PUA Forum :: Its not shyness, its cowardice!

Yeah that definetly is a good tactic. One of my, lets call it frustrations, is the complete lack of a wing man. I have friends and family members that are guys my age but they all are AFCs. No one even seems interested in taking the leap. I honestly say to myself " I'm not going out with this guy anymore because it is more like babysitting than anything else". I've said that so many times that I can only go out alone!

Being alone has it's advantages but it also has disadvantages - there is more freedom more flexibility and less embarassment when you fuck up. But I get the feeling that girls often judge a guy based on his circle of friends - and wether or not he is the alpha. There is also the lack of a 'brother in arms' to practice mutual motivation with etc. Whats really sad though is that being a loner seems to be the story of my life. If thats the case then I will have to work at getting a superficial group of friends, wing men, and basically sarging them to be my friends...but at the same time not depending on them too much as friends so that I'll get disappointed eventually.

But yeah...line 'em up and knock 'em down is definetly good practice.

Author:	Damage [ Tue May 15, 2007 3:24 pm ]
Post subject:	Its not shyness, its cowardice!
That's what I tell myself hoping to spark some motivation but it doesnt work, in fact it proabably makes it worse - All i know is that the longer I sit on the sidelines wishing I wasn't feeling like a pussy and eventually coming to the conclusion that after one more drink I'll feel better - the more pathtic and depressing the outing becomes. There's nothing like coming home feeling like a PUA failure wondering why sometimes I'm in the zone and why sometimes I just puss out. You know those nights where the cognitive wheels just won't spin. But then you get here and the answer is so simple. (See that girl that just looked at me, ill just go up to her and say "im a really shy guy, and even after all the progress with women's rights its still the man's job to break the ice - so I wqas wondering from a woman's point of view what can a guy like me do to seem charming and funny?") But usually in clubs you have to deal with sets and isolation and all that shit...and you need to go in with at least a brief game plan. Winging it usually gets you shot down, unless you are in that perfect state of inebriation where you are shitting gold and rubies... So yeah, thats my rant. Lack of confidance, shyness, cowardice whatever you want to call it is what seperates the men from the boys and women know this. Survival of the fittest, Mystery was right. If I get that through my thick skull maybe I get more success not just with women but out life in general. The problem is I dont want to fake it by being an extrovert, I wanna feel it and smirk at girls so they know it and it already starts to get them juiced up before I even say anything. Anyone know any good books on the subject?

Author:	Valence [ Fri May 18, 2007 3:39 pm ]
Post subject:
I'm tired of my friends one-itis. They broke up almost a year ago and he still always hangs around her.... problem is he is AFC. So I took the task of trying to transition him out of that bullshit. I jumped the gun a tad and he was too scared to use what I had given him. So I stepped back. My goal for him, open as many sets as possible (Goal was 20 that night, we hit 16) How was he suppposed to open them? All he had to do was say Hi, introduce himself and get their name. Then walk away. I even told him to walk away even if they wanted to talk. He had a mission and didn't have time for anything else. I felt this way if he knew he was not going to talk to them other than just getting their name he would be more comfortable doing it. I would do it once, then he would do it, then I would, then him.... First time ever that he just walked up to a hot strange girl and started talking to them was hard for him. But he did it. We positioned ourselves kindof close by the girls bathroom. Goal was to say hi to everyone. It went well and he was pretty stoked with what happened that night. Tonight, we will be doing the same. I suggest you do the same. Start slow, no expectations. Get used to it. After you do a bunch (Mystery suggests 250 times) you will not be 'afraid' of it anymore. Then you can up the game and have conversations. Books will only help so much. Much better to just get out there and do it.

Author:	Damage [ Mon May 28, 2007 3:37 am ]
Post subject:
Yeah that definetly is a good tactic. One of my, lets call it frustrations, is the complete lack of a wing man. I have friends and family members that are guys my age but they all are AFCs. No one even seems interested in taking the leap. I honestly say to myself " I'm not going out with this guy anymore because it is more like babysitting than anything else". I've said that so many times that I can only go out alone! Being alone has it's advantages but it also has disadvantages - there is more freedom more flexibility and less embarassment when you fuck up. But I get the feeling that girls often judge a guy based on his circle of friends - and wether or not he is the alpha. There is also the lack of a 'brother in arms' to practice mutual motivation with etc. Whats really sad though is that being a loner seems to be the story of my life. If thats the case then I will have to work at getting a superficial group of friends, wing men, and basically sarging them to be my friends...but at the same time not depending on them too much as friends so that I'll get disappointed eventually. But yeah...line 'em up and knock 'em down is definetly good practice.

Author:	Mr.Smooth [ Thu Jul 12, 2007 2:55 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Tonight, we will be doing the same. I suggest you do the same. Start slow, no expectations. Get used to it. After you do a bunch (Mystery suggests 250 times) you will not be 'afraid' of it anymore. Then you can up the game and have conversations. Books will only help so much. Much better to just get out there and do it. You will always have the fear, no matter how many times you do it. It's an evolutionary algorithm to prevent you being killed. However, it is not necessary. You can get used to it, but you can never really get over it. It's a survival instinct. A hard coded algorithm so to speak. I'm sure there are ways to upgrade this algorithm, though I am not sure how, but I will figure it out! Even Mystery gets the fear, check out this YouTube link: http://pl.youtube.com/watch?v=se__JQt54 ... ed&search=

Author:	Jam [ Sat Jul 14, 2007 7:30 pm ]
Post subject:
Dress up in something totally embarassing (i.e. S&M gear or like walk with a dildo in ure hand. Dont shower for a week and hit on men when u walk around into a mall. After that horrible experience anytime the shybug bites it wont be half as bad as that and just remind yourself that you lived through Worse and now your a PUA and think of the HB's uve closed and uill have no problems. As for finding balls to do the 1st part, lol just do it blind. Its more than the 3second rule for this just do it. If u hesitate uill fuck up and chicken-out. Its simple. The more u think the more the fear grows. The less you think and just do the sooner you realise that its not as bad as you think it was going to be. Most important tho is you must remind yourself why you dont care what the random people ure fucking with thinks of u. Also while you do it think about how funny this would be if it were videoed and put on utube or somthing. Lol. Its a little extream but fucking solid.

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Author:	Difference [ Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:31 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Yeah that definetly is a good tactic. One of my, lets call it frustrations, is the complete lack of a wing man. I have friends and family members that are guys my age but they all are AFCs. No one even seems interested in taking the leap. I honestly say to myself " I'm not going out with this guy anymore because it is more like babysitting than anything else". I've said that so many times that I can only go out alone! Being alone has it's advantages but it also has disadvantages - there is more freedom more flexibility and less embarassment when you fuck up. But I get the feeling that girls often judge a guy based on his circle of friends - and wether or not he is the alpha. There is also the lack of a 'brother in arms' to practice mutual motivation with etc. Whats really sad though is that being a loner seems to be the story of my life. If thats the case then I will have to work at getting a superficial group of friends, wing men, and basically sarging them to be my friends...but at the same time not depending on them too much as friends so that I'll get disappointed eventually. But yeah...line 'em up and knock 'em down is definetly good practice. Dude, from what you're saying, my advice is to put you're sarging on hold, and work on being yourself and finding a friendship group that suits you and accepts you. What good is a superficial friend? You want some people that you can chill out with, WITHOUT sarging and looking for women. I've got such an awesome group of friends, it doesn't matter whether we are trying to pick up women or not, we still always have fun hanging out. And once you've got a group of mates that you are comfortable with, well the winging will just fall into place. Even if they aren't PUA's, just being with a few mates is a bit of social proof, PLUS, if you approach a set, by it you close or crash and burn, you've got your buddies to go back to and hang with. I see it as really beneficial for you mate.

Author:	Giacomo [ Sun Jul 15, 2007 1:36 pm ]
Post subject:
Difference hits the nail on the head. Me and Diff here have been great mates before we both got into the game. But now being each others wingman just all falls into place so naturally. Because of the trust and rapport you build up with someone you can really share your successes and failures and problems with them. I think on the surface of this whole community wingmen appear to be merely a person you get to come out with you for the sole purpose of DHVing and social proof etc. Fuck that. Being a wingman goes beyond simply helping along your routines its about a bond that is greater than the sum of its parts. If your winging with someone you just paired up with for the sole purpose of improving your routines then I believe you are more fucked than you were without one.

Author:	horseradish [ Fri Sep 21, 2007 2:02 am ]
Post subject:
If you're too scared to approach hot girls, start with the ugly fat ones. You don't have to fuck them, just practice talking. Build you conversation skills and confidence. You never know, they might introduce you to some hot friends.

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