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| Not standard AA, but still crippling https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=57524 |
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| Author: | ID [ Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:16 am ] |
| Post subject: | Not standard AA, but still crippling |
hey guys, so here's the problem; a lot of times, the problem that I (and i assume others) have often isn't getting up the nerve to talk to strangers, but rather, summoning the will to even go out in the first place. i know that i can talk to strangers because i talk to plenty throughout my day, just because i love the sound of my own voice. but something about going out on the weekend just fills me with dread. fears of not having a good time, not closing, or watching others close insteas of me tend to keep me from going out, and even if i do manage to get out, i often feel uneasy and nervous while thinking about approaching. once I'm in a set, i tend to relax a bit and play the game, but the steps leading up to it are crippling me, and i often leave scenes early, cracking under the stress. Anyone go through this or know what to do about it? |
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| Author: | Quillex [ Fri Dec 11, 2009 9:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I'd say you're getting ahead of yourself with your fears. Go out, but don't go out worrying about "not having a good time, not closing, or watching others close instead of me." Just make it a goal to go out. If you just do that then you've succeeded. Keep it up, feel the fear--hell, embrace the fear--and eventually you'll realize that the things you feared were phantoms. One thing I used to do if there was no one to go out with or my friends wanted to do something I wasn't interested in was to go alone to bars with live music. There are a lot of places near me with no cover or a cheap cover. I'd go, stand or sit at the bar, listen to the band and have a drink. Yeah, it used to make me really self-conscious as if people were thinking, "that guy's alone. What's wrong with him?" Of course no one cared and I knew that, but I'd still be uncomfortable. Now I know it, feel it and believe it. Nowadays I go out alone sometimes just because I want to. In a couple of places I've gotten to know the bartenders and some regulars. It's a great feeling to walk into a place, shake hands with the bartender, make smalltalk, get my drink, then turn to a group and ask, "how do you guys know the band?" |
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