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Strangers in London are so hostile
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Author:  tiemnao [ Mon Mar 16, 2009 9:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Strangers in London are so hostile
I still have too much approach anxiety, so I tried to just casually talk to strangers when I'm out. Most of them seem to be very hostile and give very strong "stop bothering me asshole, don't you see I'm busy?" vibe, and they try to end conversation as soon as possible. Back when I lived in a small town I think people were much more friendly than that.

It's been rather discouraging so far. Any simple exercises for reducing AA without having to face hostility in addition to AA?
Author:  Jaybot [ Tue Mar 17, 2009 12:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
I have found this too as for AA just keep approaching and eventually it won't be an issue. As for the hostility, choose your targets well (no one in a hurry, no one going somewhere etc) but all in all in cities people don't chat.
Author:  charliedontsurf [ Tue Mar 17, 2009 10:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
That's England for you haha
Author:  Fedster [ Tue Mar 17, 2009 11:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
My two cents:

Try taking it away from the streets and onto other venues where people are obviously not busy.

Examples: The tube (just go round and round and talk to everyone who sits down in your vicinity)
The cue at McDonalds (or cinema. or wherever)
At the bus-stop. Those people are just waiting anyways.
etc etc

Basically anywhere where people are standing/sitting still, and obviously have nothing better to do than talk to a handsome, sexy PUA ;)
Author:  DABERNON [ Sun Mar 29, 2009 8:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Don't really have an answer for you.

I have to agree - I am a Londoner - London is a very busy place and people have agendas - we are used to sitting on tube trains avoiding eye contact - sometimes being crushed face to face standing in trains without talking to each other.

I now work on the south coast in a small town. I get impatient because when I try to pay for something the cashiers are taking so long chatting to the person they are serving.

It's not you - it's London.

My only suggestion is to try to be very selective when you talk to people and try to get the vibe that they are not in a hurry and what you say is short and snappy and relevant. If it's funny - it will be more acceptable.

Fortunately or unfortunately London is going to change - the same people would respond differently if you met them in an evening class or some situation where they consider it more normal to engage in conversation with someone they haven't met before.
Author:  charliedontsurf [ Sat Apr 18, 2009 11:25 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I have to agree - I am a Londoner - London is a very busy place and people have agendas - we are used to sitting on tube trains avoiding eye contact - sometimes being crushed face to face standing in trains without talking to each other.

I now work on the south coast in a small town. I get impatient because when I try to pay for something the cashiers are taking so long chatting to the person they are serving.

It's not you - it's London.
Yea I used to live in Newcastle and although there was widespread hostility within the general public it was never as bad as in London. I guess its the same as with caged animals, there's too many people together in one place and that breeds a very hostile SPAM. I heard a story (not sure how true it is) about a guy getting stabbed to death on the Underground while people just continued to read their books and newspapers or stare straight ahead.
(Most) people in general are very hesitant to get involved with other people because they simply do not care about them enough, so, in this case, it's definitely not you, it's them.
Author:  desertfox565 [ Sun Apr 19, 2009 10:28 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey man,

I'm not sure if this will works out there, but it works in my country.

What I found is that, even individuals that seems to be really hostile (beggars, punks, homelesses) They will respond to you really well, if you smile to them first.
I used to had crazy AA, I would never ever approach somebody who's not smiling at me first. But after I tried to smile at them first and then chat them up, it changes drastically. They are more open, friendly and eventually helps you with your problem. You won't believe the result!!! Try it and tell me if it works!!

Hope this helps,

Best pal,
Steven ;)
Author:  eskwire [ Sun Apr 19, 2009 11:24 am ]
Post subject: 
London calling to the imitation zone
Forget it, brother, an' go it alone
London calling upon the zombies of death
Quit holding out-and draw another breath
London calling-and I don't wanna shout
But when we were talking-I saw you nodding out
London calling, see we ain't got no highs
Except for that one with the yellowy eyes

(credit: the Clash)
Author:  ricardo11 [ Sun Apr 26, 2009 6:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Depends where in London but on the whole, yeh they are quite hostile. But then again, most of the people have somewhere to be and its a very rushed, busy place. Plus theres so many people in London on the street trying to sell you something or tell you about there new pizza place etc. You gotta make sure you don't sound like one of those people!
You're best bet to start with is the parks and open public spaces. People seem much less stressed there and more likely to not just try and ignore you. Its also a lot easier if you are anxious cos theres a lot less people about!
Author:  Hypnomatt PUA Training [ Tue May 05, 2009 12:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
People in London are hostile, utter crap!

I have lived in London for a month now and I have found it the friendliest place in the world. The reason why is because I know how and when to talk to people and I do not have any approach anxiety.

Listen to me when I say approach anxiety is sooooooooooooooo easy to fix. Guys always put so much pressure on themselves by approaching girls in the street who are busy, or in clubs when they are with their friends.

I am currently editing an interview I did last week and I will post it up here when it is ready to download. I am a hypnotherapist and I specialise in working with PUA guys with approach anxiety and other issues. I am currently doing some work with PUA Training which is excellent!

Guys, confidence is so easy to get you just need to know how.

Will post the link ASAP

Matt Kendall
Author:  Terry Duckwit [ Thu Apr 01, 2010 9:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
People in London are hostile, utter crap!
I don't think it is utter crap. A high percentage of people in London don't make eye contact, seem to be suspicious and if you say Hi many of them will look away or stare at you like you are nuts.

Today, I went to South Kenton, which is just into Middlesex, and I got a higher percentage of people saying Hi back to me, and one guy waved.

None of this is going to stop me working on AA, but I think the general unfriendly nature of people going about their daily drudgery has to be taken into account.
Author:  thebigtone [ Wed Jan 11, 2012 10:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
I live in London.
Very hostile.
So what? You're Alpha and you have an awesome life, anyone that can't be bothered to say hello back just laugh and say 'Have a lovely day'.... next set!

BradP has got something like 18 exercises to rid yourself of emotional anxiety, i'm yet to find it!

I wrote this elsewhere, you may find it useful...

Separate the outcome from the approach. Approach simply to 'put a tick in the box and say I did it'. Don't approach thinking I hope she likes me and has sex with me.

Don't think, even if you have some lame approach like. eeeeerr hi. Anything is good man. You need to get this out of the way so forget the material and all that shit if need be, just walk up and say hi.
Or if you can and you're confident enough, memorize a pretty basic canned opener and go for it. Even if it dies from there just walk off, WHO CARES!!! You will never see them again!!

I find the best way I get over this (I still have massive problems myself) is to go out with a wing. and we will pick a girl and just say to each other go and approach her, then be hard on your wing. 'shut up, go away, go and approach' DON'T let them off, find a lair near you or someone to sarge with!

You also have the simple compliment and you don't even have to open, just build your confidence. ie. the chick is hot and she has some hot black shoes. Just walk up and say 'you're shoes are hot, then walk straight past! She might stop you and/or engage you or probably just say thanks and giggle. 'You're hair looks crazy, I love it' etc...

Finally you can approach for a 'genuine' reason. If the night is young and you're in some crap bar as you leave just approach ANY girl even if she is a HB3 with her gran and say 'Hey do you know where any other bars are? somewhere kind of upbeat' then just say 'cool, thanks' and walk off.

You don't need to F-Close everything you look at! JUST APPROACH!
Author:  mattbradp [ Tue Jan 17, 2012 10:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
It goes away (the anxiety or pain) with time (experience). So don't worry about it. But don't approach in obviously creepy way (even though some 'gurus' do so, still you shouldn't do it).

I'm all for BradP's stuff (TonyT above me) since I just opened a fansite dedicated to him :) But even without it, it goes away with experience as long as you don't provoke negative responses deliberately (deliberately being creepy as I wrote above).
Author:  thebigtone [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 6:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
mattbradp - You got a link to any good info of BradPs?
Author:  mattbradp [ Mon Jan 23, 2012 12:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
mattbradp - You got a link to any good info of BradPs?
Yes I run a fansite dedicated to him. Click the my homepage link below my post (next to the PM link). It has info on him, interviews etc.

I'm working to update as much as possible so if you or anyone has BradP related stuff to share, please PM!
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