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AA ruins my first night out as an rAFC
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=17009		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  5Star [ Sun Feb 17, 2008 4:20 pm ]
Post subject:  AA ruins my first night out as an rAFC
Last night was the first time I've been out since I officialy recognised myself as an rAFC. I went to the same little club I've been to a thousand times but for the first time saw everything in a completely different light. I noticed more how people interact, how the girls behave, who the alphas were and was much more aware of my own behaviour and body language. Discovering the pick up arts has already completely changed my outlook on social gatherings.

Anyway, this club I go to is not ideal for gaming by any means. A little indie club, very loud music, very limited seating areas. I go there usually with just one friend of mine who happens to be even more inept with girls than me. Changing my social life is a major priority for me right now.

So we got to the club early and got a seat and were just chilling out drinking. These 2 girls came and sat at the table right next to us, an HB6.5 and HB5. As soon as they sat down I was thinking "DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" But I just froze. The HB6.5 kept glancing over and I was pretty sure I was getting IOIs from her. I continued to ignore her and carried on talking with my mate. With every second that passed it got harder and harder to convince myself to open until I gave up and they left. Felt like a complete loser more than ever because I know now what has to be done in order to meet girls and had a perfect opportunity to get my first set out of the way. I had the opportunity to open another 2 or 3 sets later on in the night but same happened again. Then we moved to the dancefloor and stayed there for the rest of the night. Another night with no action!

I now FULLY understand the 3 second rule. After about 10 seconds of those girls being there it felt so uncomfortable and it felt like if I opened them it would seem like I had been biding my time before making a move on them. I need to get over this and quick.

I think I'd put a lot of pressure on myself last night. I tried to get psyched up before I went out but couldn't. Also, I've done nothing but read up on PUA this past week without really getting a game plan together at all. I have no routines or anything yet I really just wanna start opening girls any way I can to start off with, even if its just saying hi. Once that first set is out of the way, I'll be off and running.

Despite me freezing up, I think last night was a good lesson for me. I am seeing things in a totally different way now and every set I fail to open is gonna spur me on even more coz I really want to change my ways. I've made a mental note of all the feelings that stopped me from opening those girls and I'm going to use them to my advantage. Old habits die hard I guess.
Author:  delta4ce [ Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
i suggest you take a look at this thread detach-yourself-from-the-outcome-vt16784.html

honestly man... ask yourself, what do you have to lose?

seriously, you don't talk to the girl(s)-- you don't get to know them nothing happens

you talk to them-- you either have a good time... or your in the same position-- you don't connect with someone
Author:  Senpai [ Mon Feb 18, 2008 1:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeah the 3 second rule is key-- it's something I need to do a better job of following... it's definitely one of my biggest sticking points, sometimes I have no AA, sometimes I hesitate.
Author:  razzix [ Wed Feb 20, 2008 4:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Just think of it like this:

"the longer I sit here and do nothing, the harder it will be to approach"

You WILL feel uncomfortable if you don't act, and as time passes, the anxiety will rise. It's like a snowball effect that will grow and grow to the point where you'll take it home with you.

The 3 second rule shouldn't be taken literally, it doesn't mean YOU ONLY HAVE THREE SECONDS OR YOU'RE OUT, it means taking as little time as possible to act. If you don't act after the 1st minute, you're going to give yourself more anxiety than a rejection would give you.

And I ask, is that worth it?
Author:  FreeLife [ Wed Feb 20, 2008 8:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
honestly man... ask yourself, what do you have to lose?
Precisely. You could also try the affirmation: "It doesn't matter whether the girls walk away from me (you could also use: "rejects me") because there is always a lesson to learn".
Author:  Paradox1 [ Sat Feb 23, 2008 2:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey guys. It's easy enough saying "Just think: what's the worst that can happen?", but the thing is, when you're in field, thinking that doesn't seem to help.

The same thing happened to me last night; I just froze up. It's really getting to me now as I haven't opened a single set and I've been trying for over a month.
Author:  RexRegis=king [ Sat Feb 23, 2008 8:57 pm ]
Post subject:  everyone feels the same thing
everyone feels the same way man, i always try to remember lil sayings, they empower me and give me encouragement like when kosmo was reciting what mystery told him "you only have 28,451 days to live, get out there and do it!" or whatever the correct wording was... try using a saying that only takes three seconds to say. i seen someone's signature, i think it was locke's that said "i believe in behavior, not fate" that takes 3 seconds to say, and then hey, your approaching a woman (altering your future due to your behavior!)
Author:  ajberry [ Sat Feb 23, 2008 11:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's very hard to say things that will get you to "take the plunge". I have been in that situation for a while.

What did it for me, ironically, was the place we were at was dead, so I thought fuck it, lets have a do.

Sometimes situations will lead you into it, other times, you'll just realise that there isn't anything to lose.
Author:  Lanky [ Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is pretty much what happened to me as well. It's such a bitch. I felt like Kosmo in the first episode of The PUA
Author:  FreeLife [ Fri Mar 21, 2008 10:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Try expanding your comfort zone little by little. Look people you pass intensely in the eyes. Get comfortable with it. Then try to ask a guy what the clock is. Get comfortable doing that. Then try asking some girl the same thing. Little by little you will get a larger comfort zone (i.e. things you feel confident doing) and you will then be able to approach women.

Everybody can do this. You say that you have been trying for a month. That shows that you are truly dedicated to this - sooner or later you will open because of the fact that you are so dedicated. Realize that. It might as well be sooner then later;)

Approaching a women can be scary... but you can do it because you are dedicated.
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