This question came up on my lvo3.com forum, and as I clearly remember what it was like to get all nervous before holiday events, I wanted to share my advice here as well:
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Hey,
This is a question not related to the actual workshop/progress/results.
I have a singles event tomorrow night and just looking for some tips on what to do beforehand to give me the greatest chance.
I usually have a great time and approach quite a lot, although I usually only get one number and so far they haven't led anywhere.
It's a naughty or nice dressup party - professional thing. I like them because they have ice breakers. Okay so I'm thinking naughty or nice is a good theme for a little banter. If she dresses naughty I can call her on it 'so are you usually the naughty girl or does she only come out once a year' or 'i take it you're the nice girl' then if she says no I'm naughty I can say 'nah I've seen naughty and that's not it'.
Okay so I usually approach the girl say 'hey how are you, I'm jason' they introduce themselves I ask if they've been to this sort of thing before, what they do for work, what they do for fun, what they're passionate about, the venue, etc. The fun question is because hopefully they list something I enjoy too, and the passionate one is an easy way of finding out what they really like. If the girl is bubbly then I'm set because I am good at creating/extending conversations out of hooks and bubbly girls throw a lot of conversational hooks.
Just have to make sure I'm in the right frame of mind, at one I got a hug from some random girl and a few other things. And another chatted to a girl at the bar, she said she was there as support (had a ring) but then said we should dance later lol. And one 36yo (hooottt but 11 years my senior) said something about me being really...charismatic or something along those lines. That was a massive compliment to me and another one asked if I had an older brother hehe.
As you can see I ask standard questions as I run out of things to talk about if I try and ask random questions.
One problem I do have is getting the conversation to topics that relate to some interesting/funny conversations. Like I blew up a microwave at work (stupid mistake) but how do you integrate that into a conversation???
This is a question not related to the actual workshop/progress/results.
I have a singles event tomorrow night and just looking for some tips on what to do beforehand to give me the greatest chance.
I usually have a great time and approach quite a lot, although I usually only get one number and so far they haven't led anywhere.
It's a naughty or nice dressup party - professional thing. I like them because they have ice breakers. Okay so I'm thinking naughty or nice is a good theme for a little banter. If she dresses naughty I can call her on it 'so are you usually the naughty girl or does she only come out once a year' or 'i take it you're the nice girl' then if she says no I'm naughty I can say 'nah I've seen naughty and that's not it'.
Okay so I usually approach the girl say 'hey how are you, I'm jason' they introduce themselves I ask if they've been to this sort of thing before, what they do for work, what they do for fun, what they're passionate about, the venue, etc. The fun question is because hopefully they list something I enjoy too, and the passionate one is an easy way of finding out what they really like. If the girl is bubbly then I'm set because I am good at creating/extending conversations out of hooks and bubbly girls throw a lot of conversational hooks.
Just have to make sure I'm in the right frame of mind, at one I got a hug from some random girl and a few other things. And another chatted to a girl at the bar, she said she was there as support (had a ring) but then said we should dance later lol. And one 36yo (hooottt but 11 years my senior) said something about me being really...charismatic or something along those lines. That was a massive compliment to me and another one asked if I had an older brother hehe.
As you can see I ask standard questions as I run out of things to talk about if I try and ask random questions.
One problem I do have is getting the conversation to topics that relate to some interesting/funny conversations. Like I blew up a microwave at work (stupid mistake) but how do you integrate that into a conversation???
Overdress.
Then flirt.
Smile at every girl there. Make eye contact with every girl there. Stop thinking about what it takes to sound interesting or cool or doing it right.
INSTEAD... let the girls work for you a little bit. Be free with the compliments. If you see a girl who looks nice, TELL HER. We're so fucking shy about this shit we forget that when a girl spends 2 hours getting ready (3, if she's from the UK... they work harder! , we are supposed to APPRECIATE it.
This line alone will make all the difference, and I am positive that you've never said it, and have a whole list of silly reasons why you think it's a bad idea to say it now... let them go, and try it:
"wow, you look great tonight! I'm Jason."
What's the worst that could happen? Go ahead and state your objections... so you can let them go.
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Thanks, sounds like great advice.
Yeah I've never gone up to a girl and been direct like that. Tbh I don't really have objects I guess I would worry that other people would think it was lame.
But when I picture myself doing that I get really strong positive visuals. Like I see her smile, eyes sparkle, etc. So what stops me I don't know. It's certainly not the assumption that she won't like it.
haha I have trouble with the initial part of conversatiosn, maybe I'm worried about the power behind being direct although when the girl is bubbly I can easily talk for an hour.
My objection is: Other people will think it lame - more like they will be envious of the girl because she got such an awesome compliment.
Yeah I've never gone up to a girl and been direct like that. Tbh I don't really have objects I guess I would worry that other people would think it was lame.
But when I picture myself doing that I get really strong positive visuals. Like I see her smile, eyes sparkle, etc. So what stops me I don't know. It's certainly not the assumption that she won't like it.
haha I have trouble with the initial part of conversatiosn, maybe I'm worried about the power behind being direct although when the girl is bubbly I can easily talk for an hour.
My objection is: Other people will think it lame - more like they will be envious of the girl because she got such an awesome compliment.
Good. When you state your imagined objections, they lose power.
Now, as for other people... 90% won't care either way cos they are too wrapped up in their own thoughts, just as you are. 8% will be envious and wish they were as confident as you, but because they are pussies will do nothing about it.
And 2% will be happy for you and the girl and welcome you to the club of people who happily don't give a fuck.
Not that scary, is it?
One extra money move: when music is playing, ask a girl to dance. No one dances anymore and it makes girls sad. Be the dude that makes them happy. Nothing more alpha than walking up to a girl, standing before her with your hand out to take hers, and not saying a WORD. She'll know it's time to boogie. Oh, she'll know...
field-tested and approved.