How do you increase the feeling of stability in social situations?
Simple as that. ^

I feel unstable almost all of the time (even outside of being social).
I keep rethinking what will I say to someone or what will I do later, though, I don't really intend on doing or saying anything.

Right now I know that I can direct my attention off somewhere else, but that isn't always safe (the unstability comes from fear, lack of confidence, low self-esteem or my perfectionism.) as I could really need to deal with the situation.

Easier more precise questions:
What is your mindset when you're dealing with a thought like "I will possibly talk to him/her later.", "I will talk to him/her.", "I will do that later, if I have enough time." (I always think I have to have time for everything), etc.?
Do you just deal with it and discard it or keep in your mind the decision how you dealt with it?

Adding:
Any books on thinking correctly so I wouldn't stress myself out and have more stability? Or tips?

TL;DR:
STABILITY. Consistence. Confidence. Letting go of thoughts once you deal with them. What to do after you let go so it won't come back.

Thank You for your responses in advance, I'll help you wherever you need my help (if I can), just leave a link.

Have the mindset of "I will give her the opportunity to meet me."

Check out my article ^_^ ... it precisely talks about this! Or Tony Robbins Awaken the Giant from Within!

newbie-mindset-extreme-self-love-how-to ... 56449.html

Cheers,

Donston

I don't worry about getting the girl or not.
If I'm having fun it's awesome, if not, well, I better go have some "alone time" as I'm an introvert.

Right now I think I'll ONLY talk to girls, and people in general, like it was a game with my rules, a game that both sides enjoy as much as possible, something simple and addictive with a lot of emotional (hypnotic) anchors.
ELSE if I don't do that, I can't have any fun and I get bored to death as I HATE simple information exchange with other people irl (finding out more about the other person would just be mentally strategic advantage) because it drains out and gets boring quickly.

I'm still creating this technique, not complete, nay. p;

My bad I mis interpreted your question/problem ... but if you've talked to many people you can notice a general pattern. That pattern is that when you interact with a stranger the first 3-5 minutes is boring, BS, interview questioning. Just endure this 3-5 minute and the person will start to un wind and provided to the interaction. But, I love your mind set ... You are right if the person is boring ... that means you are boring! Therefore, you need to find ways to self amuse your self to let the other person open up and self amuse.

Now here is what I use to stop my self from going in my head.
- Now shift your awareness to stopping from getting in your head to think of something to say ... you must stay present. Most people would try meditation ... someone would take improv classes. But, a simple technique I do at the beginning of the night to stop my self from getting in my head is I only focus on making solid eye contact. That is it ... just focus on making eye contact ... don't try to convey value to people ... just focus on the girls eyes. Be comfortable with the awkward silence ... this will force the girl to contribute and invest more to the interaction because people don't like awkward silence. But, the point is that when the girl is staring into your eyes she will start asking herself ... "Those this guy give a fuck?" ... "Those he give a little bit of a fuck" ... "This guys doesn't give a fuck" ... she is saying this because you are not trying to convey value (aka going in your head to think of things to say).

So the step is focus on eye contact ... make minimal effort in the interaction ... that's it. When you do this for the first few approaches ... you will be present ... when you are present the most whitty things will come out of your mouth ... you know where you say something funny or smart and you ask yourself, "Where did that come from ..."

Your first approaches may be awkward and weird because you will feel yourself slipping in and out of focusing only on eye contact ... to going into your head trying to convey value ... try again immediately ....