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Intimidated because she's new, not because she is hot...
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Author:  destere [ Mon Nov 04, 2013 11:24 am ]
Post subject:  Intimidated because she's new, not because she is hot...

I'm too careful with new women. I don't know why but I just seize up and become boring.

I met a friend of a friend in a club in London, went up to her introduced myself, broke ice talking about halloween costumes, all going fine and then errrrrm... It keeps happening! I can't stop being that mediocre chump who talks about boring subjects. Literally all silliness/creativity/whatever gets blocked off.

But I know I can be interesting, fun, and I suppose - dangerous. I'm just not dangerous enough with new girls.

You see, I'm only intimated by women because they're new - not because they're hot. The girl I spoke to was nice, don't get me wrong, but there was no doubting who was the hottest girl there.

There was this other girl there who I had known previously. She's the hottest girl I know. She's been modelling since her early teens (when I first met her) and has certainly only gotten better with age. We used to be friends (one of my mates dated her). Nothing ever happened between us before. I hadn't spoken to her in over 4 years. But I was in my element that night. K closed. Would have tried for more but her bag got lost - cue drama...

I know I can do it, because I have done it. How can I transfer those skills across to new people?

Author:  Aleistar [ Tue Nov 05, 2013 12:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Intimidated because she's new, not because she is hot...

You have the skill, so why not just gata?

Author:  afcAL [ Wed Nov 06, 2013 1:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Intimidated because she's new, not because she is hot...

I'm only intimated by women because they're new - not because they're hot.

I believe all you have to realize is that all human beings are fundamentally the same. Maybe your anxiety comes from the belief that "new" girls are somehow different from the girls you already know and deserve a different SPAM.

When I get stuck, doing something playful or unexpected changes the mood 99% of the time.

Al

Author:  Evan E [ Mon Nov 11, 2013 3:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Intimidated because she's new, not because she is hot...

There is a giddiness and discomfort that sometimes comes over us when we meet someone new in a social setting.

I'm not a social psychologist, but my take on it is that we get this either from childhood, or from watching other introductions taking place around us and assuming that this discomfort is just par for the course.

It doesn't have to be like this. Keep in mind the following:

- Unless the woman in front of you is a super-alpha female, or one of those rare human beings who is just completely comfortable in her own skin, then she is probably feeling just as nervous as you, even if she is hiding it well.
- It is not your sole responsibility to be the one filling all the empty space with chat and questions and smalltalk. It takes two to tango. Let her contribute; indeed, insist that she contribute.
- It's possible to be interesting without saying a word. If you are "the prize", then allow her to make some of the right moves.
- Practice, practice, practice. Go over this speedbump many times, wear it down so you get to a point where you no longer have to think about it.

Author:  oceanx [ Fri Nov 15, 2013 1:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Intimidated because she's new, not because she is hot...

As the man, it's totally on you to drive the interaction. It sounds like you might be having anxiety because of the very fact that they are new girls which is totally normal. Like the last poster said 'practice, practice, practice.' The more you are out there interacting the more you find it easier. Also remember, you don't have to be the most fascinating guy in the world and do magic tricks and most importantly you don't have to try to "IMPRESS" the girl: You, being you, opening the girl and chatting her up for a few mins and then getting her #/isolating her/k-closing/whatever is all you have to do. 99% of the uphill battle is approaching and you're doing that, soon it will be all downhill from here just don't give up.

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