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Very anxious/shy in social situations or around girls
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Author:  MariuStar [ Sun Feb 28, 2016 2:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Very anxious/shy in social situations or around girls
Hi, I am a college freshman virgin :cry: guy and I'm 19.

I have never had a girlfriend nor kissed a girl and I think the time to make a change has come. I can't say that i didn't tried it just that all of them were miserable fails. I must say that I have never directly approached a girl and that I'm kinda anxious only when I think about it.

I don't know if it's good or not but I watched almost all Simple Pickups videos and I can say that I learned a lot of things from those guys but I never had the change to put them in practice, and I also started reading The Game.

I only have two friends who I can feel I can lose them in any moment. So I suck at making friends too, I always did. But wait, is there anything that I am good at? I don't think so. Therefore I'm just an alone dude who probably will be forever alone, I kinda got along with this thought. For real, who wants this kind of piece of s***?

Anyway, I want to know that there is something I can do to fix myself because I am definitely broken, or to at least start walking on the right way. I really appreciate if someone is willing to help me, or at least try to.

Thanks!
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Feb 29, 2016 3:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very anxious/shy in social situations or around girls
Quote:
Hi, I am a college freshman virgin :cry: guy and I'm 19.

I have never had a girlfriend nor kissed a girl and I think the time to make a change has come. I can't say that i didn't tried it just that all of them were miserable fails. I must say that I have never directly approached a girl and that I'm kinda anxious only when I think about it.

I don't know if it's good or not but I watched almost all Simple Pickups videos and I can say that I learned a lot of things from those guys but I never had the change to put them in practice, and I also started reading The Game.

I only have two friends who I can feel I can lose them in any moment. So I suck at making friends too, I always did. But wait, is there anything that I am good at? I don't think so. Therefore I'm just an alone dude who probably will be forever alone, I kinda got along with this thought. For real, who wants this kind of piece of s***?

Anyway, I want to know that there is something I can do to fix myself because I am definitely broken, or to at least start walking on the right way. I really appreciate if someone is willing to help me, or at least try to.

Thanks!
Perfect time to get this shit fixed, your a freshman. nobody there gives a shit about your history.

Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.
Quote:
I only have two friends who I can feel I can lose them in any moment. So I suck at making friends too, I always did. But wait, is there anything that I am good at? I don't think so. Therefore I'm just an alone dude who probably will be forever alone, I kinda got along with this thought. For real, who wants this kind of piece of s***?
Your goal is not to look for sex or a girlfriend, but merely to look for and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

I'm PM-ing you some basics
Author:  ex-pua-bruno [ Mon Apr 04, 2016 12:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Very anxious/shy in social situations or around girls
Quote:
Hi, I am a college freshman virgin :cry: guy and I'm 19.

I have never had a girlfriend nor kissed a girl and I think the time to make a change has come. I can't say that i didn't tried it just that all of them were miserable fails. I must say that I have never directly approached a girl and that I'm kinda anxious only when I think about it.

I don't know if it's good or not but I watched almost all Simple Pickups videos and I can say that I learned a lot of things from those guys but I never had the change to put them in practice, and I also started reading The Game.

I only have two friends who I can feel I can lose them in any moment. So I suck at making friends too, I always did. But wait, is there anything that I am good at? I don't think so. Therefore I'm just an alone dude who probably will be forever alone, I kinda got along with this thought. For real, who wants this kind of piece of s***?

Anyway, I want to know that there is something I can do to fix myself because I am definitely broken, or to at least start walking on the right way. I really appreciate if someone is willing to help me, or at least try to.

Thanks!
Hi,

I understand where you're coming from. Believe it or not, your problem like
any other guy's problem when it comes to dating is not having an anxiety
around meeting women but not focusing on your true passions in life.

What this means is that if you were busy with pursuing your true passion that's
what you truly love and enjoy doing, coming over to this pickup community to
seek the advice on how to meet women without anxiety would probably have
never crossed your mind.

The whole point I'm trying to make here is that meeting women should feel as
easy and effortless as following and living your true passion. I hope you get the
idea that if a girl notices that you're approaching her so anxiously, chances are
that she might instantly think of you as the guy who's so fully immersed in just
meeting random women that you most likely don't have life or don't lead a fulfilling
and passionate life.

So, my first tip for you would be go and find something that you truly love and
enjoy that's something that you don't feel anxious about at all, and get yourself
busy with it. Once you start doing it, meeting women should fall into place as
easily and effortlessly as keeping busy with your main interests and passions,
because meeting women will then become part of your true passion that's part
of what you love and enjoy doing. Hope this makes sense to you.

Back to the anxiety issue.

Many guys end up in the pickup arts or personal growth forums desperately
searching for the magic answer to how to fix their approach anxiety or their
social anxiety around meeting women.

This is a completely wrong approach.

And, this is not just a completely wrong approach...

What I'm now going to tell you is extremely important.

Trying to beat your anxiety around women by getting in the habit
of approaching as many random women in a day as possible is not
only a form of validation seeking but also the main trigger of a series
of dangerous, out-of-control, self destructive compulsive sexual behaviors
driven by even more severe anxiety that grows bigger and bigger.

I warmly recommend that you check out my latest post on the forums titled
social-shyness-anxiety/reasons-you-need ... h Anxiety" if you really want to learn all the dangers and risks of trying to fix your anxiety around women.

I'm telling you all this because I'm surely the guy who's been there.

If I'd learned about the dangerous effects of having an approach anxiety
drive me to mechanically approach more and more random women in a
day, I probably would've never got myself to learn and practise the pickup
and seduction arts in the first place.

Here's what happens if you don't stop to practise overcoming your approach
anxiety around women.

As a newbie to the seduction community, you learn a couple of easy openers
and start approaching random women. As you succeed in getting the first few
phone numbers from some women, your pickup teachers then encourage you
to start approaching women in more complicated and high-risk social situations
like boldly approaching a woman while she's with one or more men. Once you
get yourself into one of these situations and survive, you kind of automatically
get on steroids when it comes to getting even bolder in approaching women
in much riskier situations.

Guess what now happens with your brain.

Your brain kind of gets used to sending you the signals to boldly approach your
target women especially in one of these high-risk situations. It's like it's telling
you: "The riskier it is, the merrier you'll feel."

Man, this is one of the main behavioral traits of a sociopath and a guy who's
got symptoms of borderline personality disorder, because in either case such
guy boldly engages in extremely high-risk situations almost like a mad machine
man or robot programmed to do so.

Here's why your anxiety around women is actually your guardian angel.

Both you and I have a moral sense of what's right and what's wrong. We have
it instilled in ourselves through our conscience. Once you start pushing yourself
into engaging in risky situations, you'll naturally start to feel anxiety about doing
so. In other words, your anxiety will come from somewhere within your conscience
as a good warning for you not to do that, or you might get into a trouble if you do.

The feeling of anxiety in this case is like a line within your conscience that when
you cross by pushing yourself into doing something that doesn't feel right, easily
gets you involved in abnormal and insane behaviors.

In short, your anxiety is your guardian angel in a sense that it helps keep your
behavior healthy and normal.

Hopefully, by now you can realize how by engaging in an anxiety-driven behavior,
you can actaully tell that you're not spot-on focused on your true passion, since
what drives you to engage in such behavior is not really your passion but just the
force of your anxiety. Furthermore, if you get in the habit of forcing yourself to
approach random women purely driven by your anxiety as the main trigger, you'll be
able to tell that you're following an obsession that can easily lead you to sexual
addiction and different sorts of mental disorders that you don't really want.

Hope you find this post helpful.

Bruno
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