| PUA Forum https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/ |
|
| Confidence - Baby Steps https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=63850 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | DayTripper7 [ Sat Mar 13, 2010 12:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | Confidence - Baby Steps |
I don't profess to be the most confident person when gaming, in fact I've just requested advice on it! However, in a 'normal' or 'platonic', my job demands that I am confident as I am forced to present to rooms full of complete strangers and if I don't show confidence, they won't show their confidence in me. Therefore, here's some things I've learnt in my job that I believe will be of use to you guys: 1- Identify and approach the AMOG/central figure of the group. Whilst the easy and less daunting option may be to begin conversing with one of the fringe people with the intention of slowly edging into the group; it is unlikely. You will get stuck at base one. Approach the AMOG immediately, make them the sole subject of your attention and cement yourself. If you have the AMOG's attention, the attention of the group will follow. Once you are relatively confident you have the full attention, disperse your attention around the rest of the group. 2- Do not lose the initiative, getting it back is an uphill struggle. Whilst it's a cardinal sin to interrupt someone midflow or not let anyone else get a word in edgeways, it's important to always keep the inititiative and dictate conversation to your needs. 3- See above. Dictate conversation if your needs. If the topic matter is not to your requirement, try and look for a segue to change it. You can't just wade in and change the subject, it has to be done gradually. Equally though, you can't just stand there as a mute and wait for a suitable time to change the conversation. People will think you are weird. Strike a happy medium! 4- Talk with your hands. gesticulating will grab people's attentions - but maybe just as importantly, if you are gesturing with your hands; you are less likely to speak in a monotone. 5. Speak in front of a mirror, or better yet, record yourself speaking. How much do you say things like 'Personally' 'my 'me' or 'I'? Try to limit it, people are perceptive and will quickly become unresponsive if you are talking about yourself too much. 6. if you are still communicating on a group basis, using 'we' rather than 'I' often helps. The we doesn't necessarily refer to you and other people in the group that you're conversing with - often it's just a tool to make you feel less alone when in a group of strangers; this can also work as following: Rather than "I think XYZ, what about you?" Use: "My friend thinks XYZ, how about you?" This also helps as people ars less likely to give their honest opinion if you unequivocally state your own, so if you can pass your opinion off as the opinion of a non existent 'friend', you can later reert back and state that you agree with said 'friend' 7. Don't imagine everyone in their underpants. It doesn't really work. 8. If possible, try to manoeuvre yourself into a situation where you are sitting whilst the majoity are standing. This displays that you are the focal point. If you are the only one sitting down wilst everyone stands, you may wish to stand at some stage as people often feel awkward standing whilst those are sitting. Make it clear that standing is a magnanimous gesture to put them at ease - you're the consummate gentleman. 9. Never approach a group who are all sitting if there is no space for you to sit with them also. One person standing whilst the rest sit is a disaster, you will never impose yourself on the conversation. 10. Finally, be yourself. Whilst it's good to prepare some openers etc. the fact is that especially with larger groups, the conversation won't follow a script so you're just going to have to freestyle. Ignore your sweaty palms, no on else can feel them! It will get easier each time. Hope this helps! |
|
| Author: | Mr E [ Sat Mar 13, 2010 5:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
hi, excellent post bro, thanks |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|