to go over and talk to them. Most of the time I just keep telling myself "what am i going to talk about?"

I use to never have these problems a few years back. A couple years ago i started taking some anti-depressent and anti-anxiety meds, this past fall i stopped taking them and fuck me I have never felt so much anxiety before in my life!
Author:  Chelios [ Thu May 20, 2010 10:02 am ]
Post subject: 
Some of you guys need to start reading up on how the MPUA's started out, their age, how they were, get some background.

Secondly, read as much info as possible, best way I found to get rid of approach anxiety was routines.
Author:  Jinx88 [ Mon Jul 19, 2010 12:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
this happens to me a lot, it weird coz a lot of the time im more scared of approaching an interested hb than an uninterested one.
Author:  Terry Duckwit [ Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Maybe because we know that girl will accept us our minds start playing games about how we will do at the next level and if she might reject us for something else. Also because I have low self esteem, when I know for a fact that a woman is accepting me it challenges my ego's negative view of the world and leads to lots of inner tension. The human mind is a fuck up when it wants to be.

That must be it for some of us. We can handle it if we think we might be rejected, and can take the chance with approaching because that is our view of our place in the world. However, when a woman is definitely not going to reject us it challenges our negative belief and causes a mind fuck.
Author:  goodtimes09 [ Wed Jul 21, 2010 8:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
You can't know you can get a girl if you never tried.

It's like football. The play might be perfect on paper but can you execute it perfectly? You never know till the play is executed.

Also, people who are shy are people who are not sure of their value and therefore are unaware of how to act in the presence of other people who they perceive to have a high value.

You are in this situation because you are shy around girls because you think they have an inherently high value.

People do the same thing with diamonds but in reality a diamond is just a shiny rock. Nothing more nothing less.
Author:  Terry Duckwit [ Sat Jul 24, 2010 9:13 am ]
Post subject: 
Hi Goodtimes, if you are responding to me I meant she will accept you because she is being open and friendly. As in she will not give you a bitch shield or spurn your approach. I didn't mean ti is guaranteed she will date you. I take your other points though
Author:  OriginalPrankster [ Sun Jul 25, 2010 6:48 am ]
Post subject: 
I feel the same way bro. I have had super hot chicks trying to put the moves on me. Most of them I actually had crushes on, maybe they thought I was playing hard to get :) But anyways I would never do anything past eye contact, with a few exceptions. I always had confidence issues and self esteem problems. My dad actually told me that he wanted to make sure I wasn't such an introvert so he started teasing me a bit which destroyed my self esteem and confidence. I think we all have to get past the outside, quit caring what she looks like and get to know her. She might be a spoiled bitch, but you won't ever know unless you approach her. I know I'm sort of rambling now, but I actually had a worst case scenario come to life, I asked a girl out and she rejected me then told some of mine and her friends that I did and they all laughed about it. But then if she didn't care at all about it, why would she be telling other people? I am nowhere near as scarred as I thought I would be after that, I mean it was practically one of the worst things that could have happened without going to unrealistic or supernatural proportions.
Author:  goodtimes09 [ Mon Jul 26, 2010 5:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Hi Goodtimes, if you are responding to me I meant she will accept you because she is being open and friendly. As in she will not give you a bitch shield or spurn your approach. I didn't mean ti is guaranteed she will date you. I take your other points though
Sorry for the confusion. I was talking to the OP.
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