PUA Forum :: Best topics to fall back on when your mind goes blank?

One thing that scares the crap out of me when I think about talking to someone I don't know is the fear that I will not know what to say. The fear that at some point in the conversation my mind will go blank and I will not know what to say. I am trying to think of things I can do to makes sure I NEVER have to experience that awkward feeling again. I'm sure this is a much bigger deal to shy, introverted people like myself who often already seem boring and uninteresting to others in the first place. The awkward silences just make us seem even more uninteresting.

I see that others are using routines, stories, games, and stuff to have things to say. Some of these kinds of things though seem like they wouldn't necessarily fit with every kind of conversation that you might find yourself in. I think it can depend upon the conversation as to whether it would be best to tell this story or that story. One thing might be more a appropriate for one moment than another. I personally, would rather flow with conversations and make them seem more natural then to jump around from one thing to something else totally unrelated.

On that note, I was thinking that there has to be some topics that would fit well in any conversation. And if I could come up with at least 10 different topics like that (that would fit well in any conversation) then I could keep those topics in the back of my mind for when I need them and that could help me get over the fear of running out of stuff to say. I think the fear can be alleviated by being prepared. Think about how much more at ease you would be if you had at least 10 different topics or conversational threads that you could launch into.

So, what do you guys think would make the best backup topics? Obviously not things like religion - not everybody agrees on that stuff so it wouldn't fit every conversation. And not other worldly things like ghosts and aliens - not everybody is interested in things like that. I guess they would have to be ordinary everyday things that we can all relate to. Any ideas?

Author:	Niick [ Mon Dec 17, 2012 11:44 pm ]
Post subject:	Best topics to fall back on when your mind goes blank?
One thing that scares the crap out of me when I think about talking to someone I don't know is the fear that I will not know what to say. The fear that at some point in the conversation my mind will go blank and I will not know what to say. I am trying to think of things I can do to makes sure I NEVER have to experience that awkward feeling again. I'm sure this is a much bigger deal to shy, introverted people like myself who often already seem boring and uninteresting to others in the first place. The awkward silences just make us seem even more uninteresting. I see that others are using routines, stories, games, and stuff to have things to say. Some of these kinds of things though seem like they wouldn't necessarily fit with every kind of conversation that you might find yourself in. I think it can depend upon the conversation as to whether it would be best to tell this story or that story. One thing might be more a appropriate for one moment than another. I personally, would rather flow with conversations and make them seem more natural then to jump around from one thing to something else totally unrelated. On that note, I was thinking that there has to be some topics that would fit well in any conversation. And if I could come up with at least 10 different topics like that (that would fit well in any conversation) then I could keep those topics in the back of my mind for when I need them and that could help me get over the fear of running out of stuff to say. I think the fear can be alleviated by being prepared. Think about how much more at ease you would be if you had at least 10 different topics or conversational threads that you could launch into. So, what do you guys think would make the best backup topics? Obviously not things like religion - not everybody agrees on that stuff so it wouldn't fit every conversation. And not other worldly things like ghosts and aliens - not everybody is interested in things like that. I guess they would have to be ordinary everyday things that we can all relate to. Any ideas?

Author:	ez_attraction [ Tue Dec 18, 2012 3:55 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Best topics to fall back on when your mind goes blank?
Ask yourself, what sorts of things do women like to talk about. Okay, I know I am generalising here as not all women are the same or like the same things. However, topics related to "celebrity gossip", or some sort of recent "scandal" or "drama" are some examples of things you could bring up in conversation. Just try to make it 'lighthearted' and 'fun'. If the girl you are talking to has no interest in such topics, then just take a genunine interest in her and what she says and ask questions to find out more about her. People love talking about themselves. Don't worry too much about what you are going to say next, but spend time paying attention to her and what she says because that will provide you with cues as to where to take the conversation.

Author:	puaninja [ Tue Dec 18, 2012 7:59 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Best topics to fall back on when your mind goes blank?
Those would be "stock" topics of conversation. You can have specific things in mind, or just categories. For instance, in the "current events" category you might discuss the Newtown school shooting. But in the future it might change to whatever is the most sensational news story of the day. I say this all the time, but use your openers as topics of conversation too. You can use one opener to open the set, then the other ones as your topics within the set. That way you don't have to memorize a bunch of openers AND a bunch of stories. I mean, "Who lies more?" "hip hop dog names" "The love hex letter"...all of those can also be used as DHV stories or "pebbles". And you obiviously don't have to preface these stories with "Let me get your opinion". Just tell the stories and let the girls respond naturally with their opinions and feedback.

Author:	Niick [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 12:01 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Best topics to fall back on when your mind goes blank?
Yeah, ez_attraction, that is something I try to do actually. I try to pay attention to what people are saying so that I can grab onto the hooks and keep the conversation going if I need to. But, even still it seems that you reach a point sometimes where that particular conversational thread comes to and end and you just have to start talking about something else. And if you're nervous it is easy for your mind to go blank and keep you from thinking of anything. puaninja, you know I was thinking the same thing, that one topic could be about what is going on in the news. Yeah, you'd have to stay updated on the news to have a "current event" as a back up topic. But, that's not that big of a deal. I just set my homepage to a website that has the news on it like Yahoo so that I can keep up to date on things. Another stock topic could be your own current events - what you are currently up to. You could ask them at some point in the conversation what they've been up to lately. And then you could always follow that up with what you been doing lately and why. Anything happen recently that was a big deal? Anything funny happen recently? Anything embarrassing happen recently? Anything scary happen recently? Did you do anything fun recently? What has been on your mind lately - what have you been thinking about? Do you have any plans for the near future? Those are some more stock topic possibilities. Although they're always changing. But, that could be a good thing - keep your content fresh. Don't have to keep saying the same stuff over and over, you just have to update your stock topics once in a while.

Author:	7000 [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 2:37 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Best topics to fall back on when your mind goes blank?
Yep, sound advice from ez and ninja to be honest. Added to that, situational topics of conversation are good as well. Talk about your surroundings. See a funny shaped tree? Mention it. See a strange painting on the wall of the party you're at? Talk about it. See someone doing something strange? Have a little inside joke about them. As ez says, you can always just ask about them and what they've been up to. If you go down this route, be sure not to just make it a Q&A session. Listen carefully to her answers and then work with them, make a joke out of them, bring your personality into her answers. Finally, I would just like to qualify ez's statement that you should think about what girls like to talk about. You should to some extent, but personally I tend to go for girls who have at least a similar personality to me. This is probably going to be even more important if you're looking for a relationship rather than just sex. But if she finds all of your topics of conversation boring, why do you want to be with her? As ez says, you do need to tone this down - don't talk about football for hours on end because she probably isn't going to care. But if you need a topic of conversation, try to find some of your interests that girls might have as well - music, art, travel, history, science, architecture, whatever - and if you can't find anything in common at all, you might want to think twice about your choice of girl!

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Author:	conquistador1982 [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 5:15 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Best topics to fall back on when your mind goes blank?
When I don't know what to say..which rarely happens, then I just comment on something is wearing, like a ring or a necklace. I ask her where shy got it or just listen to what she said and ask her on something she seemed happy about!

Author:	lidsfitteds [ Wed Mar 06, 2013 8:32 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Best topics to fall back on when your mind goes blank?
I read that you're not supposed to let the conversation die. Like as the conversation is getting exciting(doesn't have to be sexual, it can be about anything) switch over to a side topic, and escalate that topic then do the same thing repeatedly, so the conversation doesn't run out. This will probably help make you seem interesting to, and she'll probably enjoy talking with you more. P.S - don't switch to a side topic until the current topic is at a high point (Where you're both talking/laughing/enjoying yourselves and you can tell you're going to run out of things to say soon.

Author:	andyredsox [ Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:03 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Best topics to fall back on when your mind goes blank?
You are a dude man, talking to girls is not difficult. You feel that you are nervous, because you think that your nervous. Relax man, always think positive, you have to take an action for that, or else, you cannot find a woman you like.

Author:	Roland Boss [ Tue Mar 26, 2013 4:53 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Best topics to fall back on when your mind goes blank?
I find holidays / travelling is an easy topic to fall back on. Ie. 'So what are your plans for this Summer?' Everyone loves talking about holidays and where they want to go etc. It puts you in a positive mood. And from there you can talk about past trips you have been on and amazing places you have been to etc.

Author:	meetjoeblack [ Sun Mar 31, 2013 1:38 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Best topics to fall back on when your mind goes blank?
Quote: One thing that scares the crap out of me when I think about talking to someone I don't know is the fear that I will not know what to say. The fear that at some point in the conversation my mind will go blank and I will not know what to say. I am trying to think of things I can do to makes sure I NEVER have to experience that awkward feeling again. I'm sure this is a much bigger deal to shy, introverted people like myself who often already seem boring and uninteresting to others in the first place. The awkward silences just make us seem even more uninteresting. I see that others are using routines, stories, games, and stuff to have things to say. Some of these kinds of things though seem like they wouldn't necessarily fit with every kind of conversation that you might find yourself in. I think it can depend upon the conversation as to whether it would be best to tell this story or that story. One thing might be more a appropriate for one moment than another. I personally, would rather flow with conversations and make them seem more natural then to jump around from one thing to something else totally unrelated. On that note, I was thinking that there has to be some topics that would fit well in any conversation. And if I could come up with at least 10 different topics like that (that would fit well in any conversation) then I could keep those topics in the back of my mind for when I need them and that could help me get over the fear of running out of stuff to say. I think the fear can be alleviated by being prepared. Think about how much more at ease you would be if you had at least 10 different topics or conversational threads that you could launch into. So, what do you guys think would make the best backup topics? Obviously not things like religion - not everybody agrees on that stuff so it wouldn't fit every conversation. And not other worldly things like ghosts and aliens - not everybody is interested in things like that. I guess they would have to be ordinary everyday things that we can all relate to. Any ideas? Well, I'm no MPUA. I can share resources I use or things I've done. For starters, after some disasterous occurences in my life, drunk driving accident, dead dad and sis. My game went to shit. I got depressed. My game was never flashy. I was always humble and slightly shy. I found success going to Jeffy free tour in Januar (check my review). I wanted it to happen after free tour and pull but, it didn't happen. It was gradual. I was chill. I kept cool. I got numbers, I watched rsd instructor vblogs, I rarely posted online (post count under 200 since 2011 start date), I tried new things, started meditating, trying new things, and learning real social dynamics principles. I learned about freedom from outcome and bringing intention still. I learned about abundance, having options, and not chasing a oneittus. The one I recommend that helped me is self amusing. I am a clown, I laugh at myself sometimes, and topics are about my perspective or what I think is funny. I got jeff free tour bonus for signing up. I await Alex free tour next month and the bonus to follow. I'll be there in Montreal for anyone interested. I paid a $25 deposit I'll get refunded at the event so, anyone interested can inbox me and I'll let them know who is coming with.

Author:	NicolaJacob [ Tue Apr 30, 2013 10:16 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Best topics to fall back on when your mind goes blank?
The easiest way is to nod your head and just act as you are listening the conversation. Then just change the topic.

Author:	lidsfitteds [ Tue Apr 30, 2013 6:36 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Best topics to fall back on when your mind goes blank?
Quote: The easiest way is to nod your head and just act as you are listening the conversation. Then just change the topic. That would probably make you seem boring, considering she'd be doing the talking. Also, you've should transition the topics the conversation cant go like this: girl: so I was in mexico and I had a really bad sunburn... guy:Nods You know I really enjoy getting my haircut every sunday Do not do that.

Author:	Gunwitch [ Wed May 01, 2013 7:40 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Best topics to fall back on when your mind goes blank?
"hey do you ever watch that show family guy?" "why do you think Lois never left Peter? I mean he's a big fat slob and shes a hot chick." Always my fall back. It gets the two of you talking about shit you both know about, so it assumes a rapport (mentally to her, "as if" you know the same people and events), and makes you seem safe, because of course "dangerous psychopaths don't think Stewie is cute like me and my friends do". I have a fucking family guy beanie with Stewie on the front of it, and get opened on it, and have fucked women that opened me based on just the stupid hat! Plus as a convo stall breaker it is easy to remember in field, vs abstract inner gamer concepts etc. It's effective, enough said. Gun The free original Gunwitch Method: http://gunwitchpua.com/best-free-seduction-method Check out my new live training: http://gunwitchpua.com/seminars-consults

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