| PUA Forum https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/ |
|
| Rejection Anxiety - need some help. https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=184433 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | BHTrix [ Thu Oct 09, 2014 9:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | Rejection Anxiety - need some help. |
So I'm noticing I have two major issues. One, is being rejected by a girl I am interested in - when this happens, and it isn't even a, I'm sorry I'm not interested, but more a, I'm sorry I already got plans.... which, just lol, that's cool, maybe next time, right? But wow.. I just feel my face twitch and my wall comes up, I feel I'm suppressing all kinds of emotions... (I am in therapy for some anxiety issues btw, but any input is appreciated) But here's what I could really use some new perspectives on, maybe a little help Rejecting women. I now notice that I am quite desirable. I have women approach me now and again, showing interest. The problem is, I know exactly what I want, and a lot of women are not what I'm looking for. (I might be a little bit too picky for my own good.) But one great example is that I'm looking for a girl that, like myself, takes care of her body. That, like me, eats healthy and works out. So I have quite a few larger women approach me, and even though I don't mind having conversations and connecting with these people, I have 0 sexual desire for these women. Now here's what I really HATE doing - rejecting women. It's not a fun thing to do. Now I'm a very honest guy and I feel that I should be direct and honest about these things. I'm not a big fan of toying with other people. How do you guys do this? Reject women? Or maybe even, avoid that all together? |
|
| Author: | Mastermind9000 [ Thu Oct 09, 2014 10:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Rejection Anxiety - need some help. |
1) get rejected more. Make more moves, get rejected so often that it is totally normal for you and you can shrug it off. You'll find that even if the girl seems like the center of your world, once she rejects you, you stop caring about her and are off to find other girls to talk to. Call it being "battle hardened". 2) Shrug the girls you don't like off. Act like a hot chick, because THAT is the mentality you are looking to craft. |
|
| Author: | BHTrix [ Thu Oct 09, 2014 10:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Rejection Anxiety - need some help. |
Thanks for the quick reply. Say, I was wondering - talking about having to reject a lot of women with a hot chick, is that powerful? I think it might be. |
|
| Author: | oceanx [ Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Rejection Anxiety - need some help. |
Quote: Thanks for the quick reply.
Seems a little blustery and non-needed but you could field test it and see if it works for you.
Say, I was wondering - talking about having to reject a lot of women with a hot chick, is that powerful? I think it might be. |
|
| Author: | BHTrix [ Fri Oct 10, 2014 9:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Rejection Anxiety - need some help. |
Quote: Quote: Thanks for the quick reply.
Seems a little blustery and non-needed but you could field test it and see if it works for you.Say, I was wondering - talking about having to reject a lot of women with a hot chick, is that powerful? I think it might be. |
|
| Author: | puaninja [ Sun Oct 12, 2014 1:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Rejection Anxiety - need some help. |
Yea, just treat them the same way an HB10 treats the rest of the world. |
|
| Author: | Vandal PUA [ Sun Oct 19, 2014 7:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Rejection Anxiety - need some help. |
Yeah, fatties and ugs will approach you, big woop. I remember once when I went bowling a fat chick was rubbing my crotch. I didn't stop her though because well... It felt good... So yeah, that happens. The girls who you have no interest in approach you. What's interesting is as you get better you'll have girls with low self esteem who are attractive and have HB6's approach you, but I only consider 7's and above. So, rejection anxiety, this was a huge problem that I had which made me stop being sucessful with women shortly after college started. I almost reverted back to being a complete AFC, worse off then when I started! What did I do? RSD helps SO MUCH with confidence. I cannot emphesize this enough. It's one giant downward spiral with Rejection Anxiety, You approach girl, she rejects you, you have less confidence, you approach girl with less confidence, ect. Remember that you need to approach with confidence. It will help you a lot. I hope this helps. Good luck! |
|
| Author: | oceanx [ Mon Oct 20, 2014 2:11 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Rejection Anxiety - need some help. |
Quote: Rejection Anxiety, You approach girl, she rejects you, you have less confidence, you approach girl with less confidence, ect. Remember that you need to approach with confidence. It will help you a lot.
That's right, you need to get right back on the bike if you fall off. Experience helps too. You realize that, ok fine it wasn't a click with Girl A, but Girl B is just around the corner wishing that a cool guy would come into her life. ....and here you come..
|
|
| Author: | BHTrix [ Tue Oct 21, 2014 9:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Rejection Anxiety - need some help. |
Quote: Quote: Rejection Anxiety, You approach girl, she rejects you, you have less confidence, you approach girl with less confidence, ect. Remember that you need to approach with confidence. It will help you a lot.
That's right, you need to get right back on the bike if you fall off. Experience helps too. You realize that, ok fine it wasn't a click with Girl A, but Girl B is just around the corner wishing that a cool guy would come into her life. ....and here you come..The way you guys think of this makes me think, wow, I wish it was simple as that. So it's weird, on the one hand I think it's confidence in people I lack, but on the other hand... do I need to find the confidence in myself that people will treat me with the respect I think I deserve? I'm going to let my brain think on that for a bit. I really want to make it about myself, so I can actually go do something about it, but I don't see the thread yet. I think it's a perspective/world view right now, that needs some changing. |
|
| Author: | oceanx [ Tue Oct 21, 2014 9:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Rejection Anxiety - need some help. |
Quote: do I need to find the confidence in myself that people will treat me with the respect I think I deserve?
Yep, you got it nailed down, now for the execution. Your beliefs about the world become self fulfilling prophecies. I think it's a perspective/world view right now, that needs some changing. In my opinion a person needs to learn to trust others and have a high faith in humanity in order to have prolonged fulfilling experiences with all this - and if they want to leave the girls better than they found them. In this game you have to develop sort of a teflon demeanor, a masculine facade that gets you through. Still there are times when a rejection just stings like crazy and you stand there for a minute or two dumbfounded. This game requires that you become resilient in the face of rejection - not numb to it - but resilient. |
|
| Author: | Black Phantom [ Fri Oct 24, 2014 8:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Rejection Anxiety - need some help. |
You don't necessarily have to reject women that you don't want to be with. You don't even have to tell them anything. If you like women chasing you, don't do anything. Don't flirt with them and mislead them, but don't like punch them in the face because you don't want to do them. Keep these women in your subconscious. Keep the realization that you have women interested in you. There is just something on a guy who KNOWS that women are interested in him. Who HAS women chasing him and wanting to be with him. This kind of guy just has a different facial expression. He walks differently. He talks differently. He behaves differently. If you have something given to you, use it to your own advantage. Slowly but surely, hotter women will start to be interested in you - and then hotter and hotter. Soon you'll wake up and you'll be the kind of guy who ALWAYS has women in his life. However, if you don't agree with me, and would rather "reject" them, then do this: When you're talking with them, ask them if they have a boyfriend. If they say no, tell them about this guy that they would be a great fit with. Disqualify yourself naturally, without even saying something, showing that you're in a different league. |
|
| Author: | Kaiju [ Wed Oct 29, 2014 10:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Rejection Anxiety - need some help. |
Hi there! It is normal to fear rejection, especially at the beginning. You must build your confidence. You must don't give a shit. If you are feeling this fear; if you are feeling this anxiety, your body language will 'broadcast' that to the girl and she will feel your insecurity... in other words, you will giving up your weapons and giving her the whole power... you will end the game. An expression that I like a lot (pls, take it in the right way) is 'man up!'. Your attitude must be like you don't give a fuck. BE AWARE that if she rejects you, she is not rejecting you as a human being!!! A lot of factors that PUAs cannot control take part in the game (her BF just broke up with her and she is in the 'hating man' mood; familiar problems...) If she rejects you, just laugh about and end the interaction leaving poison (a phrase that might act as a bomb in her mind). Poison must be focused in letting her know that you won't participate in your relation if she acts like that and that she is rejecting an Alpha Male. The more you get rejected, the less you will care... Regarding rejecting girls you don't like... I totally get it. I mean, in order to have a relationship you are being very exigent, which is great. You won't give up on your freedom for some random girl. You are looking for someone worth enough to build something with you; what I call 'converging paths'... in the meantime, no one says you cannot fuck other girls (you don't have to have a relationship with them). Any girls who is interested in you (in that case, BTW, you have a lot of the work done my friend), if she turns you on, go ahead. If she doesn't, don't force it. My advice and experience are that the best way to do it is to just not feed the interaction. She will notice you don't like her. Good luck! |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|