PUA Forum :: Terrified of going out alone

I think that I'd be more comfortable with daygame. I also have a feeling that you'll find more quality woman during the day. Got any tips to talk about? I'm guessing just general stuff like study/work/vacation, or situational subjects like clothing or goods (store) / books (library) ?

Quote:

In day game, you have to assume the girl doesn't got much time and she's in a hurry. That's why you use a direct opener and go for the #close fast. Of course, sometimes, a girl isn't in a hurry for example in a shopping mall. I have used an indirect opener before (although she knew I wanted to pick her up. It was obvious.). It went something like this:

Me: "Hey, I need your help. I want to find something similar as this, but in another color. *I point at what I'm wearing*

She: "I don't work here."

Me: "I know. Come." *I already started walking. I just assumed she would follow me. She did.*

Body language and confidence is very important. And I already knew she was into me, because I caught her looking at me.

That's just an example from my real life experiences. You don't need to rehearse routines. Just go in the moment. If I got nothing I do have a backup opener. If I got nothing then I just open by giving a compliment on her looks. But if you go into the moment then it will feel natural. The example I gave you really happened and was in the moment and improvised.

I would really like to start going out in the field to practice things that I've read. But when it comes to it I'm just terrified to even go out alone. I don't even get to the point where I have to approach someone.

When I go out with friends, we play games. We think of openers for eachother and point out girls that we have to approach. And when all my friends are watching me I have no problem opening someone, but that's just for having fun. I want to learn how to close.

My problem is that when I think about going out alone I get really demotivated and I really prefer to just be on my own all night. That's safe.

At one time I actually managed to push myself to go out alone. It was around 21.30 when I entered a nice pub. It was still early on in the evening so there were no more than 15 people. Maybe a group of friends, and a few groups of 2 (Male/female, female/female and male/male). I sat down at the bar, ordered a soda. At this point I felt really uncomfortable. I froze. Everything I managed to do was watch my phone, sending some messages and scrolling my Facebook wall. After I finished my coke I left and went home.

Any tips about pushing myself to go out? But most importantly, how I can get myself in a comfortable mood before going out?

Author:	Nackopear [ Fri Jan 03, 2014 5:39 pm ]
Post subject:	Terrified of going out alone
I would really like to start going out in the field to practice things that I've read. But when it comes to it I'm just terrified to even go out alone. I don't even get to the point where I have to approach someone. When I go out with friends, we play games. We think of openers for eachother and point out girls that we have to approach. And when all my friends are watching me I have no problem opening someone, but that's just for having fun. I want to learn how to close. My problem is that when I think about going out alone I get really demotivated and I really prefer to just be on my own all night. That's safe. At one time I actually managed to push myself to go out alone. It was around 21.30 when I entered a nice pub. It was still early on in the evening so there were no more than 15 people. Maybe a group of friends, and a few groups of 2 (Male/female, female/female and male/male). I sat down at the bar, ordered a soda. At this point I felt really uncomfortable. I froze. Everything I managed to do was watch my phone, sending some messages and scrolling my Facebook wall. After I finished my coke I left and went home. Any tips about pushing myself to go out? But most importantly, how I can get myself in a comfortable mood before going out?

Author:	RockStar_dallas [ Sat Jan 04, 2014 2:52 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Terrified of going out alone
Hi, I still have this problem from time to time. Here is my solution: Go out earlier like 5-6 and to a more pubish place in a downtown area (lots of clubs nearby), maybe one that serves food, bring a book/laptop/ipad, by 7 you will have friends in the bar. That is all you are doing. Game the staff (warning they will be good), game guys, sets, groups, build an environment like you are a regular. You will be perfectly comfortable in that setting around the time the club girls will come in for their pre-club drinks(she hates paying $12 for a mixed drink too), That should be 8-9 you will have lots of social proof and you will be the fucking man, open sets to bounce to a club, which is all you are trying to do, just befriend the group and get the club invite(good DHV game here). Now it's 11 ish you are at a dance club with some cool people. Boom welcome to forming your own posse, time to open sets, introduce guys to girls, girls to guys, everyone will love you and you will have your pick of girls from the club, leave with a couple of phone numbers and have successfully completed your mission. Go forth and procreate. -R

Author:	Nackopear [ Sat Jan 04, 2014 9:20 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Terrified of going out alone
So what you are basicly saying is that the solution to get started (at least for you) is to meet up with friends at a public place to have some drinks, but be there 1 hour earlier to game?

Author:	n00bpua123 [ Sat Jan 04, 2014 3:47 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Terrified of going out alone
I think it's easier to sarge alone in a night club than in a bar. In a bar everybody sees you're alone, which is weird. In a night club, when you're alone, people will think you are with friends. Even if they ask you where your friends are you could just point a direction and tell them where they are (altough, you're just alone). Edit: but ultimately it doesn't matter. I have #closed women in empty bars before while I was alone. Edit2: don't order a drink. Enter a bar, find your target and open.

Author:	RockStar_dallas [ Sat Jan 04, 2014 5:26 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Terrified of going out alone
no I'm saying create friends in the first venue to game an invite into the second, and so on.

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Author:	La Bamba [ Sat Jan 04, 2014 10:14 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Terrified of going out alone
Go out in the day time alone man. Day game is much easier man. Women at bars and clubs have their friends there so they have social pressure to not look like a slut. Plus they will sometimes leave you to attend to their friends. Go to a mall to find some women. I think the biggest key is to just be out of the house. If you have a dog go to a dog park. Look through meetup.com for groups where young people meet. Just keep your eyes open while you are out. Bars and clubs are overrated to meet women. A place I learned had a lot of girls to meet was the Target near the university right before the semester starts. That place had a bunch of young women getting things for their dorm or new place. Another thing I like to do is when I am flying somewhere I will get to the airport almost an hour early and look for women to talk to. Airports are full of beautiful women, many times traveling alone. Also if you fly southwest you can choose where you sit so if you see a cute girl you can sit next to her. Think out of the box. Bars and clubs are tough venues. Lots of competition, women are on the defensive plus its normally tough to have a convo with the music blasting. Day game it. It won't feel weird being alone either.

Author:	Nackopear [ Sun Jan 05, 2014 2:21 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Terrified of going out alone
I think that I'd be more comfortable with daygame. I also have a feeling that you'll find more quality woman during the day. Got any tips to talk about? I'm guessing just general stuff like study/work/vacation, or situational subjects like clothing or goods (store) / books (library) ?

Author:	In$tinct [ Mon Jan 06, 2014 3:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Terrified of going out alone
Quote: I think that I'd be more comfortable with daygame. I also have a feeling that you'll find more quality woman during the day. Got any tips to talk about? I'm guessing just general stuff like study/work/vacation, or situational subjects like clothing or goods (store) / books (library) ? No that's absolutely boring. If you want to daygame you usually have to be direct from the very start.

Author:	n00bpua123 [ Mon Jan 06, 2014 7:06 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Terrified of going out alone
Quote: I think that I'd be more comfortable with daygame. I also have a feeling that you'll find more quality woman during the day. Got any tips to talk about? I'm guessing just general stuff like study/work/vacation, or situational subjects like clothing or goods (store) / books (library) ? In day game, you have to assume the girl doesn't got much time and she's in a hurry. That's why you use a direct opener and go for the #close fast. Of course, sometimes, a girl isn't in a hurry for example in a shopping mall. I have used an indirect opener before (although she knew I wanted to pick her up. It was obvious.). It went something like this: Me: "Hey, I need your help. I want to find something similar as this, but in another color. I point at what I'm wearing She: "I don't work here." Me: "I know. Come." I already started walking. I just assumed she would follow me. She did. Body language and confidence is very important. And I already knew she was into me, because I caught her looking at me. That's just an example from my real life experiences. You don't need to rehearse routines. Just go in the moment. If I got nothing I do have a backup opener. If I got nothing then I just open by giving a compliment on her looks. But if you go into the moment then it will feel natural. The example I gave you really happened and was in the moment and improvised.

Author:	Nackopear [ Mon Jan 06, 2014 10:08 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Terrified of going out alone
Quote: Quote: I think that I'd be more comfortable with daygame. I also have a feeling that you'll find more quality woman during the day. Got any tips to talk about? I'm guessing just general stuff like study/work/vacation, or situational subjects like clothing or goods (store) / books (library) ? In day game, you have to assume the girl doesn't got much time and she's in a hurry. That's why you use a direct opener and go for the #close fast. Of course, sometimes, a girl isn't in a hurry for example in a shopping mall. I have used an indirect opener before (although she knew I wanted to pick her up. It was obvious.). It went something like this: Me: "Hey, I need your help. I want to find something similar as this, but in another color. I point at what I'm wearing She: "I don't work here." Me: "I know. Come." I already started walking. I just assumed she would follow me. She did. Body language and confidence is very important. And I already knew she was into me, because I caught her looking at me. That's just an example from my real life experiences. You don't need to rehearse routines. Just go in the moment. If I got nothing I do have a backup opener. If I got nothing then I just open by giving a compliment on her looks. But if you go into the moment then it will feel natural. The example I gave you really happened and was in the moment and improvised. Alright, I´ll just forget about all prehearsed routines and just do/say whatever I feel like. Would you advise opening single sets over double/triple sets?

Author:	In$tinct [ Tue Jan 07, 2014 12:33 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Terrified of going out alone
Usually if your intentions are to actually game, then I'd suggest single sets for daygame. Since you'll be direct, if her friends are nearby it will trigger the ASD(anti-slut-defense). If you just want to have fun then you can of course open any group you want to socialize.

Author:	HER0 [ Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:09 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Terrified of going out alone
It's hard no doubt to go out by yourself. I've done it plenty of times at night and it takes balls to do. For me, the possible incentives and positives outweighs the negatives. Do you want to stay home and remaining stagnant or do you want to go out and potentially meet new people, improve yourself while having a great time doing so. You will have bad nights, but I believe you are a better person for taking initiative and doing something that so many people can't do. If you find it too difficult and nerve racking to go out alone then why not find a wing? I'm sure there are plenty of people on this board who are from the same location as you who would be more than happy to have a wing. You don't have to go out alone to improve and nobody says it has to be this or that way.

Author:	Apples185 [ Mon Jan 13, 2014 1:00 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Terrified of going out alone
Quote: I would really like to start going out in the field to practice things that I've read. But when it comes to it I'm just terrified to even go out alone. I don't even get to the point where I have to approach someone. When I go out with friends, we play games. We think of openers for eachother and point out girls that we have to approach. And when all my friends are watching me I have no problem opening someone, but that's just for having fun. I want to learn how to close. My problem is that when I think about going out alone I get really demotivated and I really prefer to just be on my own all night. That's safe. At one time I actually managed to push myself to go out alone. It was around 21.30 when I entered a nice pub. It was still early on in the evening so there were no more than 15 people. Maybe a group of friends, and a few groups of 2 (Male/female, female/female and male/male). I sat down at the bar, ordered a soda. At this point I felt really uncomfortable. I froze. Everything I managed to do was watch my phone, sending some messages and scrolling my Facebook wall. After I finished my coke I left and went home. Any tips about pushing myself to go out? But most importantly, how I can get myself in a comfortable mood before going out? Ok buddy, you have serious confidence issues. You need to work on yourself. Really think about what would make you feel like a winner. When people look at you, they should think to themselves, "wow, this guy is going somewhere in life" or "oh, he must be enjoying life. There is nothing wrong with a MAN going out alone. Females are the ones that are afraid of being alone, they need to feel safe and secure of course. Hope things workout for you.

Author:	R.Burgundy [ Tue Jan 14, 2014 12:12 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Terrified of going out alone
I wouldn't go as far as saying he has serious confidence issues. Going alone to a quiet venue with the intention of picking up is gonna be tough no matter how smooth you are IMO. Whenever I go out alone (at night) I do the following: 1. Make sure the venue is busy so I don't look like a loaner and there are enough different groups to move around and talk to. 2. Call up a friend on the way to the venue and have a ~5min conversation to get you into a talkative mood and to keep your mind off the fact that you are going out alone. 3. Make conversation with people in the queue while waiting to enter the venue. 4. Smile as soon as you enter da club.

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Author:	DoktorL0ve [ Fri Jan 17, 2014 4:18 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Terrified of going out alone
hey man, i totally feel you, i've been going out alone too, and it can be nerve racking. for some reason, approaching is easier if you have buddies watching you. i don't think you have confidence issues, i think you are having a very normal response. daygame always looks harder and scarier to me, but everyone says it's not, so maybe try, and maybe i will too. what i do to prep myself for going out is i try to stay really busy during the day. if i'm just chilling and watching tv all day, i'm more inclined to stay at rest at night too (i think it's one of newton's laws). go out early, i don't think it matters where too much. it's just for the sake of getting used to being around people and getting in a talkative mood. perhaps go to a restaurant and talk to the waitress, or get a haircut and talk to the stylist. once you are out, don't go back home, or if you do go back home, make it brief. you should be in an active, busy, talkative state by the time you get to the venue where you plan to game. i have also experienced going out, not talking to anyone, and going home. you just gotta push through that. once you are successful, you will find it gets easier and easier the more you do it. your past success will help you in the future. this is exactly what i've been talking about in my vlogs (but i'm still afc), check it out if you want. good luck!