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Jugglar's Method to destroy Aproach anxiety
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Author:  Lion Cub [ Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Jugglar's Method to destroy Aproach anxiety

Hello people,

Juggler is my hero. His advise on overcoming approach anxiety is to randomly phone people and ask for film recommendations. Not only is it effective against AA, but helps you identify and delete any tonality issues you have, and dramatically improve your social and conversational skills.

Phoning random people is quite weird, but there's no denying that it's a good emulation of what we're trying to achieve here. I advise you to buy a cheap mobile phone and call local land-line numbers off-peak . I've got to be honest, when I try doing this I get Approach Anxiety just by dialing the number, however, in terms of practice, the technique is infinitely better and much less nerve-racking than nakedly approaching HBs on the street, because you have an infinite amount of time to pull the trigger, there is no diminishing window of opportunity, and you can end the conversation anytime you want. You can also use a script.

Of course, I have to point out that malicious phone calls are illegal, so don't do it. Don't phone the same number multiple times because they will identify you as a nuisance caller (which is also illegal).

The method I do is slightly different from Juggler's. I phone up local businesses and make inquiries about their their company. For example, I might phone a boxing gym and ask whether Boxing makes a good hobby or not, and then I try to expand the conversation into areas such as favorite boxer, what other sports they follow, etc. The aim is to always build rapport and personalise the conversation.

Eventually, you will become very confident. Once you've conquered the fear of talking to random people on the telephone, you will be much better equipped to converse with random people in bookstores, Clothes shops, Bars, cafes, etc.

Does anyone think this is useful?

Author:  SUB-ZERO [ Fri Feb 13, 2009 9:56 pm ]
Post subject: 

Remember these lines and your AA should be gone forever!!

The only thing in life you will ever regret are the risks you didn't take.

People never fail, they just stop trying and give up.

You miss 100% of the shots that you don't take!

I have been blown out a bunch times but who cares. I would rather get blown out and learn something instead of wishing I had tried something but didn't have the balls to try. It feels good to know that I always try because I never have to think to myself I wonder what could of or should have happened. In my opinion the phone bit isn't the best. You need to learn to talk face to face with strangers. Get in the field today and ask at least 10 strangers what time it is. If you can't do this simple task, how are you going to game strangers who happen to be HBs?

Author:  Lion Cub [ Fri Feb 13, 2009 10:30 pm ]
Post subject: 

Self confidence comes from having a sense of control, and if you know that you can coax people into random and long conversations on the phone, then that skill should also be applicable in the field. It stands to reason that you will feel more self-confident and have less approach anxiety.

Just my opinion of course.

I definitely see what you mean about embracing failure. Try, fail
Try again, fail better
Try again, fail even better
Try again,succeed!

A black belt is a white belt who never gave up.

Author:  phantomxrider [ Mon Mar 30, 2009 2:52 am ]
Post subject: 

also, remember that you'll almost never see the same person twice ("almost" being the people you have in school). so go ahead, if you make an ass of yourself, you'll never see them again and you got a good example to fix.

Author:  Shadow Box [ Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:36 am ]
Post subject: 

I think it is an awesome idea. I saw something similar in the Stylelife Challenge book. The idea of calling random people on the phone will help spare your ego. I think the ego holds us back from doing a lot of the things that we fear. By calling somebody over the phone you make it less personal. You are not as likely to feel hurt if you get shot down because its not as personal. You won't get those self hurting beliefs that you didn't look good enough and you won't have to take into account body language. You can work on that later.

Author:  Rishi [ Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:13 am ]
Post subject: 

I always think the Juggler thing was kind of a hyperbole, but I really like the way you modified it. I'm going to give that a try!

Author:  -Achilles [ Sat Apr 04, 2009 5:40 am ]
Post subject: 

I read Juggler's method, and two thoughts come right away:

"WTF is he a retard?" and

"Ahá! I MUST try this!!"

haha definitely will.. though my phone bill will bite me next month haha

and as for SUB ZERO, I also like this motivator:

You can't have guaranteed success in anything, you can always fail.
But, You can have guaranteed failiure, merely by not trying at all.

or like the cool japanese guy says in F&F Tokio Drift, it's better to have 50% of something (target) than 100% of nothing (your AA)

truth is, today you don't have the girl. The very worst thing that can happen is that you go, fail and still don't have the girl. What's the lose?

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